


Latte Art and Slow Dancing in the Dark

by deadonarrival



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Back on my Bullshit 2k19, Barista and Student Bucky, Bucky goes back to work, CIA Agent Steve, Check the Author Notes for warnings, D/s undertones, Daddy Kink, Edging, Explicit Language, Former military Bucky, Former military Steve, Hard of Hearing Clint Barton, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Pet Names, Risk Aware Consensual Kink, SHIELD but not SHIELD, Safe Sane and Consensual, Sign Language, Spanking, Steve is 38, Sugar Daddy Steve, WRITE THE GARBAGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD FAM, bucky is 28, ptsd mention, sniper Bucky, unprotected sex, very very light bdsm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2019-12-18 03:19:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 81,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18241319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadonarrival/pseuds/deadonarrival
Summary: @kirszeth apparently there's a Starbucks inside the CIA building, and to be a barista you get a rigorous background check and can't ask the agent's name for the cup, so who's going to write the newest stucky coffee shop au form this?Thanks to this lovely fiend and @BiStarBucky and all the other enablers on twitter for making this a reality.Here's the tea:Bucky is a somewhat well-adjusted former army sniper that got his shoulder blown out. He took his discharge and went home to finish school and is working on his international relations masters. His best friends and roommates (Nat & Clint) are CIA agents and tip him off that their local Sbux is hiring. He gets a job there and meets none other than the hottest guy on earth.So how does one get a date in the most top secret government location in the US? What happens when that guy is more than just a hot dorito and wants to give Bucky everything he wants? Bucky is going to have to figure out his shit and fast. That's what's up.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The Twitter Collaborative](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=The+Twitter+Collaborative).



> HERE I AM BACK ON MY BULLSHIT WITH THIS SELF INDULGENT GARBAGE FIC. 
> 
> I'M NOT SORRY FOR ANYTHING.

Bucky picks up the paper cup and scribbles the order on the side in his sharp penmenship and then sets it on the counter. 

“Will that be all?” 

“And maybe a slice of that lemon bread thing,” the man in front of him says. 

“Good choice,” Bucky smiles and rings it all up, taking the agent’s money and then calling to one of his coworkers to grab an iced lemon for the customer as they move down the bar. “I can take whoever’s next.” 

And that is when it happens. 

“Yeah can I get a venti Caramel Macchiato?” 

“Hot or Iced?” 

“Iced.” 

“And anyth-” Bucky looks up but stops mid-word as he lays eyes on what has to be the hottest man he has ever seen in his entire adult life. Holy fuck he is really gay. He blinks once or twice as Hottie McHotterson just stares blankly at him and then picks up where he left off, “anything else?” 

“Blueberry muffin?” 

Bucky sighs and does that retracted slow blink you do when you cannot believe what is happening in front of your fucking eyes and rings it up before going and getting it himself and presenting it back to blonde, stacked, and stubbled. “You can have anything you want … that’ll be --” 

The guy hands over a $10 bill like he knows and Bucky takes it, gives him his change and watches as he blushes, drops the change in the tip jar and scuttles down to the end of the bar to wait for his drink. 

That interaction is going to get him through the rest of the morning rush hour and maybe even into the dead zone between breakfast and lunch. God _damn_ how can anyone that hot actually work here, it’s criminal? 

When things calm down, Bucky elbows his coworker, “Hey, Iron Man, please tell me you saw that blonde at breakfast this morning.” 

“The one with her hair in a --”

“No you disgusting heterosexual, the beefcake smokeshow that came in and looked like he could bench-press a Fiat. Lovingly though.” 

Peter rolls his eyes. “I mean I think so? I don’t really pay attention like you do.” 

Bucky sighs and reaches out, flicking at their name tags, “this is stupid.” 

“Privacy man. No compromised identities.” Bucky rolls his eyes and pulls his apron over his head. 

“I need to get to class. I’ll see you tomorrow. If that guy comes back and asks for my number tell him I’m a verse botto--” 

“LEAVE.” 

****

At school, Bucky tries to concentrate but honestly it’s a struggle because all he can think about is the shoulder to waist ratio on the guy who walked into his Starbucks today and also his blue eyes and blonde hair and--

“Mr. Barnes?” 

He glances up from where his pen has been bleeding ink on the page for probably the last 10 minutes straight because there’s a puddle of it. 

“HnnghYEAH?” 

“Did you want to share with us your thoughts on the diplomatic immunity situation we discussed last class?” 

He really wants DICKlomatic immunity which he files away to tell his roommates later but instead clears his throat and flips back to his notes from his last class and scans them before answering at least somewhat intelligibly. He’s relatively certain he has the answer correct even though this isn’t a pass/fail scenario and more an open discussion and thoughtful dialogue.. Whatever that means. Fuck he really likes Professor Rhodes he just wishes the guy wasn’t so attractive and also terrifying. 

He’s _also_ heard his husband is way scarier but thankfully he’s not a professor so there’s that. Praise God for small favours. 

By the time classes let out it’s late and Bucky is dawdling around the metro and then skipping a connecting bus to just walk home. It’s not worth waiting around and the weather is just starting to break from winter to spring so he kind of wants to enjoy it before they get a freak last minute blizzard or something. When he gets to his house he unlocks the front door, hangs up his coat and toes off his shoes as he shouts towards the kitchen. 

“Mom, Dad, I’m home!” 

“In here sweetheart!” the sarcasm travels. 

Bucky rolls his eyes and comes around the corner with his bag in hand, “you cooking tonight? Shit I better order a pizza.” 

“Ha ha very funny,” Clint says, he’s still got his hearing-aids in and Bucky ambles over to see what he’s actually up to before he sets up with his homework at the dining room table. 

“You need any help in here?” He asks. 

“Nah, just gonna throw this in the oven to finish and then when Nat gets in we can throw in the garlic bread. You wanna crack open the wine?” 

“You haven’t already?” Bucky raises an eyebrow and goes over to their rickety little rack and tugs at a few different bottles before he finds the one he’s looking for and grabs it and the bottle opener. 

Clint motions towards the recycling bin where the bottle that was previously half empty is now full empty and he shrugs. “Some of it went in the sauce.” 

“Some…” Bucky repeats. 

He pours out glasses of wine and then takes his to the table to settle in with his homework. He wants to stay on top of things it’s one of the ways he keeps a vestige of control on his life since he came back from Iraq. Not that he talks about that all too much. By the time Nat comes home and they’re sitting around eating, Bucky still ticking away on his laptop occasionally, he almost forgets what he wanted to tell them about. 

“Oh -- shit I know we don’t talk about office stuff.” 

Nat and Clint both nod. It’s one of the unofficial/official house and office rules. They work for the CIA as operatives or agents or something; frankly Bucky isn’t really sure and he thinks he’s probably safer not knowing. But! They did tell him about the opening at the Starbucks inside the agency when his old job laid a bunch of people off. They keep things vague when they bring anything up and it’s best that way. Still, this is definitely only tangentially work related so he thinks it can fly. 

“There was a super hot guy at work today and I want to bang him like a screen door in a hurricane.” 

Clint reaches out to high five him and Nat just nods approvingly. 

“That’s progress,” she says. 

“See, that’s what I was saying,” Bucky says half to himself and half to the table. “He’s just … I can’t describe him to you I know but God he is HOT and I want to just…” he flaps his hands aimlessly and Clint nods. 

“It do be like that.” 

Nat rolls her eyes and reaches out to steal the last piece of garlic bread. “I’m glad you found someone who caught your eye. It’s been awhile and it’s about time you thought about fulfilling your needs.” 

“Oh he can fill me alright.” 

Clint snorts his wine out and fist bumps Bucky as they both crack up laughing and Nat blows a breath out through loudly, “you know what I’ll do the dishes just to escape you two. Also Clint, I’m not giving you a blowjob anymore.” 

“Aw… babes.” 

Bucky pats him on the shoulder consolingly, “sometimes you gotta make sacrifices for comedic timing.” 

“Maybe I can help her do dishes and get brownie points.” 

“You do that man,” Bucky says, leaning back into his seat and dragging his books back towards him. While he’s writing up a policy brief he thinks about how he can get this guy’s attention at work. One of the big policies they have is that you can’t just ask for someone’s name and it’s also why none of them wear a nametag with their real name and instead go by fake character names (currently they’re rotating comic books). It’s a safety issue. There’s also lots of stuff about not making casual contact outside of work with the agents - like if you recognize them outside of the building don’t wave. Don’t acknowledge you know them. No posting which capitol Starbucks you work out. Social Media Blackouts. Privacy is Priority. 

Oh and you better know how to make a _damn good_ flat white. 

Bucky managed to get cleared lightning fast but he was also a former sniper for the 75th Ranger Reg and then Delta Force. Young recruit, in and out. Then someone blew a hole straight through his goddamn shoulder and ruined his shooting career. He’d been discharged, honorably. They’d given him a number of options to stay in but he was ready to get out after what he’d seen and done and frankly it was kind of nice to go out on top. They gave him medals, paid for his surgery and rehab and now he was going to school at Johns Hopkins for Advanced International Studies. 

When he put it all out there like that on his barista application he sounded almost put together, normal. He didn’t put anything down about the screaming nightmares or the fact that he lived with his two friends because his family wouldn’t have him back after he came out. There’s a lot that’s bad but he’s trying to focus on the good these days as much as he can. It’s hard though. 

Still, he can do this. 

By 11pm he’s shutting down his computer and packing everything up to head to bed. He’s got the opening shift again and he drags himself into a shower before he passes out in a haze of blonde hair and blue eyes. 

*****

When his alarm goes off at 4am he grudgingly gets out of bed and gets ready. There’s no pep in his step, just a resigned acknowledgement that this time of day actually exists and that he’s up at it. He needs the money but fuck, at what cost to his sanity? 

Still, he cheers a little when he thinks he might run into Hot Guy again and actually gets to the time clock 5 minutes early. 

As he preps everything he sings along quietly to the set playlist even though it’s fucking dumb but all the songs are stuck in his head now whether he likes them or not. There’s fresh coffee ground up and ready to be brewed, every syrup that needs to be made fresh is made, all the milk is restocked, the blenders are set up, and each scoop container is topped up and ready. The first customer comes in at 6am on the nose and Bucky gets them a fresh blonde roast drip coffee and then settles in to wait for the rest of the crew to turn up and the place to get busy. 

When Peter gets in, Bucky switches to bar and Peter takes over register, the two of them working seamlessly on the line. Cups start working their way towards Bucky and he checks the orders up and then maneuvers them so that everything is made in the fastest way possible. He’s got it down to an art form and it keeps him steadily in the zone. He’s sort of out of it when he glances up to hand over a cappuccino and when he does he sees blonde guy from yesterday hanging out and waiting at the end of the counter. 

On the one hand there’s nothing saying that he isn’t allowed to recognize people that come in every day, on the other hand he doesn’t want them to make a rule saying that because he goes and does something weird to an agent. 

Still, he totally saw the guy blush so he must be at least A LITTLE into it. Bucky is standing there, waiting for the last of the shots to finish when he has an idea. A terrible, awful, HORRIBLE idea… but he goes with it because there’s no rule against writing _other_ things on the cups. Just no names. 

Well, this isn’t a name. 

Bucky takes his sharpie out, draws a winking smiley face and then pops the lid on Blondie’s drink. When he hands it over, he makes sure the added artwork is facing it’s intended audience and so is Bucky. 

“I have an iced, venti, caramel macchiato?” 

Blondie steps up to the counter, hand outstretched and does a double take at Bucky before a cute, sweet blush sweeps over his cheeks. God he’s fucking cute, Bucky just wants to sit on his lap and tell him all about how his day went. 

“That uh… that’s mine,” the guy says. 

Bucky bites his lip in an inviting way and hands it over, making sure their fingers brush. 

“Have a great day,” he says, glancing up through his eyelashes. 

Bucky turns away, not wanting to be a fucking creep and drag the moment out but he doesn’t miss the way that Blondie hovers at the end of the counter and the little snort he makes at what Bucky hopes is the winking face on his cup. Fuck.. FUCK he’s flirting with a CIA agent what is his fucking LIFE. 

He decides that night after classes that this is how he’s going to play it. He’s going to keep giving Blondie little reminders that he’s into him and then he has to let Blondie make the first move. It’s literally the only way. After all, Blondie is the one with more to lose here and he definitely outranks Bucky in the grand CIA/Starbucks hierarchy of things. It might take patience, which Bucky can do. After all he was a sniper that position is a waiting game. 

Currently he’s got a moving target in his cross hairs. 

***** 

Bucky works 5 days a week which means he has the opportunity to see Hot Boy every day. The winking face was on a Tuesday so that means he’s got to come up with three more of these things for the rest of the week. 

He goes for a classic. 

That day when he’s working the bar he scribbles ‘007’ on Blondie’s cup and slides it over to him with a wink. When Blondie glances up at him to say something Bucky taps his name tag and Blondie’s mouth just hangs open a second. 

The nice thing about these stupid erasable tags is that Bucky can change them up daily. Usually he and Peter just doodle stupid things around their currently assigned nicknames but for today Bucky purposely had an extra in his pocket that he slipped on when he saw Blondie come in that said “Bond Boy” on it. 

He hopes that sends a clear enough signal. 

This time Blondie clears his throat and smiles a little behind his hand before digging out a couple of dollars and dropping it in the tip jar.

“Have a nice day,” Bucky says. 

“You too,” Blondie replies. He looks like he might add something else but then thinks better of it and leaves in a hurry. 

Bucky hates to see him go but loves to watch him leave. 

That night at dinner he tells Clint that he got a smile out of the cute guy at work and Clint claps him on the back. They crack open celebratory beers and Bucky pointedly doesn’t ask where Nat is. The answer is probably covert ops but they definitely can’t talk about it and Bucky moves his homework over to the couch where he can sit near Clint and the two of them watch _Gilmore Girls_ reruns because it keeps Clint from going off the deep end. 

*****

The next morning, Bucky is on register and he’s taking orders instead of making them. Still, when Blondie comes up to his register, Bucky waits patiently to hear his order even though he knows what it’s going to be. He writes it on the cup with a flourish and tries not to smile too much. 

“What else do you want?” he asks, voice low and sultry on purpose. 

When he glances up over the order screen he can see Blondie staring at him and Bucky stares right back. 

“You…” Blondie says and a beat too long passes to be a mistake before he’s looking aside and licking over his bottom lip, “could suggest something?” 

Bucky exhales and feels his heart start beating again because he didn’t think he could get the guy to play back but fuck now that this is on the table he’s never going to recover. 

“Why don’t you try the sous vide egg bites?” Bucky says, sounding almost professional. “A little more than a mouthful but,” Bucky shrugs and makes it a point to look his crush up and down, “I think you’ll like it.” 

Blondie is pink in the cheeks but he nods, “sure.” 

Bucky rings it up and as Blondie goes to leave Bucky says, “bye~” 

It’s flirty and dangerous and Bucky sort of worries about it a little but if he can sneak around an active combat zone he figures this is nothing. 

He waits a minute and glances down to the end of the bar as he hears Peter calling Blondie’s drink order up because he wants to see his face. He can see the guy’s lips curve into a half smile and Bucky looks away before he gets caught. Today’s cup just said “Nice Eyes” and he’s kind of feeling like he can do anything. 

Class that night is predictably brutal. It’s his Tues/Thurs so it’s Dr. Rhodes again and he never goes easy on any of them. Then again he is the best so what do you expect. Bucky follows along the best he can but he’s still distracted by thoughts of the guy at work - then again he knows what happens when he gets called out daydreaming so he drags himself back to the present and forces himself to stay tuned into the lecture. 

When he gets home Nat still isn’t back so he and Clint order pizza and go back to Stars Hollow. While they’re sitting there Bucky brings up the hot guy at work and Clint puts a hand up. 

“Remember. No identifying details no--” 

“I know the rules I was just going to say he flirted back a little and it was kind of cute.” 

“Oh yeah?” Clint asks, looking at Bucky, “that’s .. huh. I mean I don’t think that’s against the code of ethics but still good for you man.” 

“I’m trying to think of how to get him to ask me out without you know… asking him to ask me out.” 

“If he’s into dudes I’m sure you have a shot,” Clint says because he’s kind and likes to boost Bucky’s ego. 

Bucky sighs and tabs between documents, pulling up his latest essay that he’s supposed to be copy editing and groans as he finds another obvious typo and missing citation. 

“Fuck me…” he mutters under his breath. 

“Tried that in Kuwait,” Clint reminds him helpfully. 

“Please never bring that up again.” 

*****

Friday.. Friday he can do this it’s the last day of his scheduled shifts and then he’s got the weekend to party. If by partying he means do his homework and laundry and put in some time at the gym before he lets his entire body go to waste. 

Still, he’s angling to get Blondie’s attention but when he shows up at the register today he’s all business and looks frazzled and talking in low voices with whoever is next to him, someone who looks important and full of absolutely Taking No Shit. Bucky loses whatever steam he had planned and instead just writes Blondie’s order on the cup with a sympathetic frowny face and heart before sending it along. 

He sighs and taps in the orders, takes their money and doesn’t think about it, reminds himself that it’s the weekend maybe he can get a couple of drinks in him and go to the club or something. Or try to. He’s just taking another order and thinking determinedly about how he is not going to mope or be weird about this when Blondie reappears at the register and shoves a $5 bill into the tip jar. Bucky looks up, stunned and Blondie just holds the cup up, looks like he’s just as sad as that little face and then he’s gone again in the crowd. 

It’s the strangest fucking interaction that Bucky has probably ever had with a human being that he wants to bone but … well his whole life is kind of strange when he thinks about it. 

Nat is home that night, but she’s already in bed when he gets in and Clint is cleaning up the kitchen very quietly. He pushes a pre-made plate over to Bucky and winks before stealthily climbing upstairs to presumably join Nat in bed. 

Bucky signs ‘thank you’ at him and Clint signs back ‘good night’ before he disappears around the corner of the staircase. 

For a minute Bucky considers going out and getting shitfaced but also he has a lot of homework to do so that’s probably the least helpful idea. Fuck. 

He grabs his plate and his homework and heads to his room and shuts the door. An exciting weekend for JBB. 

*****

Monday morning causes him physical pain and he tries to let it go but also it’s Monday and he’s opening. His entire soul hurts. It’s 4am and he’s boarding the metro and he feels like his eyeballs are full of sand and murder. 

When he gets to work he half drags his body through the motions and okay he is not only on the struggle bus he is _driving_ the struggle bus. But he’s determined. 

Also he has everything set up for this week in terms of flirting with Blondie. He’s going to come out of the gate strong and maybe by this weekend he’ll have a date or at the very least a confirmed ‘yes or no’ to keep pursuing. 

And it works to a point. 

Monday he writes “Cutest Agent” on the cup and makes Blondie blush all the way to the tips of his ears. It’s worth it and Bucky almost gets a little bashful in return at how fucking cute the guy looks when he’s put on the spot like that. God he wants to take him _apart_. 

Tuesday he hits him at the register with “Favorite Part of My Day” and Blondie gives him this rueful little smile that just looks so ‘gosh ma’am’ that Bucky kind of feels like punching him in the shoulder and asking if he wants to get an egg cream at the malt shop for fucks sake. The way Blondie looks up through his mile long lashes also makes Bucky want to melt but God when he says “same” Bucky feels his knees get physically weaker. 

Wednesday, Bucky goes for BROKE. He’s making drinks at the bar and when he gets Blondie’s he scribbles, “Gay? (pls…)” and maybe he shouldn’t have had like 10 shots of espresso today. Normally he stops at 8 but something about those last two has just … pushed him straight over the edge until he’s basically vibrating at a high frequency that dogs can probably hear. He hands the cup over to Blondie and even though _he just wrote it_ he blanks on what he put. Blondie picks it up, laughs and shakes his head, raises an eyebrow and says, “Bye.” 

He makes a cheers-ing motion and Bucky makes a stuttering sound, looking like he’s been shot, _again_ , as he goes and then he turns to look at Peter saying, “I think I’m going to be sick.” 

He runs into the back room and is indeed very sick. It might not have been the 10 shots of espresso either he actually feels like he’s coming down with something like FUCKING REJECTION no that’s not it. I mean that is contributing to how low he feels but the 102 fever doesn’t help either. Bucky goes home early and picks up some over the counter meds along the way and then holes up in his room with his laptop already emailing professors about his lack of attendance and seeing if he can get ahold of class notes. 

He feels like baked ass and after making a fucking fool of himself in front of Blondie he feels even worse. What was he thinking. WHAT WAS HE THINKING!? 

Bucky takes a deep breath and heaves into his little trash bin that he brought in because he had a feeling the nausea was not finished with him and then he gets up and cracks open a new gatorade. He just wants a peaceful life and maybe to get some hot ass occasionally and finish school and … he’s spiraling a little. 

He thinks about how he probably needs to transfer now but also he’s not sure if you can get a transfer out of the CIA Starbucks. What do they even say to a potential future store? “Hey we would love to recommend this associate but we can neither confirm nor deny their employment at the current Starbucks store in question and while we’re at it we cannot confirm their identity either. Thank you.” 

Bucky groans and rolls over, “Alexa? Turn off the lights.” 

The little digital voice answers “Okay!” and his lights click off across the room. He thinks he’s probably in a relationship with his robot. Is that something you put on Facebook? 

*****

By Monday Bucky feels almost human. That’s an overstatement, he feels like a multi-cellular organism but probably not a complex one. He drags himself into work because he feels bad calling out another day and besides he really needs the fucking money. 

When he gets in he sighs and feels the sting of disappointment hit him all over again. Better make this week a good one for Blondie but also just kind of benign or thematic. 

Oh a theme. He can do a theme then he can just play it off if things go south. I

He works register and Peter works the bar, when he sees Blondie, “Hey!” the guy is in earlier than usual and he makes a bee line right towards Bucky. “Hey you’re back!” 

“Hey,” Bucky says, trying to be neutrally polite, “what can I get for you?” 

Blondie looks at him and then slowly his smile goes from happy to confused, “are you okay?” 

“I had a stomach bug,” Bucky says with a shrug, “I hope I didn’t get you sick or any--” 

“Are you better now?” Blondie asks, seriously. 

“I’m fine,” Bucky replies, his sharpie in hand hovering over the iced cup. He knows the guys order by heart but he has to wait for him to say it because otherwise it’s a protocol breach. 

“Oh.. okay,” Blondie says, suddenly careful. “I’ll have the usual.” 

Bucky hangs his head with a huffed out laugh, “you have to say it,” he says, “I’m not allowed to memorize your drink order.” He pauses and then looks up, “sir.” 

Blondie looks almost taken aback and then just looks sad. “O..oh. I just you were - the cup --” 

“I could get fired for it sorry,” Bucky puts it back and caps the sharpie. “What would you like to drink?” he asks again, the cheer in his voice obviously fake and sounding just as tired as he does. There’s thankfully not a line or else they’d probably both be getting yelled at. 

“Venti, iced, caramel macchiato,” Blondie says, frowning. 

Bucky reaches out for the iced cup and writes the order on it and then sends it down the bar. 

“Can I get you anything else?” 

They stare at each other for a little too long and then Blondie just shakes his head no and pays. 

“Have a nice day,” Bucky says. 

“You too.” 

When Blondie gets to the end of the bar, his drink is waiting and he picks it up and Bucky watches him check it out of habit. He sees his face crinkle in confusion and then he walks away. Today it said, “you can fall apart.” 

*****

After that, Bucky begs Peter to let him take over the bar because he just can’t have an interaction like that again with Blondie and if he’s working on making the drinks they can’t talk. He’s too busy working. With his hands. And foaming hot milk it’s dangerous. Stuff. Things. 

On Tuesday he puts “break my heart” on Blondie’s cup and tries not to make eye contact with him the whole time. 

Wednesday, he gets a reprieve and Blondie isn’t there so he doesn’t have to worry about the repeater. 

Thursday, he hands over “doesn’t even start.” 

And then it’s Friday and Bucky is jittery with nerves because this is the one that will hopefully make it all make sense. Or he’s going to look like a psychopath. Well to be fair he probably already looks like a psychopath at this point so is there really any going back? 

When Blondie comes through the line, Bucky hands over the last of this week’s cups and it says “i’m in love”. 

Blondie freezes for a moment and then his face softens and then he looks like he’s between emotions. 

“The Cure,” he says. 

“Mm,” Bucky says noncommittally. 

Blondie runs his thumb over the letters and then drops a $10 bill in the tip jar before he’s gone and Bucky doesn’t feel very in love at all. 

Normally he’d be going home and going straight to bed because he signed up for an extra Saturday shift in the morning but he feels like shit and he kind of needs to get out. So.. .he does what anyone who has to wake up at 4am does. He gets his best friend to go to a club with him and be his PTSD spotter. 

Clint is a trooper, he can usually tell when Bucky is getting to a bad place with the strobe lights and the crowd of people and he’s never weird about going to gay bars so it’s perfect. Nat sometimes goes with them but she’s been kind of a homebody since her last excursion and Bucky doesn’t want to push her so she sends the two of them out, taking a picture on her cell phone like she’s a proud parent and out they go towards the gayborhood. 

Bucky pregamed at the house with some vodka/cranberry and he’s got a disposable water bottle in his hand that he’s sipping out of that’s the same. It’s trashy but he’s not paying $16 a drink just because they’re near Dupont. Fuck that. 

By the time they get to the club it’s already pretty packed and he’s happily tipsy and his plan to only get one drink to ease his bullshit feelings goes out the window especially because Clint buys the first two rounds and for some reason they’re doing some kind of Pride Happy Hour. Bucky doesn’t ask questions he just opens his mouth and allows the alcohol to flow through him. Let go and Let God. 

At some point he loses his shirt and is in the middle of the crowded dance floor, the whole place seemingly grinding up against him to Biggie and he feels better than he has in days. This whole workplace crush thing was a stupid idea and he doesn’t need anyone else to be happy. He’s got a lot of fucking homework to keep him company and he should just be happy with that. Yeah and when he wants to let go he’ll just come here. When he closes his eyes he can feel hands on his bare side and stomach and it feels good - it feels like too much and just enough. He’s sweaty and loose and wanting and getting. But he knows he has work in the morning so when someone gets closer and asks if he wants to step out back he has to turn them down. 

Maybe another night he says, giving them a kiss on the cheek. 

Clint meets him by the door, the two of them signing at each other over the crowd and the thumping bass. 

When they get to the street, Clint motions to his ears and shakes his head and Bucky nods, sloppy with it and goes to signing. He lisps with his hands at the best and soberest of times but now he’s messy and giggly and Clint is laughing at his attempts at signing while shit faced. Still. 

It was a good time it’s what he needed and he’s glad Clint came out with him. 

He gets home, falls straight into bed and tries not to remember that he has to be awake in two hours. 

Power napping. 

*****

Waking up is like getting run over by a truck. 

Bucky isn’t sure if he’s hungover or still drunk but when he gets to his feet and looks in the mirror and sways he’s pretty sure he might actually still be drunk. Which he thinks he’d rather have that than a hangover. 

Still. It’s a Saturday shift. No one comes in on Saturday and it’s a short one - only until noon and then he’s out of there and he can come back here and sleep off whatever the fuck he drank last night. He really hopes it wasn’t Jager because if it was he’s never going to recover and that’s that on that. 

Bucky rolls out of bed and leaves on most of what he was wearing the night before but grabs his uniform shirt and hat and then somehow gets to the metro. Fuck… this was a terrible idea but he still isn’t regretting it. 

When he gets to work he sneaks a breakfast sandwich and then makes the most caffeinated thing he can think of which is 10 shots on ice and just starts pile driving the thing. He almost feels human after an hour although still kind of drunk but hey, as long as the fucking CEO doesn’t come in he’s going to be fine. 

He can handle it. It’s mostly administrative and building crew on the weekend - service staff and people to do maintenance that kind of thing. None of them are going to judge him. 

And you know, everything is going fine as far as Bucky is concerned, everything is coming up JBB. He’s just about to grab a cup of ice water for himself when he hears footsteps and when he looks up he says “fuck” out loud. 

Blondie isn’t supposed to be in on Saturdays. What the _fuck_. 

He assumes Blondie must have the same reaction because he freezes halfway through the store and looks at Bucky like he’s been slapped and they have a strange high-noon stand off going for a minute before the need for coffee must outweigh how awkward it all is and Blondie comes up, looking pinched and stretched at the same time. 

Bucky hopes he looks sober. 

“What can I get you?” he asks, and manages it without slurring a single word. 

Blondie nods and puts his hands in his pockets, “venti, iced, caramel macchiato.” 

Bucky nods back as he scribbles the order on the cup, the one he knows by heart, “anything else?” 

Blondie looks over at the pastry case and shrugs, shakes his head, “nah.” 

Bucky takes his money and then moves over to bar because it’s skeleton crew on the weekend and in the early mornings so he’s a one man show. He makes Blondie’s drink and when he slaps the lid on it he feels jaunty. Fuck maybe he is more drunker than he thought. Actually maybe this is the hangover portion hitting. Fuck he hates getting a hangover while awake what the fuck. 

Pushing the cup towards Blondie he huffs and goes back to clean up the mess he made at the bar and he hears Blondie choke. Bucky whips his head back making sure he’s actually not medically in danger and instead finds Blondie red all the way down his collar and pointing at his cup. 

Bucky squints and then looks mortified for .5 seconds before straightening up. He was a fucking Black Ops agent, he will not be intimidated by some suited up CIA fuckboy. It’s not going to happen, not today and not ever. 

“Yeah?” Bucky says. 

Blondie stares at him and Bucky just stares right back. He might be seeing … well.. Not quite double of Blondie but maybe one and a half of him but that’s not going to stop him from winning whatever it is they’re doing here. 

Blondie sets the cup down, reaches in his pocket and pulls out his wallet. Bucky assumes he’s about to leave the world’s smallest tip as an insult but instead he pulls out a … $2 bill. 

Bucky squints harder. Blondie is taking out a pen and scribbling on the bill. 

“Isn’t that--” 

“Illegal to deface legal tender but also illegal to do what I’m doing so … I hope it all comes out in the wash.” 

Blondie straightens up and Bucky coughs. 

“I thought $2 bills were fake.” 

“They aren’t.” 

Blondie pushes the $2 bill across to him and when he starts to look at it, Blondie covers it up with his hand. “Fold it up and look at it later, maybe when you’re home?” 

Bucky has just enough fire left in him to glare, “Fine.” 

“Good.” 

“Bye Hot Boy,” Bucky sasses as Blondie leans back and grabs his drink. 

“I thought it was ‘Daddy?’” Blondie holds up the cup with Bucky’s own writing turned towards him and Bucky shrugs. 

“Earn it.” 

Blondie gives him a look and then snorts, “wait until you get home to read the money.” 

“Whatever.” 

Bucky isn’t in the mood. If he were sober he’d probably be appalled at literally everything he just did and when he gets back into the right headspace tomorrow he’s probably also going to beat the shit out of himself for it all. But right now he feels like hot garbage and he is not going to put up with anything or anyone. Not even the hottest guy in the CIA.

*****

Bucky waits until he’s home to read the money. 

*****

What he has is a $2 bill in his pocket that says “Steve” followed by a phone number with a NY area code. Bucky sucks in a breath and stares for a good 7 minutes thinking this is some elaborate prank. Maybe not homophobic then. Huh. So Bucky does what any sane person would do, he puts the number in his phone and texts it with: 

 

 **Bucky**  
Are you fucking kidding me? 

 

He has to wait for about 10 minutes to get a reply but when he does… 

 

 **CIA Daddy**  
Seemed like a good way to get your number. Besides, I like $2 bills they’re classic. 

**Bucky**  
Is this a social call or what? 

**CIA Daddy**  
I don’t know, what do you want it to be, Captain America?

 

Bucky groans because he forgot that’s what his goddamn name tag is at work. 

 

 **Bucky**  
I don’t know anything about you. Other than the coffee order I’m not supposed to. And I guess your name. 

**CIA Daddy**  
That’s fair. Can I take you out for dinner and drinks tonight? I’d normally say coffee but… 

**Bucky**  
Sure. How about 9pm. I need a nap. 

**CIA Daddy**  
Jack Rose Saloon? 

 

And that… that makes Bucky pause but you know… in for a penny.. 

 

 **Bucky**  
If you’re buying. 

**CIA Daddy**  
You said I had to earn it. I plan to. 

The phone drops out of Bucky’s hand and he lets his face smash unceremoniously into the pillows as he screams. Letting them muffle the sound. 

“Alexa? Set an alarm for 8pm.” 

“Alarm set today for 8pm.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First date first date first date!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note! Just a reminder that Steve is a CIA Agent so he does carry a side arm ... it's mentioned in passing in a joking manner so if you're sensitive to guns maybe just gloss by that bit. It's not USED in any way.

Bucky passes out before he can overthink it and lets sleep and exhaustion take him. When Alexa starts beeping at him at 8 he considers turning it off and going back to sleep but also he’s thinking about the promise of a free dinner and that ends up outweighing the nap. He can always duck out early and come back here and get right back to it. He has all day Sunday to catch up on homework and sleep and that’s his plan, no distractions. 

As for this … _whatever_ … with Steve, eh. He has little expectations. He’s too hungover and sleep-deprived to care anymore. There was a time, a week ago, when he was perky and bright-eyed and naive about life; when he thought this was fun and could be a good time, maybe a really fun hook-up but that time is gone now. 

Now he’s like a cockroach. He’s just a pest, here to outlast everyone else and survive at all costs.

Bucky grabs some artfully ripped black jeans off the floor, a pair of black ankle boots, tosses on a clean white tee shirt and tops it off with a cropped black moto jacket that he filled out better right after he left the military. He runs some wet fingers through his hair and splurges on a Lyft. He doesn’t have anyone to impress here goddamnit.

Except, when he walks in, he realizes… he _does._

Because sitting there in a booth and waving him over casually and as if he has all the time in the world is Steve. And Bucky hasn’t ever seen him outside of work. He’s always seen Steve in a suit and he is wholly unprepared for casual Steve. Because he’s in dark wash jeans and a fitted button down that definitely doesn’t hide the shape of his body and fuck. If Bucky thought he was a Sexy Dorito before … 

His mouth goes dry and he stares for just long enough that the hostess appears and asks if he needs help. 

“Sorry - no my -- table.” Bucky motions to where Steve is waiting and the girl raises an eyebrow and smirks at him. 

“Oh… you’re with _him_.” 

Bucky scowls because he doesn’t know what _that’s_ supposed to mean and he doesn’t like the implications. He saunters past her and over to the booth, sliding in opposite Steve and giving him what he hopes is a distant and uninterested look. 

There's a moment where Bucky thinks he's successful, but then Steve is looking at him, and it's that kind of look that you can feel on your skin like a tangible weight. 

“You look incredible,” Steve says. 

Bucky melts immediately. 

“Thanks,” he says, ducking his head and trying hard not to smile. “You’re not so bad yourself.” 

“You gonna tell me your name yet?” Steve asks. “I don’t want to keep calling you Captain America. It’s weird.” 

“James,” Bucky says. He figures it’s not exactly a lie. 

“James,” Steve stands up and Bucky balks. “Let me help you with your jacket.” 

Steve stands there expectantly and Bucky is still catching his fucking breath. He finally pants out a ‘fuck’ and stands quickly facing Steve only to have Steve lay a gentle hand on his hip and turn him around until they’re back to front and Steve is slipping the leather off Bucky’s shoulders and down his arms so slowly that Bucky knows he’s doing this shit on purpose. Bucky can feel his heartbeat speeding up and he thinks he’s going to pass out. He’s definitely feeling sweaty out of nowhere, that’s for sure. 

Steve folds the leather gently over his arm and moves away from Bucky without a word and Bucky _feels_ the dismissal. He sits without a single word and Steve lays the jacket next to himself in the booth and Bucky knows that means he’ll put it back on him later and that … causes a whole lot of butterflies to come out of nowhere. 

The waiter shows up before Bucky can say anything about it and Steve looks at him expectantly. 

“Do you have any preferences?” 

“Alcohol,” Bucky says simply. 

Steve snorts a laugh and says the name of something that Bucky doesn’t even catch but that he thinks is a whisky. Steve also orders waters, and then starts flipping through the rest of the food menu. 

“So, James, I'm going to admit... I get really awkward on dates because I don’t know how to make small talk and everything I do sounds like an interrogation,” Steve says. He’s got this little rueful half smile and Bucky wants to kiss it off his face and he’s not sure where that compulsion is coming from. 

“Well, seems fitting considering your line of work,” Bucky points out, scanning over the appetizers and small plates and eyeballing the entrees longingly. “It’s also kind of extra awkward since we both have each other by the balls on the whole workplace thing, huh?” 

“Could say that,” Steve says, “though leverage can be fun in the right context.” 

Bucky raises his head slowly to look Steve in the eye and fuck he’s enjoying this. 

“So do you flirt with all your customers by coffee cup?” Steve asks. 

“Only the ones I want to take me out to dinner,” Bucky counters. 

Steve gestures expansively to indicate Bucky clearly got his way and Bucky manages to look smug. 

“And what do you do besides make coffee and flirt with me?” Steve asks. 

Bucky looks at the open menu in front of him again and then at Steve and shuts his menu, sliding it to the middle of the table. “I’m an international relations student at Johns Hopkins." And then, feeling bold and curious he adds, "Order for me.” 

“Allergies?” Steve asks without missing a beat. 

“No.” 

“Did you just start school?” Steve flips the page, finds what he’s looking for and then sets his menu down, closed on the table. 

“I’m about a year in right now, but it feels like it’s been longer sometimes,” Bucky admits, “it’s a lot to work and do classes but it’s worth it.” 

“You must be very disciplined,” Steve says. 

“I was military so it sort of comes naturally at this point.” 

Steve raises an eyebrow but their waiter appears with their drinks and Steve tips both the menus into the waiter's hands as he orders. 

“We’ll start with a dozen oysters, and then for the entree the seared scallops and the strip steak. Rare.” 

Bucky starts to open his mouth and Steve just cuts him a look that makes him snap his jaw shut. 

“We’d also like the biscuits with honey butter.” 

“Of course,” the waiter nods and hurries away again and Steve slides towards the center of the booth, motioning Bucky to join him as the music grows louder and the lights get lower. It’s officially the after hour portion of the night when the restaurants become full on bars and Bucky, despite his desire to be offended and bitchy kind of wants to see where this bullshit goes. 

Also Steve nailed that order. Goddamn him. 

So Bucky slides into the center of the booth but tries to leave a little space, make it friendly but not _friendly_ , except when he’s within reach, Steve is laying a hand on his thigh and leaning in close to talk directly into his ear. Maybe he’s just trying to be heard over the music but it doesn’t _feel_ that way. It feels like it’s filthy and Bucky twitches involuntarily. 

“Try your whisky and tell me a little more about yourself.” 

Bucky looks down at his glass and then back up at Steve who is very close and who has a beard and who has a mouth that looks incredibly soft. This is horrible. Bucky ignores the whisky. 

“I was an elite Army sniper, got shot in the shoulder, ruined my career, took my honorable discharge and came back for college,” Bucky says as casually as he can. “Figured I would try diplomacy without a gun, see how that worked out.” He leans further into Steve’s space just to see what he’ll do and also he maybe wants to see how Steve smells. He sort of has a thing about that and if Steve smells like cheap cologne then it'll ruin the spell and he can just ... be done with this. But when he dips close, Steve smells like vetiver, leather, bergamot, something woody and God Bucky wants to bury his whole face in it. He casually flicks his eyes up and looks at him through his lashes, knows his face is blotchy with a blush. 

“What about you?” 

“I work,” Steve says, and the way he raises his eyes lets Bucky know that they aren’t going to talk about _that_ any further. Which to be fair, that’s about all they can talk about work in public. It’d be the same with Nat and Clint. “I work _out_ , and I sometimes go out with friends.” 

“Did you do anything fun before you got your job,” Bucky asks carefully. 

“Army,” Steve says, “like you… different division though, I wasn’t a sniper.”

“Not all of us can be so good,” Bucky says with a grin and then hiccups when Steve’s hand climbs up his thigh with a featherlight brush of fingers. 

“No, that’s very true,” he compliments with the kind of sincerity that Bucky wants to pin as fake but knows is genuine. “I was just a regular enlistment, worked my way up for awhile… but took on some special projects because of my tactical strength.” 

“MMhmm,” Bucky nods, looking away from Steve’s eyes and down to his mouth again. He starts to talk when there’s a plate set down to his side, the oysters and the biscuits arriving side by side. 

“Can I get you anything else?” the waiter asks. 

“No thank you,” Steve answers politely. 

Bucky blinks up at him and then over at the food before he starts to reach for a biscuit. 

“Wait,” Steve says. Bucky freezes. “Let me.” 

Bucky frowns and looks longingly at the still-steaming biscuits and the tantalizing oysters and then really scowls as he looks up at Steve who seems completely unbothered. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows as he reaches over for a wedge of lemon, squeezing it over a couple of the oysters and then uses the tiny fork to pry one of the oysters out of its shell. He angles it towards Bucky’s mouth and Bucky opens it out of muscle memory more than anything. Still it’s kind of a shock when Steve gently presses it against his lips, waiting for him to close around the tiny fork tines and pull away. 

“Is it good?” Steve asks. And the way he phrases the question, the way he looks at Bucky … Bucky isn’t sure if he’s asking about the food or about being hand-fed like some young emperor; some spoiled handsome young th-- _OH._ Bucky turns red to the tips of his ears and manages an affirmative ‘mmhmm’ but he doesn’t trust his voice not to crack if he answers out loud. 

Oh fuck. Oh _fuck_ what did he get himself into? And the worst part is he’s kind of really into this? Like sue him but he’s absolutely into getting spoiled and being taken care of - maybe it’s because he had to rough it for so long that the idea of someone else being the caretaker, even in a casual sense like this is appealing to him. But god _damn_. It also doesn’t hurt that Steve is built like a fantasy come to life and keeps whispering in Bucky’s ear. 

“How are you doing?” Steve asks, already reaching for another one, “you look a little out of it.” 

“I don’t think I’ve ever had someone feed me in public,” Bucky says, trying to decide if he’s going to spontaneously combust or not. 

“James I would do a lot of things to you in public... this is probably the one least likely to get us arrested.” 

Bucky exhales and feels like everything around him is slowing down as he leans back in the booth and stretches a little, grabbing that glass of whisky after all. He takes a sip, swirling the contents of the glass as the warm liquid fades down the back of his throat and he can taste all those things like hidden notes and that kind of bullshit. 

“Do you like it?” Steve asks. 

“Yeah,” Bucky says, taking another sip, and then looking up at Steve, “kind of do.” 

He let’s Steve feed him part of the appetizer, mostly because he wants to see if he can get away with licking one of his fingers when he tears off a piece of biscuit (he does). It’s gratifying to see that it’s a two way street. That whatever it is that Bucky is putting on offer that Steve obviously is into and Bucky, hungover or not, is more than here for ALL of this. Steve splits their entree up so they can have a little of each but doesn’t feed Bucky this time. Still, at the end there’s leftovers that Steve has boxed up for Bucky to take home. They’re on their third type of whisky (Steve keeps picking new ones to try) and this one has a cherry aftertaste that Bucky fucking loves. 

He’s maybe not tipsy but somewhere on that hazy edge of just fuzzy and warm and feeling himself. At some point, and he’s not sure when, he slipped one of his legs over Steve’s under the table and he’s angled towards him and sipping from his glass and they’re talking about fucking hockey. It’s a nice safe topic to discuss in public and it’s surprisingly not awkward at all. 

Steve has his hand hooked around Bucky’s knee and he occasionally runs his fingers along the seam of Bucky’s jeans and it feels so good to be touched like that. The casual affection and just general proximity to another person when there’s not an obvious end to the proceedings. Bucky laughs at something Steve says about the Capitals because they’re a trash team and he’s grateful that someone else here acknowledges that and they’re both a little taken aback when the server comes around and asks if they want dessert. 

Bucky shakes his head and Steve strokes higher up the inside of his thigh. 

“No thank you,” he says, “just the check.”

Bucky without realizing it, pouts. 

“Gonna make me go home already?” 

“I thought you had homework and sleep you wanted to get back to,” Steve says, his hand already drawing back. “You were adamant about that earlier.” 

“Well that was 10pm James and this is 12am James. They’re different people.” 

Steve snorts. “And what does 12am James want?” 

The waiter sets the check down wordlessly and Steve just hands over his card without even looking. 

Bucky fishes for a minute because his working brain is like yeah you know, sleep would be pretty fucking great, but also the part of his brain that definitely had 3 very strong drinks and has been flirting with this special agent at work for a couple of weeks who looks like some kind of wet dream come to life is also working overtime. 

James traces a finger over Steve’s chest and down his arm, “I think you know what I want for dessert,” he says. 

“Jesus Christ, kid,” Steve breathes out, shifting in the booth and digging his fingers in to Bucky’s thigh and hitching him closer. 

“So?” Bucky smirks, burying his face into Steve’s shoulder and pushing the empty tumbler on the table. 

“You’re kind of a brat,” Steve growls back, moving so that he can sign the receipt and then wrap an arm around Bucky’s shoulders, ducking and kissing next to his ear, “lets just get out of here hm? We’ll talk about it outside.” 

Bucky huffs out a breath because he’s not ready for this to be over even if he was dreading it at the beginning, but he kind of likes Steve. Yeah it was just a crush-at-first-sight but he’s sort of a nice guy and he’s funny too. Not exactly what Bucky was expecting and it takes him aback… in a good way. 

“C’mon baby,” Steve hums, and Bucky can feel his spine liquify at the endearment. Why is this all it takes to get him hot? Why is kindness what does it for him? Is this fucked up? Is he going to need to talk to his therapist about this? 

He slips out of the booth like he still has any muscular control and when Steve stands up and helps him into his jacket he tries not to visibly shiver but he’s pretty sure he fails. Steve rests a proprietary hand on the small of his back and leads him out the door and into the chilly spring night. 

On the sidewalk, Steve slides his hand away and Bucky has all of a second to feel a little self conscious about that until Steve is threading their fingers together and bringing Bucky close to his side. 

“Can I walk you home? Do you live close by?” 

“I’m actually kind of far … I took a Lyft over and was going to take the metro b--” 

“I’ll get us a ride.” 

Bucky glances back at him as he gets a step ahead and pauses, “‘us’?” 

“I’m not putting you in the car with a stranger,” Steve says, already pulling out his phone. “What’s your address?” 

“I got in the car with a stranger on the way here and I had dinner with a stranger and now I’ll be getting in the car with _two_ strangers. Honestly I’d probably be safer walking home by myself.” 

Steve just stands there, immovable and Bucky stares right back. 

“Do you want my gun for the ride home?” 

Bucky reaches up with his free hand and pinches the bridge of his nose, “you have your _side arm_ on you. Of course you do.” 

“I’m surprised you didn’t clock that earlier,” Steve says. 

“I wasn’t really thinking straight,” Bucky mutters, “no.. keep the gun, I don’t want you having my finger prints or anything like that, Jesus…” he gives Steve his address so Steve can order the car and Steve inputs it before sliding his phone away. 

“I wouldn’t lift your prints off the gun, you know,” Steve says quietly, “that’s really weird.” 

“Well, you’re really weird,” Bucky retaliates. 

“Did you not like something?” Steve asks, shifting uncomfortably and then looking at Bucky seriously. Bucky … doesn’t know what to do with it at first either. That Steve cares that much what he thought about the night and how he did, like he’s getting a grade. It’s kind of endearing and honestly Bucky liked all of it. Like, a _lot_. At first though, he doesn’t answer because he kind of likes all of Steve’s attention laser focused on him like this and also he likes making him sweat a little. But there’s a car pulling up and Bucky just knows it’s for them and Steve isn’t making a move to get towards it until he has an answer. 

“No… no I liked all of it,” Bucky says quietly. 

He gets a relieved little grin out of Steve and then they’re moving towards a black car with dark tinted windows. 

“I … I thought you were … Lyft…” Bucky manages. 

Steve shakes his head ruefully, “CIA in a Lyft? James…” 

Bucky climbs in as Steve holds the door and then Steve is crawling in behind him and scooting until their thighs are touching. It’s probably a good 15 minute ride back to Bucky’s place and he’s anxious all the sudden because this is coming to an end. Or should he invite Steve in? Is that appropriate? It’s a first date… what if it’s their only date? 

Bucky twists to the side and tugs at the front of Steve’s shirt. 

“What are you going to do when we get back to my place?” 

Steve shrugs, slips an arm around Bucky’s shoulders, “walk you to your door, give you a kiss goodnight, make sure you get inside and lock the door.” 

“Steve,” Bucky huffs and shoves at his shoulder, “come on, don’t fuck with me.” 

“I’m serious,” Steve says, thumbing at Bucky’s throat, “did you have a good time?” 

Bucky frowns, “yeah I guess but -- did _you_?” 

“Of course,” Steve says, shifting until he can pull Bucky’s legs over his lap. “Why do you think I didn’t?” 

Bucky shrugs and presses a hand against Steve’s chest - fuck he’s absolutely ripped and wasn’t fucking around about spending a lot of time in the gym. “You didn’t want dessert.” 

Steve snorts and presses his face closer to Bucky’s making it so just the two of them can hear the rest of the conversation. 

“I want dessert, I just don’t want to rush things,” Steve admits, “I don’t want you to think this is a one night stand, and I don’t want you to think I’m just in it for sex.” 

His hand is big and warm where it settles against the outside of Bucky’s thigh and he strokes along the thick muscle there, “trust me, I want you baby, but I want to savor it.” 

Bucky shivers at the words and tips his face up and brushes a thumb over Steve’s bottom lip, “show me.” 

Because he can be a demanding little shit when he wants to be, and he doesn’t back down from a challenge when he sees one. Steve doesn’t answer either, just tips his head in and gives Bucky exactly what he wants. He brushes their mouths together, chaste and easy, and when Bucky thought his lips looked soft earlier he was not wrong. And the little scrape of the beard against his clean shaven face has him imagining the way it would feel everywhere else on his body. 

“More,” Bucky growls, and Steve smiles, licking along Bucky’s top lip and then twisting to slip inside and rub their tongues together with an easy slide that has Bucky arching into him like he’s going to climb right on top and go for broke. There’s still that aftertaste of the cherry and oak from the whisky and burn of alcohol and Bucky wants to have it all at once like every ice cream topping. 

He’s disappointed when the car starts to slow down and stop and he makes a noise in the back of his throat as Steve pulls back and gives him a soft peck. “C’mon, let me take you to the door.” 

For all his trepidation at the beginning of the night, and his weird feelings going into it, Bucky actually had a really good time and is kind of sad to see the whole thing end. He lets Steve hover as he unlocks the front door and as it swings open, Steve yanks him in for one more searing hot kiss, pressing Bucky back into the door frame and holding him there with one hand on his hip and one on his neck. 

“I liked this,” Bucky says, running a hand down Steve’s arm, “I could do it again sometime.” 

Steve smiles, “how about Monday I make you dinner at my place.” 

Bucky bites his lip, “yeah, I’ll be good for you,” he promises, his voice low. And whatever reaction he thought he’d get out of Steve is nowhere near what he actually gets - which is to say that Steve’s gaze turns dark and hungry at once and he grips Bucky a little harder than before. 

“Fuck baby I know you will be. Text me later, hm?” 

With one last parting kiss to Bucky’s forehead he goes to the base of the steps and then waits until Bucky disappears inside and flips the lock and then Bucky watches from the window as he jogs back to the waiting car. His whole body is tingling with nervous energy from the whole night and he can’t decide if he wants to shower again, jerk off, or just collapse into bed and listen to some old ambient trance and take a muscle relaxer.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to @deisderium who is an enabler and a filthy pervert who I love. 
> 
> Thanks for all the encouragement. I hope you enjoy their second date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, you know what's wild? OPEN COMMUNICATION.

When Bucky wakes up on Sunday morning he sort of wonders if the whole night was just a fever dream. Granted he’s in the proper date clothes because he didn’t even change like the piece of garbage he really is but also, I mean, how would he know for sure. 

Digging around for his cell phone he squints at the screen to check the time, sees that it’s definitely 11:45am and then he notices …. The Messages. 

**CIA Daddy**  
Did you have a preference on dinner for Monday night? 

**CIA Daddy**  
Are you still asleep? … James. 

 

Bucky stares at the phone and blinks at the time stamps and then unlocks his phone to answer. 

 

 **Bucky**  
Someone kept me out past my bedtime. 

**CIA Daddy**  
As I recall, you were the one who wanted to stay up for dessert. 

**Bucky**  
Dinner started at 9:00pm what was I supposed to do! 

**CIA Daddy**  
Dinner started at 9 because you were too hungover to meet right after work. 

Bucky starts to type and then stops like five times before he gets his act together and finally ends up with. 

**Bucky**  
I like alfredo. 

**CIA Daddy**  
I see. 

**CIA Daddy**  
Do you like white wine?

 **Bucky**  
Of course. 

**CIA Daddy**  
Good, now go do your homework. 

Bucky groans and regrets that he ever bothered telling Steve that he was going to be buried in textbooks all day because now he probably won’t be able to get away with flirting with him the entire time. He just has that aura of “don’t try it”... put this on the cons list of flirting with a CIA agent then. Dragging himself out of bed, Bucky tucks his phone into his pocket to go get ready for what is lining up to be a truly exciting day. 

Nat is out at a yoga thing and Clint is just making a fresh pot of coffee when Bucky starts setting up at the table. 

“You came in late last night,” Clint says, pulling a second mug down for him. 

“Had a date,” Bucky says with a grin. 

“Hey! That’s my MAN! How was it?” Clint comes around for a high five as the coffee brews and Bucky shrugs. 

“I think it went okay, we’re having a second date Monday night I think.” 

“Fuckin’ proud of you man,” Clint says, slapping him on the shoulder, “you wanna tell me about the guy?” 

“Don’t wanna jinx it or anything,” Bucky says, setting his laptop up and then coming into the kitchen to start making his coffee, “he’s a little older, super hot, really generous… we haven’t talked about much except like, dumb first date stuff like sports and backgrounds.” 

“Yeah, let me know when you start getting into the good stuff,” Clint says, going for the coffee creamer. “We were thinking of ordering pizza tonight, you in?” 

“Oh fuck yeah,” Bucky says, topping up his mug, “get me Hawaiian with olives when you order -- I still feel like I’ve got like, residual hangover?” 

“That club was not fucking around with drink pours,” Clint groans, “even I felt tipsy on the way home.” 

“Okay well you’re a lightweight so that shouldn’t count.” 

“Pfft. Scuse me, see if I invite you to play video games with me today.” 

“Homework. Homework as far as the eye can see,” Bucky reminds him. 

“Ah, fuck -- fine, mind if I turn on Dragon Age then?” 

“Hell nah, get those levels.” 

Bucky throws himself into the dining room chair and sips his coffee gratefully, “I’ll put on my headphones if I can’t focus but I like the background noise.” 

“Cheers, bitch.” 

Clint drops onto the couch and that is Bucky’s Sunday - completely normal and good and not at all strange or out of the ordinary. He had a hot date the night before, he works on his current essay and eventually Nat joins them and reads a book while Clint powers through the HIssing Wastes. It’s a good time - their usual time. Bucky doesn’t even realize it’s clocking into 8pm until the pizzas are arriving and then he’s stretching and popping his back and checking his phone. 

**CIA Daddy**  
How’s the homework going? 

**Bucky**  
Just taking a dinner break before the final stretch. 

**CIA Daddy**  
Good boy. I’ll see you tomorrow James. 

**Bucky**  
:* Night. 

Bucky puts his phone down and can’t stop the way he’s blushing and the way his dick twitches with interest at the praise. Fuck! _Fuck_. He’s going to eat this pizza, finish his essay and then he’s going to go take a very cold shower and think about what he’s getting into because he’s starting to wonder if maybe he’s in over his head. 

*****

Bucky is prepared to see Steve that night but he kind of forgets that he also sees him at work, so it takes him by surprise when Steve comes in at his usual time and orders his usual drink. He’s good though, he keeps it casual and doesn’t try to get Bucky in trouble, just winks and leaves an extra tip and Bucky blushes because he can’t help it. He scribbles “hottest agent” on Steve’s cup and hopes they can talk about it later.

After work he runs to class and then things start to go downhill. Their ethics professor is out for blood apparently and wants an essay done by Wednesday’s class about interrogation and detention practices with regards to POW and it's not a long essay, just a five pager to discuss the overall themes they’re covering which means they’ll be doing a deeper dive into the topic later for a more in depth paper but it means he shouldn’t just fuck off all night at Steve’s place. He hesitates but then he sighs and takes his phone out already heading to the metro. 

**Bucky**  
They slammed us with a five page essay due Wednesday… I think I have to cancel. 

**Bucky**  
I’m so pissed I really wanted to see you. 

**CIA Daddy**  
Come over and I’ll help with homework then. 

**Bucky**  
You cannot be serious. 

**CIA Daddy**  
I already made dinner and I don’t mind. 

**Bucky**  
I mean… are you sure? 

**Bucky**  
LIke it’s not sexy or … 

**CIA Daddy**  
You really underestimate what gets me off. Where are you I’ll send a car? 

Bucky can’t help the bark of laughter but he sends Steve his location anyways and then swipes a hand over his face to try and wipe the blush off even though that’s not how it works. Fuck what the fuck. Why does this really get to him? 

About five minutes later a black car like the one the other night pulls up and the driver rolls down the window. 

“James?” 

“Yes sir,” Bucky answers standing up and heading to the back door before the driver can get out and get it for him. He’s not _that_ spoiled. 

He hops in and the driver looks back at him in the mirror. “I was told to stop anywhere you needed to before arriving at our destination. Did you need anything?” 

Bucky raises an eyebrow and sort of pats himself down thoughtfully, “not that I can think of. Thank you though, sir.” 

“Of course, we’ll be off then.” 

Bucky, pays attention to where they’re going and feels his blood pressure go up when they enter a certain part of the city that definitely costs more money than he currently has … maybe more than he will ever have. Then again he should have expected this. Eventually the car pulls up to a closed gate that swings open when the driver uses the call pad and then Bucky is getting out on a gravel drive. 

The gate closes behind him and he’s standing in front of a lovely two story home with a manicured lawn and everything is tasteful and nice and Bucky considers running right back out the gate after the car. 

“Hey, you gonna stand out there all day?” Steve calls from where he’s leaning against the open door. 

“I mean, maybe,” Bucky says, shouldering his bag and trying to look effortless. He smells like coffee badly covered up by cologne and there’s Steve in the door of his perfect house, wearing low slung joggers and a fitted dark shirt and some comfy looking socks and probably smelling like sex. 

“Well I’m not serving you dinner out here it’s too cold still, maybe in late April,” Steve stands back and holds the door, waiting for Bucky. 

Bucky walks up a little faster and when he gets close, Steve takes his bag and leans down for a kiss, just something chaste and gentle. It’s a hello, it’s sweet and Bucky’s skin is buzzing. 

“Hey, come on in, dinner’s almost ready,” Steve says as Bucky toes off his shoes. 

Whatever Bucky was expecting inside, it’s not what he gets. The exterior of the house is light with dark green accents and inside it’s all warm wood floors and clean wall colors, and it looks … well … cozy. Bucky was sort of expecting something grossly modern. Maybe because Steve just looks really put together and that just fits with the aesthetic, but instead there’s brown leather couches with a plaid throw over the back and deep navy and green throw pillows. The tv is on and running C-SPAN which Bucky kind of snorts at because God… of course. The whole place smells like garlic and everything delicious. 

“In here,” Steve calls, and Bucky follows his voice to a big, bright, open kitchen. In here it feels modern. White cabinets, stainless steel appliances, and there’s Steve in the middle, a towel hanging out of his pocket as he tosses some rapini and shrimp in a pan. “You want to eat at the table or at the bar?” Steve asks. 

“Table maybe? I feel like if I sit too close to you I’m gonna get distracted,” Bucky admits, hopping into one of the bar chairs and pulling the wine that’s set out and a glass towards himself. 

“Maybe we should sit at the bar then,” Steve winks at him and Bucky glows, pouring himself a little wine. 

“I might never get my homework done,” Bucky sips the wine and sighs into it. It’s a really good white, like way better than whatever $10 bottle they last bought at home. 

“Can’t have that,” Steve says, lifting a pot lid and then holding the spoon out to Bucky, “try this.” 

Bucky pushes forward and laps at the spoon and ‘hmms’ in appreciation, “s’good.” 

“Good,” Steve says, “it’s the sauce I made for the pasta. If you hated it I was going to throw the whole thing out and order pizza.” 

“Dramatic,” Bucky says with a laugh. 

“Have to keep you happy,” Steve counters. 

Bucky gives him a little cheers motion with his wine glass but he’s blushing again. He’s really enjoying this exchange and it actually keeps going. The easy conversation, the flirting, all of it. Steve serves dinner and it’s fucking delicious. They sit at the table together and Steve grills him about his paper and Bucky talks it through - tries to wrap his head around some of the concepts. Steve interjects with all the right questions, makes Bucky double back on himself and it’s nice. He hasn’t really had someone to do this with before because he never likes bothering Nat and Clint with his school work and he’s not really into the whole study group scene at the college. Nothing against them but he’s a little older than the other students and he always feels a little off when he shows up all ‘hello fellow youths!’. 

It’s so easy with Steve though, and when dinner is over he stands up and starts clearing the plates which Bucky tries to help with only to get rebuffed. 

“Ah-ah, sit down and let me do this. The sooner you finish putting together some of that reading list the sooner you can join me in the living room for something better.” 

Bucky bites his lip and smiles and Steve just nods, “also let me go grab you a book from my office.” 

Steve sets some plates down in the kitchen and disappears somewhere else into the house and when he comes back, Bucky is just getting his laptop booted back up. 

“I got you a few of them, and you’re welcome to take them home with you if you need to,” Steve says, setting the books down next to Bucky at the table and kissing into his hair. 

“You’re honestly too good for me,” Bucky mutters, grabbing the one on top. 

“Just good _to_ you,” Steve corrects, squeezing the back of his neck. “Let me know if I can help with anything else, hm?” 

Bucky tries to focus on the task at hand and at first it’s hard because he keeps glancing up and seeing Steve move around the kitchen or shuffle through the house doing normal things just existing. He eventually settles down and gets what he needs to done and just in time because all of a sudden Steve is crouching down close to him and kissing his temple. 

“You close to being done?” 

“Mm, yeah think I might wrap up for the night actually,” Bucky says, minimizing his last window and closing his laptop. 

“Good boy,” Steve says, slipping a hand down around his waist and squeezing. Bucky can’t help the shiver and he tips his face back for another kiss. 

“Dessert?” 

“Well I have tiramisu in the fridge,” Steve says conversationally, “how do you want it?” 

Bucky blinks at him and then a self-indulgent smile curves his lips, “in your lap.” 

Steve kisses him for the cheeky reply and then straightens up, “whatever you want,” and Bucky is on cloud goddamn nine. 

He follows Steve into the kitchen and carries their decaf coffee into the living room as Steve balances their plate of dessert. He settles back on the big sofa and then opens his arms and waits as Bucky slips into his lap. 

“Thanks for dinner,” Bucky says, making himself comfortable and turning Steve’s face towards him for a deeper, more intimate kiss than the one they had at the table. 

“You’re very welcome, ready for that dessert?” Steve asks, still kissing at Bucky and not really making a move to get the tiramisu involved but Bucky’s not pressed. 

“For whatever you want to give me.” 

Steve makes a low, pleased sound and Bucky files that away into his personal spank bank for another time. Honestly, if this whole thing blows up in his face he’s got enough fodder to get off on for at least the next five years minimum. Holy shit. 

But Steve leans back and pulls the plate around with the cakey dessert on it and spoons a bite off and holds it up for Bucky and watches him, “why don’t we talk about some more personal stuff since we’re alone?” 

“You mean the whole place isn’t bugged?” Bucky asks, taking the bite off the spoon and giving Steve a suspicious look. 

“Can neither confirm nor deny.” 

Bucky smiles and shrugs, runs a hand over Steve’s pec through his tee, “I like this, sitting on your lap and being hand-fed dessert.” 

“Figured you would,” Steve says, “what other things do you like?” 

“Is that in the general sense or in the ‘call me daddy’ sense?” Bucky asks, tapping the plate because he wants another bite. 

“Yes.” 

Steve scoops up another bite for him and Bucky takes it, but this time he grabs the spoon and holds it, making eye contact with Steve as he pulls it out slowly, so slowly, letting his lips catch on the shape so that Steve has to watch. 

“Mm I haven’t really met someone like you before that just gave me what I wanted,” Bucky says. There’s something in being coy, but there’s also something just as rewarding in being straightforward. “So I don’t uhm… really know what I’m doing?” 

Steve actually laughs a little at that and buries his face into Bucky’s shoulder and Bucky takes the break to steal the spoon and serve himself a bite of dessert. “Don’t laugh at me, asshole.” 

“M’not laughing at you, not how you think… it’s just God you’re really fucking cute, you know that?” Steve tips his head back and looks at Bucky who is sucking at the spoon and Bucky frowns. 

“I guess.” 

“Well stop guessing, you’re really cute and I want to spoil the shit out of you every time you so much as give me a sidelong look you know that?” 

Bucky can feel the heat in his face so he looks down and pokes at the tiramisu again until Steve takes the spoon back and gets a bite for himself. “I like taking care of people, it’s kind of my thing… and you just give into it so easily,” Steve says quietly. 

“Sort of like it when you do that,” Bucky replies, using a finger instead to swipe espresso-y whipped cream into his mouth. “I’m not… I mean I’ve heard about like, BDSM and full time arrangement stuff and I’m not into that. I don’t want you paying my bills or swooping in to save me… but…” 

Steve waits him out with a raised eyebrow and Bucky has to look away because that intense stare is a lot. “I like it when someone else knows what I like and takes control. When someone else cares for me and can just get me off and goes for it you know?” 

“You like being independent, but you want someone around who can spoil you just right?” Steve says, setting the spoon down and stroking over Bucky’s neck. “I get it.” 

Bucky worries over his bottom lip and glances at Steve suddenly nervous that maybe that’s not what Steve was looking for. For all he knows, Steve wants some 24/7 live-in slave and Bucky’s more of a casual type of thing. Well… sort of casual, sort of monogamy seeking? Shit can CIA agents have boyfriends? 

“So you’d be into being spanked but you want it gently and only when you’re being rewarded then, huh?” Steve teases, and Bucky can’t help the huff of laughter that comes out of him. 

“You caught me.” 

“Just when I think you can’t get any more charming and adorable…” Steve takes their half eaten plate away and sets it on the coffee table and grabs Bucky by the jaw, turning him in for a kiss that’s soft at first and then turns demanding in such a smooth easy way that Bucky doesn’t even realize it’s happening until he’s pulling away for air and gasping. 

“Is that okay?” Bucky asks. 

Steve just muffles a ‘yeah’ into his throat and kisses down into his collar, nipping and sucking until Bucky tilts his head back and threads his fingers into Steve’s hair and pulls. 

“Should I stop?” Steve asks, tongue tracing over a spot where he just grazed his teeth. 

“Nnnn no,” Bucky whines. 

“Can I leave marks?” Steve asks, already mouthing at the spot he’s probably after and Bucky just groans a ‘yes’ before Steve sets into his skin with a bite that has Bucky twitching and clutching at him hard. 

“Fuck!” Bucky squirms on his lap and keeps his head tilted back so Steve can get access to wherever he wants. Steve has one hand on his thigh and Bucky just melts into his hold and closes his eyes, waiting until Steve has enough before their mouths are back together and it’s a lot more filthy this time. 

“Please tell me,” Bucky pants, already twisting around, shoving at Steve’s hands until he can straddle him on the couch, “tell me we can fool around tonight.” 

Steve chuckles and grabs him by the hips, forcing them together and kissing him hard, “isn’t that what we’re doing now.” 

“Steeeevie,” Bucky whines, wrapping his arms around Steve’s shoulders and bringing their foreheads together, “you know what I mean.” 

“Do I?” Steve asks. “Baby I told you I want to take my time and savour it.” 

Bucky huffs, “I’m hearing you’re a cocktease.” 

Steve grabs him by the ass for that and rocks him forward, “keep talking like that and you’ll find out just how long I can make you wait.” 

The noise that Bucky makes is … something he’s not proud of and one that he won’t admit to under torture and he just buries his face into Steve’s shoulder and keeps rocking himself on Steve’s lap shamelessly. 

“Don’t…” Bucky begs, “I’ll be good,” and he doesn’t even know where it comes from but he just _wants_ to be. He wants to behave he wants to be good, he wants Steve to call him a good boy and reward him and get him off and kiss him. If this is some kind of weird holdover from the military where they drilled it into him to be obedient or whatever he’s going to be really mad but also he’d much rather serve like this… 

“Baby,” Steve soothes, trying to ease Bucky down, slow his hips and kiss him until he’s not so frantic and the high winding up feeling he has is more of a low simmer, “baby you’re already good.” And that makes Bucky feel some kind of way. He’s hot all over and panting close to Steve’s face, waiting for more of whatever Steve wants to give him. 

They stay on the couch in various positions the rest of the evening; finish the coffee and tiramisu and even watch an episode or two of Chef’s Table. They talk about the food on screen, Steve says he’ll try just about anything once and Bucky says they should make something together next time. Experiment. Steve kisses him whenever he asks, and sometimes just because. Keeps a hand on him or around him at all times and once or twice strokes over the little bruise on his throat just to see if it’s still there, if it’s as dark as he thinks it is. 

At around 11, Bucky is yawning and Steve apologizes for letting it get so late. He calls the car which Bucky has taken to calling the CIA Lyft and Steve gets him ready to go. He even packs some of the leftover food for Bucky to take for lunch and Bucky feels like he’s going to die it’s so cute. 

When he’s leaving, they’re waiting in the driveway by the gate and Steve has him wrapped in his arms. 

“There’s something I should tell you,” Bucky says, nosing at Steve’s jaw. 

“Hm?” Steve asks. 

“My friends call me Bucky, not James.” 

“Ah… a deception,” Steve teases. 

“I just wanted to make sure you were legit, first,” Bucky concedes. 

“That’s fair. Well, Bucky, as a concession to truth, my first name is really Steve and my last name is Rogers.” 

“Barnes,” Bucky supplies. “Isn’t it dangerous for me to have your last name?” 

“Maybe,” Steve says, “but I really like you and I don’t think you’ll use it against me. Besides, you were black ops you know what’s up.” 

He gives Bucky a crooked grin and Bucky kind of… he hasn’t ever had someone remind him of his work in a way that made him proud of what he did. It wasn’t all pulling a trigger and pointing and shooting. He had to do a lot of tactical and strategic thinking, fast calculations, and for once someone is acknowledging that he’s … well… smart. Most of the time he’s just ‘that kid who makes me coffee’ or ‘that Army wash up’ or ‘that dumb too-old grad student’ and he’s … he’s a little taken aback. In a good way. He feels appreciated. 

Jesus fuck. Is this what it’s like? To feel good about yourself? 

He pushes his face into Steve’s chest and hugs him as the gate beeps and starts to open. 

“C’mon baby,” Steve squeezes him back and rubs between his shoulder blades. As he sends Bucky off he tells him he’s going to be pretty busy the rest of the week but to leave Friday open and Bucky nods, trying not to seem desperate or anything. It’s just… he can’t wait to see this dumb guy again. 

There’s a quick kiss goodbye where Steve is leaning in the back seat and Bucky whispers a heated, ‘bye Daddy’ and Steve squeezes his thigh. 

“Text me when you get home.” 

Bucky nods and they pull away. 

It’s like stepping back into the real world from a fantasy and he’s almost disappointed when he gets back to his house and drags into the living room with his friends who are good people who he loves dearly. 

“Back late again?” Nat asks from where she’s watching something on the tv and surfing the web on her tablet. 

“Hot date part two~” Bucky says, trying to drum up enthusiasm he doesn’t feel. 

Natasha smiles back at him, “almost time for the sex date.” 

“Aw Nat come on…” Bucky groans, already turning towards his room, “that is -- no we are not talking about this.” 

“YOU’RE GONNA GET LAID BARNES. AND SOON!” she teases as he slams the door behind him theatrically. 

He tosses himself on his bed after changing into pajamas and takes out his phone. 

**Bucky**  
Made it home!

 **CIA Daddy**  
Thank you for checking in, sweetheart. If I’m out of touch the next few days it’s because of meetings alright. 

**Bucky**  
Yeah of course, no worries. 

**CIA Daddy**  
But I promise I’ll make it up to you Friday. 

**Bucky**  
Is it okay to text you between now and then?

 **CIA Daddy**  
Always. 

**Bucky**  
Even pictures? 

**CIA Daddy**  
Especially pictures. 

There’s a part of Bucky that is trying to maintain his chill but there’s also a part of him that’s definitely all about getting what he wants and seeing where he can push buttons, get what he wants, when he wants it and how fast. Just as he’s thinking about how he could take some hot selfies, maybe get himself off and send Steve some teasingly sexy pictures another message comes through. 

**CIA Daddy**  
We didn’t talk about it tonight but… would you be up for some rules to follow until Friday? Just for fun. 

Bucky’s mouth goes dry. 

**Bucky**  
What kind of rules? 

**CIA Daddy**  
How about some easy ones to start. No touching yourself. No getting off. 

The funny thing is, Bucky’s gone awhile without both of those things without meaning to just because he’s been in the zone of getting other things done, but now because it’s at the front of his mind it’s the only thing he wants to do and now he knows he can’t. Well, Steve has asked him not to and he has to choose whether or not he’s going to agree to it. 

**Bucky**  
Yeah… yeah I think I can do that. 

**Bucky**  
Is there a reward if I do? 

**CIA Daddy**  
Bucky, there are always rewards for good boys. 

**Bucky**  
Then I'll do anything to be good for you. 

**CIA Daddy**  
Fuck Bucky. You already are. Go to bed sweetheart. See you soon. 

**Bucky**  
Night.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is impatient. Bucky is sassy. 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Negotiation? EDGING?

It's playing with fire to do this, whatever it is they're doing, and maybe Bucky should work on figuring that out. On Tuesday and Wednesday Steve texts him a few times but he doesn't come in to get coffee. Their texts are mostly on the G rated spectrum but Bucky tries to send a few pictures when he can to get a reaction out of Steve. Nothing too explicit, all clothes-on but it's provocative and he loves when Steve texts back a “baby you look so good” or “can't wait to have my hands all over you again” in response. On Thursday he texts a little more but doesn't come back in to the shop and because Bucky is kind of a sap he makes Steve’s regular drink and writes “miss you” on it and drinks it himself while he's on break, checking his phone out of his locker and sitting outside so he can send Steve texts. 

**CIA Daddy**  
I know I said Friday but what are you doing tonight, sweetheart? 

**Bucky**  
I have class until 7 but then I'm free. 

**CIA Daddy**  
Do you want to come over? I don't have anything fancy planned, sadly. Just want to see you. 

**Bucky**  
Yeah of course. Pick me up from school? 

**CIA Daddy**  
I'll come get you myself. Don't want to wait. 

Bucky feels hot all over just reading the words and he does something he's never even considered before when he gets back from his break. 

“Hey P---uh, Iron Man?” 

“Yeah?” Peter looks up from where he's meticulously making new whipped creams for the evening rush. 

“Think I can leave an hour early? Carol is in today anyways… I have an errand to run.” 

Peter frowns and then shrugs, “as long as she's ok with it.” 

“I’ll double check.” 

Carol is their manager and she says that's not her real name but Bucky isn't … Well it's written in quotation marks on her name tag and she's kind of intimidating so Bucky is too scared to ask if that's true or not. She's like this absolute rock star that he loves and respects and fears. So to be honest if she says her code name is Carol then whatever. Who is he to question a god? She ends up letting him off since he rarely asks for personal time and at the end of the day they aren’t going to be that slammed without him there. 

He races home between work and class and showers, making sure he doesn’t smell like the inside of an espresso machine and then hurries to class. It’s like torture to sit through and he hates saying that because Professor Rhodes is one of his favourites but Bucky really wants to be somewhere else. Still he knows Steve would tell him to focus so he grits his teeth and works through it. The lecture is engrossing once he gets into it. They’re onto a section on maritime law and legality around prisoners in international waters and he’s intensely focused so that when they’re dismissed he’s flooded with adrenaline. Outside those doors is Steve just waiting for him. He’s going to be here to pick Bucky up with their dumb little CIA Lyft and then they’re gonna go home and make out and hnngh fuck he’s been looking forward to this all week. 

Bucky packs up slow, trying to calm himself down and then when he gets outside there are a few people standing around and staring. Idling at the curb is a newish Jaguar F-Type and … oh. 

Steve leans against the driver side door in jeans and a hoodie and Bucky feels his stomach bottom out a little. Shit that’s his … whatever they are. Steve waves and smiles at him and Bucky jogs over, trying to tune out the background noise of the other students as Steve wraps an arm around him and gives him a sweet hello kiss. 

“Hey Buck,” Steve says, pushing Bucky’s hair back out of his face. 

“You drove,” Bucky points out. 

“Thought I would show off and be insufferable. Besides it’s gratifying having everyone see my hot young college boyfriend come running up to my sports car after class, really does things for my ego,” Steve teases. 

“Oh my God,” Bucky laughs, shoving at Steve’s hand around his waist, “I’m 28 thank you.” 

“And I’m 38 so I still get to have a little fantasy stop hurting my feelings,” Steve reels him in again for another kiss and Bucky let’s him because he can’t deny this dumb cutie. 

“Yeah yeah, come on I’m hungry and I want to get your clothes off,” Bucky pulls himself free and goes to the passenger side and then pauses. There in his seat are two dozen roses with a little card and he doesn’t… “are these for me?” 

Steve picks them up so Bucky can sit down and then he’s laying them back in Bucky’s lap. “Yeah baby, all yours.” 

Steve puts the car in drive and Bucky tries to hide his face behind the blooms as he fishes the card out to read it. 

_Good boy._

Bucky feels like liquid honey, warm and melty and so good. He reaches out and lays a hand on Steve’s thigh and squeezes. 

“Thank you.” 

He sees the corner of Steve’s eyes crinkle and Steve’s lips quirk up. 

Back at Steve’s house, they go in through the garage, just somewhere new for Bucky to catalog in Steve’s house. As soon as they get inside though, Steve is cornering Bucky up against the wall, flowers, schoolbooks and all. 

“Baby,” Steve hums, just before he kisses Bucky, and it’s not just their mouths brushing it’s full body - it’s Steve pressing up against him, and holding him in place from hip to chest. “Did you have a good week?” he asks, pulling away and stroking a hand down Bucky’s side. 

“It was okay,” Bucky says, dropping his books so he can free up one hand and pull Steve in by his shirt. “It’s better now.” 

“You sweet thing,” Steve purrs, he noses into Bucky’s throat and kisses him soft before pulling away, “lets put these flowers in water and then let’s order some food in and you and I can decide what we want to do.” 

Bucky snorts, “uhm, I want you to do me, obviously.” 

Steve shakes his head and gives him a look over his shoulder, “we’ll see,” he says. 

“It’s not a no, then?” Bucky checks in. 

“We’ll see,” Steve reiterates, pulling down a vase and running water into it and holding his hand out for Bucky’s flowers. 

Bucky hops up on the opposite side of the breakfast bar and hands them over, making himself comfortable and propping his chin in his hand. 

“Can I ask you something? It’s not.. It’s not important really but it kind of… I don’t know.” 

“Of course,” Steve says, opening drawers and pulling out some take away menus. “Baby you can ask me anything any time you want.” He sets a couple of Thai menus down for Bucky to look through and Bucky relaxes. 

“That.. one day at work when I wrote ‘Gay? (pls)’ on your cup… you just straight up said ‘BYE’ … did .. what was it I …” 

Steve freezes and looks up at him, “I was saying ‘bi’ like bisexual oh -- oh Buck-- Bucky sweetheart--” 

“Oh mY GOD!” 

Bucky cringes and Steve covers his mouth to stifle a laugh and Bucky covers his face. 

“I thought you were! No never mind it doesn’t matter - it -- oh my _god_ ,” Bucky puts his face on the counter with a groan and Steve comes around the counter with: 

“You’re really cute, you were out the next couple of days after that, I remember, you weren’t avoiding me, were you?” Steve asks. 

“No, no I was actually sick,” Bucky muffles into his arms. “I mean I definitely was wallowing too.” 

“I didn’t know I upset you with that, hey --” 

Bucky tries to pull away, embarrassed and trying to hide it. He’s never very good at hiding his emotions off his face and this is just another glaring example of that. Steve nudges him around until Bucky is facing him and he stands between his legs on the swiveled chair and runs his hands over Bucky’s thighs.

“It was stupid, I was just disappointed that I didn’t have a shot with the hot guy at work it was superficial,” Bucky says. 

“Stop, it wasn’t stupid,” Steve says, squeezing a little, “it’s not stupid to feel disappointed, it’s not stupid to feel any emotion.” 

“I--” Bucky flounders and still can’t quite look at him, “I mean it worked out so it’s fine it was just… yeah.” 

“Would it help if I told you that I’m interested in you?” Steve asks. 

“It wouldn’t hurt.” 

“I’m really interested in you,” Steve says, “in everything you do.” 

“I guess,” Bucky admits quietly. 

Steve reaches up and tips Bucky’s face up towards his, “look at me baby. I want you.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. And I’m sorry that you were inadvertently hurt thinking that I didn’t care, or that I was blowing you off. I wouldn’t do that to you.” 

Bucky rubs his hands over his own thighs and feels ridiculous, “I know you weren’t trying to hurt me… it’s .. it’s okay.” 

“Let’s get some dinner and relax, hm?” Steve pulls Bucky to standing and points at the menus. Bucky picks up the one he wants and then wrinkles his nose. 

“You pick.” 

“Love when you do that,” Steve admits, ducking his head and pressing a slow, chaste kiss to Bucky’s lips. It’s charming and sweet and Bucky sighs, melting a little into it, feeling relieved and wanted, hell… even relaxed. “Go pick something to watch then, get comfortable.” 

Steve nudges him towards the couch and Bucky goes. He can hear Steve calling in an order in the other room but then he’s joining him on the couch and curling up with him. They put on Chef’s Table where they left off and Steve runs fingers through Bucky’s hair, and it’s nice to just enjoy each other’s company. 

“You said before you weren’t really sure what you were doing - what _we_ were doing,” Steve says carefully, “but that you liked what we had done so far. Have you done anything like this before?” 

“I mean I called a couple of guys ‘daddy’ in bed but it was always playful or kind of complimentary,” Bucky says, looking thoughtful if not confused. 

“How so?” Steve asks. 

“Like, I’d say ‘ooh daddy, look at you!’ or something, but it didn’t seem like it was a role they’d take on. I’d just tell them they were a hot daddy and that was it,” Bucky shrugs, “they never changed how they acted, never did anything differently.” 

Steve looks thoughtful and nods, “so it was never any kind of arrangement, or any kind of title.” 

“No. I don’t think I realized how much I meant it when I told you ‘earn it’ that day…” 

They both smile and Steve brushes Bucky’s hair back as he talks, “I was a little surprised when you put it on my coffee cup. I was already interested in you but then you just came out of the gate and nailed one of my kinks head on.” 

“So you like being a … a what? A daddy? What does that mean really?” Bucky asks.

“I said before I liked taking care of people, and to me that’s what that role is. It’s not about punishment or being a parent figure… that’s not my scene,” Steve strokes over Bucky’s side and Bucky shivers at the touch, “it’s more about... I want to help and I want to be there for you, and I know I can be a little … hm.. Not overbearing with attention? But I think I give more of it than some people are comfortable with.”

“I like it,” Bucky admits, “I’ve …I haven’t always gotten a lot of attention. And I guess I haven’t been with someone who really was like you?”

“Like me how?”

“Did the things you do for me or want to do for me and made me feel good about it. I mean picking me up and making me dinner when you know I have homework for a second date? Like… come on that is the least sexy thing ever.”

“I think it’s sexy that you’re smart,” Steve says, “I think it’s sexy that you work hard and that you want to better yourself and you aren’t afraid to go after what you want. And i’m going to do whatever I can to support that.”

Bucky turns red and doesn’t know what to say so he just kind of shrugs 

“Do you not like that?”

“No I do it’s .. no one .. I don’t date people who tell me I’m smart.” 

Steve just stares at him and then hitches him closer, “like you don’t want to date people who think you’re smart?” 

“No I hide it from them because I don’t want them to know or feel intimidated by it. 

“Do I come across as someone who is going to be intimidated by you being smart?”

“I … don’t guess so.”

“Well I’m not. I like it.”

Bucky looks down between them and nods, “yeah I’m starting to get that.” 

“Do _you_ like it though?” 

“I don’t know how to deal with it but yeah, it’s kind of nice to feel like someone sees me and appreciates me for who I am,” Bucky admits quietly. 

“Good,” Steve says, tipping Bucky’s face up and kissing him, “you’re incredibly smart and fucking good looking on top of that…. Then you go and call me daddy… honestly…” he shrugs helplessly and noses at Bucky’s jaw, “you’re the total package.” 

“You’re the worst,” Bucky laughs softly, pushing at him. 

“I’m serious,” Steve insists, “and I want to know you’re okay with it. With what we’re doing - all along the way.” 

“What does that mean?” 

“It means that if you ever feel like something is too much or too far, we don’t have to do it. Don’t do something just to make me happy. I like experimenting, I like making you smile, I love it when you blush and try and pretend you’re not pleased by something.” 

“Je _sus_ fuck _off_ ,” Bucky whines. 

“No. Won’t.” Steve hauls him close and kisses into his hair, “let me make you happy, let me make you feel good, but don’t ever worry about letting me down if you don’t want something. Promise?” 

“Yeah… yeah I promise,” Bucky says. “Can I… can I ask for something in return?” 

“Of course.” 

“I know your … like I know what your job is sort of I mean… hello,” Bucky laughs and rolls his eyes, “but like, if anything happens to you…you’ll tell me won’t you? As much as you can? Or let me be there for you?” 

“Is that what you want?” Steve asks, brushing the hair back from Bucky’s face. 

“Yeah. I know you can’t tell me what you’re doing when you’re away but when you come back from stuff… I know what it’s like to be on an op and come back to base or whatever and be alone and I … this is dumb but I don’t want that for you and I’d worry or something.” 

Which feels stupid because they haven’t known each other that long and they just started this casual dating thing they’re doing but it’s the truth. It’s like when Clint or Nat are gone for a few days and come back looking haggard and all they say is “work” and Bucky makes them tea and cookies and kind of frets without being too overbearing because he knows it’s their job but he’s still concerned. And whatever it is that Steve does in the agency… well… he’s going to worry about him too now. Even if all they pan out to is just friends .. he really likes the guy. 

“Then we’ll work something out. I don’t want to put you in danger by creating a tell where potential outsiders know I’m out because you’re on notice and that kind of thing, but… we’ll find a way to make it work, to make it okay for you.” 

Bucky relaxes into Steve’s hold and didn’t realize he’d been holding on to that anxiety until it’s gone. He curls into Steve’s chest and settles down, lets Steve hold him there and they just settle. Steve mentions that there’s a hockey game on later but Bucky opts for more Chef’s Table so he can keep this nice calm evening going. He just wants to relax. 

The food arrives not long after and Steve gets plates out and they spread it out over the coffee table and it feels kind of decadent to be in this beautiful, expensive house eating take out on the couch but it’s perfect. 

In between episodes and bites of food Steve asks about what Bucky likes and doesn’t like and he circles back around to the rules he brought up last weekend. Their food is mostly done and Bucky is getting antsy, just thinking about Steve giving him permission to do something makes sparks lick up his spine and he’s all in. 

“Did you like the ones I gave you?” Steve asks. 

“Yeah,” Bucky stretches out and they reorder their limbs until they’re laying down together, curled up on the big sofa. “Do you like giving me rules?”

Steve smiles, “I like thinking about you doing something just for me. That you’re going through the day and in the back of your mind you’ve got this little thing reminding you that there’s something you have to do for me. Or not do in this case.” 

“That any time you get hard you know you can't take care of it, or that you choose not to because you want to be good for me,” Steve groans and Bucky can feel the heat all over his body just talking about it. 

“Yeah…” Bucky noses at Steve and waits to be kissed, letting Steve take control of it out of the gate. Giving in to that demanding press of lips, to the way he sweeps his tongue in and dips Bucky back a little to force his mouth open further. Bucky grabs at him wherever he can and moans, shifting to slide a leg over Steve’s and whimpering when Steve’s thigh is brushing his half hard dick. 

“I can’t wait to see you tomorrow,” Steve says, teeth grazing over Bucky’s bottom lip. 

“Why wait until tomorrow?” 

Bucky blinks slowly and rolls his hips, lets Steve know how much he wants it now, how much he’s ready right this minute but Steve just tsks at him and then nudges his thigh higher, giving Bucky more friction. 

“Tomorrow,” Steve says, voice a low growl, “tomorrow I don’t have to go easy, I can leave you aching and sore because you don’t have work or class after…” 

Bucky shudders and grabs harder at Steve with a whimper and shamelessly starts to ride his thigh. Because oh fuck oh holy _fuck_. It’s everything he wants and then some. 

“Yeah— fuck Steve I want—“ 

“What do you want baby?” Steve asks, one of his big hands spreading on Bucky’s hip and helping him set a slow, mindless pace that has Bucky dizzy with need. 

“Want you. Want to feel you. I want to —-“ Bucky bites his lip and buries his face in Steve’s chest, hands flexing against air as he fights down the urge to just take what he wants. 

“Want me to spread you open and fuck you?” Steve whispers, “finger that tight little hole open until it’s wet and loose for my cock? Use my mouth on you? Tongue fuck you until you’re screaming for it? I can’t lie… I’ve been thinking about eating that sweet little ass of yours out.” 

Bucky feels like someone has punched him in the chest and he makes an embarrassingly high pitched noise, arching into Steve. 

“Yeah— oh fuck! I want you inside me.”

“Tell me when you’re close, baby,” Steve says, voice low and sexy and Bucky could get off on just his dirty talk and one day he kind of wants to do just that.

“I’m close,” Bucky starts panting, “I’m so close, Steve i’m so close--“

“Stop.”

Steve grabs his hips and stills him so firm and hard and Bucky whimpers, stares up at him with big eyes, all glassy and dazed. It’s almost startling being jerked back from how close he was and he feels like a live wire. 

“Fuh-huck,” Bucky shakes through an aftershock and stares up at Steve taking deep, heaving breaths. 

“You did so good for me, doll. Do you want to go again?” Steve asks, petting Bucky’s hip, a crooked smile on his face. “Or do you think you’ll come?” 

Bucky swallows, “gimme a minute.” 

Steve kisses him, “such a good boy,” he praises, “you know you won’t come tonight… you’re going to get close for me, but you won’t come.” 

The noise Bucky makes is sorrowful, wrung right out of him as the realisation hits him. He paws at Steve’s chest and Steve just hitches him close again, giving him the pressure and friction he’s craving. But now that he knows he isn’t going to get off it’s so frustrating, it’s torture, it’s terrible… 

“Daddy,” Bucky breathes out. 

“Mmm, there it is,” Steve hums, 

“Again,” Bucky breathes, tipping his head back and rolling his hips, chasing that feeling, the winding up of almost coming, the way it fires at his nerves and has him almost out of his mind with want. 

“Gorgeous boy,” Steve strokes up and down Bucky’s back and keeps guiding him into just the right spot. 

“Yeah… yeah… _yeah_ ,” Bucky pants, spreading his legs and sliding his leg further up around Steve’s hips. “C’mon.” 

Steve digs his fingers in and controls it for Bucky, giving him a little but never too much and only just enough to keep him in a razor thin edge. “ What does my sweet boy want?” 

Bucky knows he wants to come, he wants to get off, he wants to have Steve push him down on the couch and fuck him through it until his back hits the floor but he already knows that’s not going to happen. But beyond that Bucky wants to be good, he wants to hear Steve tell him he’s a good boy, he wants Steve to suck that mark back into his throat… 

“Daddy,” Bucky moans, pulling Steve in with a low sound. 

“M’right here, Buck,” Steve kisses him, deep and thorough, and Bucky can feel how this effects him too, how much he has to be holding back. 

“No,” Bucky growls, “s’what I want, I want Daddy,” he blinks slowly at Steve and shudders when he feels his dick twitch against Steve’s hip, “want you to give me whatever I’ve earned.” 

The noise Steve makes is feral as he flips Bucky under him and pins him so fast that Bucky is dizzy at the movement. 

“UHN!” 

“Sweetheart,” Steve breathes, moving until he’s between Bucky’s spread thighs and rocking down on him so that Bucky can feel how hard he is, “you have no idea what I want to do to you. You’re such a good boy for me, so responsive, so _obedient_... fuck.” 

Bucky threads his fingers into Steve’s hair and tugs him down into another heated kiss, wrapping a leg around his hips to try and keep Steve down on top of him. 

“Yeah, fuck.. I want you,” Bucky whines, “I want you to fuck me, Daddy.” 

“And I’m going to,” Steve promises, “but not tonight sweetheart, I want you to be able to take it easy after, want to give you everything you want.” 

Bucky is winding up all over again and he gasps out a ‘stop -- close CLOSE’ and Steve slows them right back down again. He eases Bucky into that sweet, easy headspace where everything feels good and he’s just floating, drifting and turned on but he’s not desperate and on edge anymore. 

“I think,” Steve says, kissing and nuzzling at Bucky, “that might be enough.” 

Bucky makes a noise of complaint and Steve shushes him back down, “no baby, I want you to feel good tomorrow and not be too overtaxed, hm?” 

“You’re really gonna wear me out, hm?” Bucky asks, intending to be cheeky but he’s not prepared for the way that Steve groans and presses down against him, kisses him so deep and filthy that Bucky is breathless and clawing at him to get him closer. 

“You have no idea,” Steve moans, thumb tracing along Bucky’s jaw, down his throat and sighing into his mouth. “Baby I’m going to take you apart.” 

Bucky says he needs to get home because he has work in the morning and he didn’t bring anything. Steve kisses him and kisses him until the car pulls up and even then he’s tucking Bucky into the backseat and giving him another kiss. 

“Can’t help myself,” he says, tucking a hair behind Bucky’s ear. 

Bucky blushes and keeps watching Steve, the way he moves, he’s confident without being overbearing but so in control. He makes him feel hot all over and he’s already dying for it to be tomorrow night. 

“Be good Buck, I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Bucky waves and Steve closes the door gently. 

The ride seems longer than ever and when Bucky gets home he drags himself into bed, tired but not wanting to sleep. He wants to be wrapped up with Steve across town, wants to be at his every whim… fuck it can’t be tomorrow soon enough.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday friday gotta get laid on F R I D A Y
> 
> some quick warnings for this chapter: 
> 
> fucking nasty sex.   
> mention of nightmare!  
> potential symptoms of: subdrop? 
> 
> What will our sweet babies do next. ESCANDALO!~

His shift on Friday is predictably a disaster. 

It’s Friday so of course everyone is trying to cram everything they need to get done before the weekend into 8 hours and why be civil when they can take it out on hourly coffee pushers. Nothing goes right, people are cranky; he gets a burn on his hand from the steam wand and in class he gets behind on the notes because he’s trying to cross reference something in a book and his professor calls him out. It’s … not great. He’s in a terrible head space and he kind of just wants to go home and crawl right back in bed. All that enthusiasm he had when he went to bed the night before is gone. Steve said he’d pick him up after school and Bucky figures he should text and cancel but now he’s got that feeling in the pit of his stomach that he knows is just obligation. Steve wouldn’t mind, he’s sure of it but in that negative part of his head he talks himself out of it and decides to just force a face to face confrontation. He can tell Steve when he sees him that he's not in the mood or something like that. 

Bucky slumps out of class and Steve’s car is idling outside the courtyard and Bucky hitches his bag up and heads that direction. When he opens the door, there’s a bottle of water and some cookies that look like they’re from a fancy bakery and Bucky just says ‘Thanks’ with a half smile and sinks into the soft leather seat with a sigh. 

“Long day?” Steve asks, reaching over and squeezing his knee.

“MMhmm,” Bucky hums, tipping his head back and closing his eyes. The cookies lay in his lap untouched and Steve chatters a little next to him but Bucky can’t even pay attention. He’s so wrapped up in his own head and feels miserable. All the normal sarcastic little quips and sass he throws about just die in his throat and he hates it. Like a rock in his shoe that he can’t get out, it’s irritating and he’s just a ball of disdain. 

“You okay?” Steve asks finally, taking one hand off the shifter and reaching out to trace over Bucky’s jaw. 

“It… sure,” Bucky says quietly, leaning into the touch without even realizing he’s doing it. 

“Sweetheart,” Steve says softly, wrapping his hand around the back of Bucky’s neck and running his fingers into Bucky’s hair. “I’m gonna take such good care of you.” 

Bucky relaxes under that feeling, can’t explain why but it just makes him feel safe and he can tell when the car turns into Steve’s drive and then idles into the garage. He only opens his eyes because Steve leans over and kisses his cheek, helps him unbuckle his seatbelt. 

They had plans, hot, sexy, incredible plans and Bucky feels like he’s ruining all of them. Except when he goes to drag his sorry carcass out of the Jag, Steve is there, helping him up, pulling Bucky into his arms and hugging him right there in the garage. 

“Why don’t we change things up a little?” Steve murmurs, nosing into Bucky’s hair, “let’s start you out in a nice, hot bath. I’ll make us dinner while you relax.” 

“I don’t …” Bucky starts to say and then swallows because he feels like an idiot but Steve just nods encouragingly. “I kind of don’t want to be alone.” 

Steve’s arm wraps tighter around him and he kisses near Bucky’s ear making a low noise, “then fuck dinner - I’ll order something in and climb in that bath with you.” 

Bucky sags and lets Steve take his weight for a minute and then they shuffle into the house. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to -- everyone was just an asshole today,” Bucky admits, kicking his shoes off in the mud room as Steve takes his sweater and hangs it up. 

“Don’t be sorry,” Steve says, threading their fingers together and pulling Bucky towards what is probably the master bedroom, “it’s not your fault people are assholes. That’s on them.” 

“I know but I shouldn’t let it get to me.” 

“No,” Steve pauses at the door and gives Bucky a look, “people shouldn’t be dicks. If they are, you have every right to be hurt. What did I tell you about it being okay to feel things?” 

Bucky’s face heats up and he frowns a little, “this is a stupid emotion,” he mutters darkly and Steve laughs a little, pulling him into his arms. 

“Nothing you feel is stupid.” 

Bucky who was wholly unprepared for Steve’s house to begin with is even less prepared for his master bedroom and en suite. He was pretty sure he was getting with the program and could deal with whatever was thrown his way but then there’s this huge California King size bed with dark navy and green sheets and duvet and everything in the room is soft grey woods that make it feel like a foggy oceanside dream. 

The bathroom that’s attached is massive with a double vanity and a shower that Bucky is going to revisit in the future just because and a bathtub that’s big enough for both him and Steve to fit in comfortably. It might even have jets in it. 

Steve reaches down to twist the plug in place and then starts to run the water before leaning over and kissing Bucky’s cheek, “take off your clothes or I can take them off for you.” 

Which is when it occurs to Bucky for the first time that he’s about to be naked in front of Steve. 

“Uh…” 

Steve gives him an encouraging smile and Bucky wishes he were that sexy, confident son of a bitch he was when he wrote ‘Daddy’ on Steve’s cup, or even the one who showed up to their first date and was kind of a dick but at least had his shit together. 

“Can… listen can I get in first and then… I don’t want to … I feel kind of exposed,” Bucky stutters out. The look that he’s expecting is one of annoyance but instead when he manages to look up at Steve’s face, Steve is just giving him this soft look and nodding. 

“Of course, I’ll be just outside, I’ll grab a robe, let me know when you get in and want me to join you.” 

Bucky’s mouth works for a minute like he can’t believe it was that easy and then he hops up and pulls Steve down for a kiss, “thanks.” 

Steve beams at him and gives him a squeeze before stepping back out and Bucky stares at the giant bath. God it echoes in here the room’s so big. He takes off the rest of his clothes in a hurry, not wanting to keep Steve waiting and folds them up, setting them off to the side before going back to the bath and sinking into the half-full tub. The water is just this side of hot and Bucky sucks in his breath as it drags over him.

Bucky curls in on himself, hiding a little and calls out, “I’m ready. I think.” 

He hears a chuckle and then Steve is stepping in, wrapped in a bathrobe and looking so fucking good that Bucky shorts out a little. There’s work Steve, casual Steve, and now there’s this sex Steve in front of him and Bucky leans a little out of the tub, perching his chin on one hand and biting his lip. 

“Oh but _you_ wanna watch?” Steve sasses, reaching out to dim the overhead lights. 

“Yeah, a little,” Bucky says. And it is kind of gratifying to see Steve go pink over the apples of his cheeks. Still, he plays along, shrugging out of his robe and tossing it close to the edge of the tub before slipping in right behind Bucky and budging him around until Bucky can settle back against Steve’s chest. 

It’s so … it’s so normal and so easy and Steve doesn’t make a big deal out of it or make it weird and Bucky isn’t used to someone treating him like he matters. Like he’s competent. Like he means something. It makes the stress of the day start to melt out of him and all he can think about is how good it feels to be _here_ and that he's so lucky to have this. 

“Come here,” Steve says, wrapping an arm around Bucky’s chest and drawing him back to just relax. Steve lets the water run until the bath is most of the way full and then he pushes the faucet off with his foot, groaning and leaning back as the water sloshes a little around them. 

Bucky lays his head back on Steve’s shoulder and closes his eyes. “Did you mean it when you said I was your boyfriend?” 

Steve kisses at Bucky’s naked shoulder and squeezes him closer, “that’s what I think of you as.” 

“It hasn’t been very long though,” Bucky worries aloud, reaching up and holding the arm around his chest. “I mean I’ve been flirting with you for weeks but we only went on a date a week ago.” 

“Mm,” Steve makes a considering noise and Bucky feels him stroke a thumb along his ribs just at the water line. “It’s not something I want to pressure you into. I was mostly using it to signal that I wasn’t seeing anyone else but you.” 

“You only wanna be _my_ daddy,” Bucky says, smiling a little and getting some of that confidence back under Steve’s attention. 

“Yeah I do,” Steve _purrs_ and Bucky melts back into him. Steve’s big hands sweep over his torso and settle under the water, dragging Bucky back until he can feel Steve’s half-hard cock press against his ass. “Where is it okay to touch you?” 

“Anywhere,” Bucky breathes out, arching into Steve’s touch and trying to twist back so he can get a kiss. And he means it - wants to have Steve touching him all over making him feel wanted and safe. 

“Tell me if it’s too much,” Steve says, kissing into Bucky’s shoulder, along his neck, “if you want me to stop, anything.” Steve’s hands spread, one going up Bucky’s chest, thumbing over his nipples, the other reaching down and petting over Bucky’s thigh until he spreads his legs and then Steve is cupping Bucky’s cock, stroking him off. It’s not enough to get off on but the friction in the water feels incredible and Bucky wants more of it, more of everything. 

“Nngh!” Bucky writhes and squirms, grabs whatever slippery skin of Steve’s he can find and feels himself already starting to get hard. 

“Just relax, baby,” Steve reminds him, “I promise we’ll do everything you want but I just want to make you feel good.” 

And Bucky believes him, knows that he’s going to make good on his word because Steve always does - Steve always does what he says and makes Bucky feel amazing. Not just like this, not just the touching and the kissing but all the compliments and the things he says, all of it feels good. His boyfriend…. Bucky is still reeling. Plus that’s only if Bucky says yes - he can turn it all down, he has all the control here, he can tell Steve no and he knows Steve will respect it. 

It’s heady. 

Steve is touching him under the water, kissing him, being equal parts gentle and firm in all the right places and Bucky starts to rock his hips; wanting to give friction and get friction. 

“Fuck, doll,” Steve sighs, grabbing Bucky’s hip with one hand and rocking him back until Bucky can feel Steve’s cock filling out and slipping into the crack of his ass, rubbing just right. It makes Bucky pant, makes him squirm and angle his hips and Steve just squeezes at him harder. “Can I, nnn fuck Bucky,” Steve growls that time and Bucky feels fingers at his hole teasing and he gasps. 

“Yeah --yeah in me--” Bucky puts his head back on Steve’s shoulder so he can mouth at the underside of his jaw and Steve rubs at his hole, driving Bucky crazy with it until he’s working a finger in with just the water. Bucky is splashing a little with how much he’s twitching and writhing but Steve doesn’t seem to care. He’s burying his finger into Bucky with a sigh. 

“Baby I want to eat this little hole _out_ ,” Steve moans, turning his head to kiss into Bucky’s hair. “I don’t even think I have the patience to get to it tonight but fuck it’s so tight for me… want to lick you open and make you scream for it.” 

Bucky has such a sudden rush of blood that he feels dizzy as he moans and squeezes down around Steve’s finger and can feel his own dick twitch in response. “Daddy!” he grits out, squirming in the water until he’s shoving Steve away from him and turning around - water be damned. He’s on all fours in the massive tub and Steve is flushed from the heat of the water and from they’ve been doing and Bucky licks his lips. 

“I think I’m ready,” Bucky says, shifting so he can slide a hand up Steve’s thigh. “I wanna go to bed.” 

Steve just nods and starts to get out first and then he holds the bathrobe open so that Bucky can step into it without having to feel too exposed which makes him blush. It’s so fucking cute and thoughtful. Even if they’re going all of ten feet to fuck, Steve cares enough to respect him and Bucky melts. 

Steve helps him up on the bed, pulling the belt loose on the robe when Bucky’s comfortable and then kissing him until he’s moaning and rocking up into air. They don’t end up making it to rimming which Bucky is kind of sad about but then again he’s barely making it through Steve fingering him so maybe he should be grateful for not getting anything more intense or he would’ve already come all over the sheets. 

They fumble around, kissing and touching as Steve goes for lube and condoms and Bucky laughs when Steve complains about them being just out of reach and how he has to stop touching Buck to get them. It's fun and playful and hot at the same time. The thing about prep work is that Bucky always just did it himself out of necessity or whoever he was with did it in a rush to get it over with and onto the main event - he’s never had it be done to him so thoroughly. Steve takes his time with it and makes it so good that Bucky could get off like this. The way Steve uses his hands, spreads Bucky open and makes him keen for it; Bucky knows Steve has two fingers in and he takes his time about it, working them slow and careful, making sure that Bucky is nice and slick and stretched around him. 

“I want -- Daddy,” Bucky groans and then almost cries out when Steve eases a third finger into him, making him stretch even more. He thinks it’s a little overly ambitious but then again he could feel Steve’s dick earlier and he knows he’s not small. 

“Shh, just a little more sweetheart,” Steve kisses him quiet and crooks his fingers until he’s rubbing right on Bucky’s prostate and Bucky almost sobs into Steve’s mouth. “You are gorgeous, you know that?”

Bucky just stares up at Steve in a daze and watches him pull his fingers free and slick a condom on, jerking himself off a few times. 

“Nngh, want it,” Bucky whines, reaching out and trying to grab for Steve, “stop teasing…” 

“Let me look at you,” Steve says, voice low and hot. It makes Bucky’s already frayed nerves absolutely shred out and he does exactly what Steve tells him to. He spreads his legs, thighs hitched up and then groans as he feels Steve’s cock angle down and nudge at his loose, wet hole. 

“Please,” Bucky pants, “please I want -- please I’ve been such a good boy--” 

“Oh sweetheart,” Steve rocks forward and Bucky whimpers as the thick head of Steve’s cock breaches him. That first little sting and burn -- but Steve just holds him open and keeps pressing in. “Sweetheart you’ve been perfect for me,” Steve praises, sinking in at a snail’s pace. “My good, sweet boy… fuck you’re so hot and tight for me.” 

Bucky squeezes around him reflexively and shudders on the bed, stretches his arms up over his head and pushes on the headboard so he can bear down on Steve. He’s big, bigger than any of Bucky’s last few one night stands or relationships and God it feels really good to be stretched full. 

“Uhn-- want .. I want--” Bucky gasps and squirms and Steve just reaches up with one hand snatching his wrists up and pinning them to the bed. 

“Just take it,” Steve says, pulling back out and kissing Bucky so soft and gentle. “I said I was gonna be good to you. Now let me.” 

And weirdly, Bucky doesn’t know what to do with that. He thought this was going to be rough and hurried and fast and frantic. He thought Steve was going to have him on all fours and just rail him into next week - and maybe he still will? But this, the way he just eases into Bucky, gently rocking into him, making him shake apart with just the easiest touch, it’s too much. 

Bucky huffs out a breath and tilts his head back, groaning when immediately Steve mouths at his throat - that rough beard scraping at the sensitive skin. 

“Daddy,” Bucky breathes out, his heels planting into the bed, legs falling open. “ _Daddy_.” 

It comes out on a moan and suddenly Steve is all the way inside him, circling his hips and making Bucky’s eyes roll back in his head. 

“There you go,” Steve says, “so good for me.” 

Steve pulls out, not even halfway, then shoves back in just as agonizingly slow as he did at first, making Bucky dizzy as he starts setting up this maddening pace that has Bucky keening and flexing his fingers into the air. He loves it, he loves this feeling of being held open for Steve’s pleasure - of being totally open and exposed for him. 

“Want to touch,” Bucky moans, and Steve drops his hands without question. Lets Bucky get his hands anywhere he wants and Bucky runs them over Steve’s shoulders, down his thick arms. “Yeah… I want it. Want you,” Bucky moans again. 

“Christ, baby,” Steve kisses him and smears it down his jaw, then sets his teeth low against Bucky’s throat just as he shoves in harder and Bucky yelps, grabbing Steve’s hair in his fists. 

“Nngh! More!” Bucky pulls a little and Steve does exactly what he wants; changes his pace to accommodate and speeds up, nailing Bucky faster and harder. Bucky hangs on for dear life and just smiles, pressing it into Steve’s sweaty shoulder, wrapping one leg around his pistoning hips and feeling deliriously good. The friction between their bodies on his cock, the full feeling - fuck he feels so good. 

So he’s a little surprised when Steve growls and sits back, runs his hands all the way down Bucky’s body and holds his hips down to the bed and gives him one of the most filthy looks that Bucky’s ever been on the receiving end of. It makes his whole body feel hot and he knows he’s breaking out in that unattractive, blotchy blush that he hates. 

“Want you to come on my cock, sweetheart,” Steve says, slowly dragging out. Bucky gasps at the loss and then gives Steve a confused look when Steve holds out a hand to haul him. 

“What…” Bucky swallows and kneels on the bed, looking at Steve up and down before he bites his lip and asks, “how do you want me?” 

Steve, for lack of a better word, manhandles him exactly where he wants him. He puts Bucky in his lap, the two of them kneeling on the bed, Bucky’s back to Steve’s chest with Bucky spread over those impressive thighs. 

“I--” Bucky isn’t sure where to put his hands and he feels unbalanced, except Steve catches him around the chest with one arm and Bucky reaches back to hold his hip and finally gets it. 

“Just like this,” Steve hums. Bucky can feel Steve’s hand between their bodies, the way he angles his cock back towards Bucky’s stretched hole and then when he’s got it right he nudges in moves his sticky hand back to Bucky’s hip. “Easy, _easy_ \--” Steve warns, but Bucky arches his back into the feeling and takes half of Steve all at once on a groan. 

“Fuck!” He whines, “fuck oh _fuck!_ ” Bucky squirms and Steve chuckles, low and sexy and it’s right by Bucky’s ear which makes him break out in goosebumps. 

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Steve asks, and Bucky can feel how smug he is just in a few words but he’s not even mad about it. He starts moving again and Bucky can’t stop making these hitching, breathless sounds. At one point reaching up and back to grab at Steve’s hair. 

“Nngh! I’m close,” Bucky pants, “I’m so-- I’m so close,” he’s so hyperaware of all the places their bodies are touching. Of Steve’s big hands on his hips, or brushing a nipple, skating down his flank -- and fuck every time he bites at Bucky’s neck or shoulder, Bucky feels like he’s going to shake apart. 

“Not yet, baby,” Steve says, slowing down to drag it out, splaying one hand on Bucky’s stomach and keeping him steady as he rolls his hips in little waves until he slips over Bucky’s prostate. 

The noise Bucky makes at that is deafening - a ragged cry that has Bucky spasming around Steve’s thick cock and dribbling come all over his own belly. 

“Right there, huh?” Steve asks, like he doesn’t know what he’s doing - like he doesn’t realize he’s taking Bucky absolutely apart. And now that he has the right angle he abuses it; rolls in again and again, nailing that spot until Bucky can feel his thighs shaking and he’s pretty sure the only reason he’s still upright is because Steve is holding him there. 

He’s an absolute mess, sticky and and sweaty and now he’s got tears running down his cheeks as he heaves in air and tries to arch back and twist to bury his his face into Steve’s neck. If he’s making sounds they don’t form words but he must be getting his point across with the scrabbling of his short nails and the way his body does whatever Steve wants it to. 

On one good deep thrust, Bucky is coming, Steve’s hand at some point having wrapped around his dick and he didn’t even notice. But then all at once he’s sensitive all over and losing it again - not coming but like his orgasm is being dragged on forever. Steve hasn’t stopped thrusting into him and Bucky just grabs at whatever part of him he can reach, clinging as he squeezes down on Steve and gasps out nonsensical pleas. 

“Fuck -- fuck my gorgeous boy,” Steve groans, his hips speeding up, and Bucky’s glad one of them has their brain even a little online right now. He’s so far gone but hearing Steve keeps him surfaced. “You feel so good, sweetheart, so fucking tight on me, so beautiful like this.” 

Bucky makes a garbled sound and Steve just shushes him gently, petting him even as he uses his body to get off and chase his own release and that thought has Bucky’s eyes rolling back again as he grinds back on Steve’s cock, trying to get more. 

“Baby.. baby I’m gonna come --” Steve’s breathing gets laboured and Bucky wants to watch him one day. Maybe ride him in bed and watch him fall apart while Bucky just takes care of him. 

He grabs Bucky’s hip so hard that Bucky knows it’s going to bruise and then Steve’s gasping against the back of Bucky’s neck, panting, hips stuttering as he rocks his orgasm out inside of Bucky’s ass. 

It’s so fucking hot and Bucky is about to pass out. 

“You’re so fucking good,” Steve murmurs, stroking over Bucky’s hip, “such a good boy.” 

Bucky just melts, feels Steve move so he can slip out and Bucky knows he’s probably tying the condom off, tossing it -- he’s barely even coherent when Steve appears with a warm washcloth and starts wiping him off. 

“Sweetheart,” Steve kisses him, kisses him and _kisses him_ until Bucky is lolling his head forward and grabbing handfuls of Steve’s hair and moaning into it again. He never wants to leave this bed. 

“Can I order that dinner for you now?” Steve asks, knuckles soft along Bucky’s jaw as Bucky just nods along. Steve guides him back to the living room, Bucky wrapped up in some boxers and one of Steve’s big oversized sweatshirts. He tugs the plaid blanket off the couch and curls up there and Steve joins him while they wait for delivery. 

“You were amazing,” Steve whispers, tugging Bucky close and spooning up against him on the sofa. “How do you feel?” 

Bucky blushes to the tips of his ears but shrugs, trying to be nonchalant, “really good.” 

Steve kisses his shoulder and holds him like that, petting over his hip, sliding a hand up under his shirt to reach bare skin.

They watch tv and eat pizza and Steve is so attentive and soft and Bucky feels Some Type of Way about that. Still he knows he has to get home or he’s going to get absolutely fucking nothing done all weekend. He’s got so much laundry to do, so much homework… it’s nice to hide out here at Steve’s but reality awaits him back with Clint and Nat and … yeah. 

“Will the car take me back?” he asks when an episode of what they’re watching ends. 

Steve sits up a little and gives him a confused smile, “whenever you want, sweetheart. You don’t …” he falters a little and Bucky shifts around under the blanket, “you don’t have to ask permission to leave, you know that, right?” 

“Y--yeah, I just,” Bucky clears his throat and sits up a little more, “I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to-- I have all this work to do.” 

“Baby you’re welcome here any time,” Steve reassures him, pushing his hair back with a soft smile, “and you can always go home if you need to, okay? Whatever you want.” 

Bucky exhales and nods, feeling weird and like his insides are turning over but he knows he needs to get home even if he doesn’t really want to. Besides he always feels like he’s going to overstay his welcome which isn’t anything Steve’s said or done but he was raised a certain way and he feels like that’s the done thing. They lay around a little bit longer until Bucky says it’s late and he doesn’t want to startle his roommates so Steve helps him get changed and sends him home. When Bucky goes to take off the sweatshirt and return it, Steve just tugs it right back on over his head. 

“I like it on you,” he says, rolling the sleeves up a little so Bucky’s hands stick out, “just return it the next time you come over.” 

Bucky smiles up at him and tilts his face for a kiss and Steve just sweeps him into something hot and sweet at the same time that makes Bucky moan and wrap his arms back up around Steve’s neck. 

“I know you have to do laundry but if you change your mind,” Steve says casually, one hand reaching down and giving Bucky’s ass a little squeeze. 

Bucky laughs and rolls his eyes, “punk -- I will let you know but … yeah.” 

Steve grins and helps him into the car when it arrives and sends him off with a gentle kiss goodbye that makes Bucky melt into the back seat. The ride over feels like it empties him, like every passing city block and mile drags some of his happiness away. By the time he gets to the house he just feels … blank. 

Bucky drags into his bed and thinks maybe it’s just exhaustion settling in and tucks the blankets around him in a nest and tries to settle down and quiet his mind. It’ll be better in the morning, he decides. He can re-center himself, talk to Clint about games and work, see if Nat will help him meditate and it’ll be good. 

What he gets instead is a nightmare.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The overwhelming response was that everyone wished that Bucky had spent the night so this chapter is just for you guys. 
> 
> One whole chapter of nothing but aftercare. THAT'S HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.

The substance of the nightmare isn’t important, it’s always going to be something that shakes him. And to be fair, after all these years, isn’t it always the same thing?

By the time he can wake himself up from it, it’s 6am and he’s shaking, broken out in a cold sweat and feeling like he’s got the flu he’s so out of it. There’s a fog in his head and he thinks about how he usually deals with nightmares and he finds the solution wanting. Most of the time he makes himself coffee, goes for a run and then hides in his room watching old vine compilations until he feels like a human again or until Clint or Nat wakes up and he can lean on them for some kind of platonic comfort. But today it all feels empty and it just adds to the stress of the situation. It’s not that he doesn’t love them, but he’s not … he feels like he needs something that they can’t give him and that’s a scary thing to have to acknowledge. 

What’s scarier still is picking up his phone and texting Steve after he figures that out.

 **Bucky**  
Steve? Can you come get me. 

**Bucky**  
I don’t feel good and I don’t want to be alone. 

**Bucky**  
I’m sorry it’s really early and you’re probably asleep. It’s just that maybe when you get up. 

**CIA Daddy**  
I’m on my way. You’re at home, right? Are you safe? 

**Bucky**  
Yeah. Yeah it’s I’m being stupid. It’s okay forget it. 

Bucky worries at his bottom lip and drags one of the books over that he’s supposed to be reading for class but the words all just swim on the page no matter how hard he concentrates. He grabs his notebook and starts taking notes alongside it at his desk because maybe that’ll make it focus but he’s a wreck and he knows it. At 6:37 his phone rings and he grabs it before the vibration makes it rattle off the desk. Steve is calling and Bucky feels a pit grow in his stomach. He shouldn’t have worried him like that. 

“Hey -- hey I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-” 

“Can you come let me in,” Steve interrupts. 

Bucky’s mouth works and then he stands up and soundlessly gets to the front door as if he doesn’t believe that Steve is going to be standing there; even checks out the peephole. But no… there he is. Bucky draws the locks back and pulls the door open, looking at Steve as he hangs up his phone and then makes a muffled ‘hrrgk’ noise when Steve scoops him into a crushing hug, wrapping his arms around Bucky and pulling their bodies tight together. 

“Hey, Buck,” Steve whispers, stroking over his hair. “Why don’t you grab your stuff, and let’s go back to mine.” 

Bucky nods, and holds Steve a moment longer before taking a step back and going to get his homework before coming back and finally taking Steve in for the first time. His hair is messy and he looks like he’s in pajamas. 

“Did … did I wake you up?” 

Steve shakes his head, “no I’m usually up at 5, I was having coffee and watching the news when you texted I just hadn’t gotten ready yet… was having a lazy weekend lie-in.” He looks self conscious as he reaches up and runs a hand through his own hair and Bucky tucks himself into Steve’s side as they leave. 

“I like it,” Bucky says, locking up. 

“Well I hope you get to see more of it,” Steve counters. 

They hop in the car that’s parked out front and Steve takes them back across town to his place, stopping through a Starbucks drive-thru along the way and getting them disgusting breakfast sandwiches and overly caffeinated drinks that Bucky isn’t responsible for making which is kind of a nice change of pace if he’s honest. 

Back at Steve’s house, Bucky starts to head towards the living room but Steve pulls him towards the bedroom, looping an arm around Bucky’s waist and kissing into his shoulder. 

“I want to lay back down,” Steve says, and Bucky helplessly goes with him. The sheets are all rumpled like Steve rolled right out of them and Bucky crawls into the center of the giant mattress, stretching out and realizing for the first time how unbelievably soft it is. 

“God it’s like a fucking cloud,” he says, blinking stupidly at Steve. 

“Yeah it’s got one of those --” Steve makes a face and gestures vaguely as he tosses off his pants, leaving himself in just his tee shirt and boxer briefs, “foamy … things?” 

“Memory foam?” Bucky supplies. 

“That,” Steve says with a grin, motioning to Bucky, “you can make yourself comfortable, if you want to-” he’s cut off by Bucky stripping down to just his black briefs and the sweatshirt that Steve let him borrow the night before and Bucky kneels there in the middle of the bed and waits for Steve to crawl in towards him. “Sweetheart,” Steve says, voice low. “You okay?” 

Bucky wraps his arms around Steve and lets himself get manhandled down to the pillows, throwing a leg over Steve’s hips and sighing. “I feel better now,” he admits, “I just … I got home and I felt so empty and then I had one of my nightmares.” 

And he feels like an idiot teling Steve that he’s a grown ass man that has nightmares but he figures if they’re dating he should probably warn him now rather than later so that Steve can make a decision on whether or not he wants to deal with that kind of bullshit. Bucky knows they can be startling and that people aren’t used to dealing with someone who gets sleep paralysis and the types of vivid nightmares that make a person shout awake crying. 

Steve runs his hand up the back of Bucky’s sweatshirt and strokes along his spine and he’s quiet for a long minute before he answers. 

“You did have a really big day yesterday... you didn’t have a good day at work or school and then you came here and we spent some intense time together,” Steve rationalizes. He spreads a hand between Bucky’s shoulder blades and kisses into his hair. “I’m worried you might have had a light case of subdrop honey.” 

Bucky scrunches his nose up and tilts his head back to look at Steve, “I thought that only -- like that’s hard BDSM stuff isn’t it?” 

Steve shrugs one shoulder, “it’s a headspace more than anything and what sends you into it can be any number of things. Some people do need harder play to get there, that’s very true. But it’s different for everyone and with you already being compromised, we maybe should have gone a little easier.” 

“Like not had sex?” Bucky asks with a frown. 

“No,” Steve says, smile crooked and sweet, “there would still have been sex but I could have been better about bringing you down afterwards.” 

Bucky looks confused but makes a note that maybe it’s just something to read about later. He’s aware of the BDSM scene and he’s not ever been a part of it. He doesn’t have anything against it but he doesn’t get off on anything there. He’s visited scenes and parties with friends before but only as an observer and never to participate or anything. 

“You know that D and S in the middle also go together, hm?” Steve nudges at Bucky and Bucky blinks back at him. “Dominance/submission,” Steve clarifies. 

“Oh -- I mean a little?” Bucky says, face getting heated. Steve chuckles and brushes his thumb over the parts of Bucky’s face that must be showing the blush and he kisses the tip of Bucky’s nose. 

“It can look like a lot of things,” Steve says, “it doesn’t have to be hard whips and chains and punishments… it can be things like letting someone else have control. Because you want to be taken care of and someone else wants to do that for you.” 

Like a trail of breadcrumbs that suddenly has led him to a gingerbread cabin in the woods, a lightbulb goes off above Bucky and he makes the ‘o’ face of recognition. Steve gives him the most fond expression that he’s ever been the recipient of in his life for that too. 

“But… I … but you know I can take care of myself? Right?” Bucky asks, voice quiet. 

“I do,” Steve says, pulling his hand out of Bucky’s shirt so that he can cup his cheek and stroke along his jaw, “that’s what makes it even more special to me. That you’re able to take care of yourself but you _choose_ to give me permission to take care of you. I love doing it for you but you could get anyone, Bucky. But you let _me_ do that. You give _me_ that permission and that’s what I like.” 

“Oh,” Bucky breathes out, nose brushing against Steve’s as he tips his face up for a kiss. “Of course I’d give you permission. You’re the only one I want, daddy.” 

He means it to be sweet but Steve grabs him close and moans into his mouth as he kisses him hard and deep. Bucky closes his eyes and melts into the feeling, letting Steve hold him and press him back into the soft pillows and blankets. But he doesn’t push it further than kissing, and pulls away to breathe after a minute, brushing a wet reminder down Bucky’s jaw. 

“Sweet thing,” Steve murmurs, dragging Bucky into his arms and relaxing into the bed. “Like having you here with me in bed. You want to turn on the tv?” 

“Mm,” Bucky hums. He doesn’t care what Steve does as long as he doesn’t have to move or stop touching him. This is what he wants right here. 

They end up dozing on and off through most of the morning. Turning on Game of Thrones reruns and enjoying the proximity of one another. Bucky sleeps almost immediately, buried into Steve’s broad chest and not even shy about how good it feels to be held like this. 

He wakes up a few hours later and Steve is petting his hair and sipping a cup of coffee and alternately reading on his ipad. 

“Mphgf?” 

“Good morning sweetheart,” Steve says, grinning down at him. 

“S’not really morning is it?” Bucky asks, sliding a leg over Steve’s hips and flinging himself half on top of him dramatically. 

“It’s around 11:00 so still morning?” 

Bucky makes a noncommittal noise and then pushes up until he’s sitting astride Steve’s hips, straddling him on the bed and looking down at him with what he knows has to be sleep rumpled hair and probably a hideous … well… everything. He knows he doesn’t make a pretty sight first thing in the morning but Steve just looks up at him like he’s the best thing since color television and DVR. 

“What do you want to do today?” Steve asks, rubbing his hands up Bucky’s thighs but not making it go any further. 

“This is pretty nice,” Bucky says, “can we just stay in?” 

“We can, sweetheart, do you want to tour the whole house? We haven’t had a chance to go through the whole place and maybe you’ll feel more like this is somewhere you can feel at home if we do that.” Steve gives him a genuine soft smile and Bucky leans over him to give him a kiss. 

“I think I’d like that,” Bucky says, and then because he can’t help himself he kisses Steve again. “Thanks for coming and getting me this morning.” 

Steve wraps a hand around the back of Bucky’s neck and pulls him down into another kiss, “I loved that you trusted me to come take care of you. I’ll do that anytime you need me to.” 

Bucky blushes and tries to hide his face in Steve’s shoulder thinking about how fucking adorable this man is that he’s in bed with. Honestly he just thought he was the hot, clearly ripped CIA dude but now he’s actually like, human? And so fucking caring that it makes Bucky ache all over because someone is taking care with him, and _of_ him which is a huge deal. There’s also that whole thing where he isn’t scared of it either - that he’s not afraid to let Steve in to do those things. Sometimes he worries about it, if it’s too much, but it’s never about if Steve is a bad person or anything like that. A novelty in Bucky’s dating life, to be sure. 

They lay around like that a little longer but eventually do go on a tour of the house. Bucky finds out there’s 3 other rooms; one is the office that Bucky heard Steve mention, the other two are… well.. One is a guest room and the other seems to be filled with boxes and other stuff that Steve says he hasn’t quite figured out what to do with. There’s other bathrooms, but none as opulent as the master suite, and in addition to the living room there’s a fancy dining room that Steve says he uses almost never. He motions at a breakfast nook that overlooks a manicured back yard, and then Bucky sees something that makes him blink in astonishment. 

A fucking hot tub. 

“Please tell me we can use that,” Bucky says longingly. 

“Did you bring a swimsuit?” Steve asks, going over to the coffee maker and pouring himself another cup and pulling one down for Bucky. 

“Oh… shit … no I didn’t even know I can bring one next… time…” Bucky trails off and squints at Steve who appears to be laughing at him. “I don’t need one do I?” 

“You don’t,” Steve says with a snort, “there’s a privacy fence so we can absolutely go out there naked if you want.” 

“Fuck I love that,” Bucky whispers, half to himself. He hears Steve laughing behind him and he goes over to get his coffee. 

It’s so nice and easy, the whole day is, just laying around and watching tv, doing homework and staying in his pajamas. Steve ends up getting dressed but when Bucky asks if he needs to put anything on, Steve just casually mentions he sort of likes him mostly naked like that and Bucky despite his hesitance the night before wants to give it a shot. He’s not okay being fully naked but underwear and a hoodie is easy. It’s just enough to feel safe in and he loves the way Steve looks at him whenever his shirt rides up or his briefs ride down. 

He lets Steve touch him casually and it’s just a nice thing to have in his day. They end up fucking in the kitchen, because after a really late lunch and while doing dishes, Steve asks him what he likes, if there’s anything he fantasizes about. And Bucky has had … maybe about 3 beers and he’s feeling full and happy. So he lets Steve coax some of his nastier thoughts out. Thoughts about being held down in bed, about being bent over the side of the jacuzzi where anyone could see, about having Steve in the back of that black CIA car, about Steve coming inside him and fingering it back out. It’s the last one that sends Steve to his knees to tongue fuck Bucky’s ass in the kitchen while Bucky holds on to the sink and whimpers through it. 

Steve uses a condom after, but tells Bucky he’s clean if they want to discuss going bare later and then makes Bucky’s eyes roll back in his head as he takes him with his underwear pushed down around his thighs. It’s short and fast and Bucky laughs when Steve growls about how he’s always wanted to break the kitchen in like this. It’s fun, actually, and after, Steve lets him stretch on the couch and do homework while he watches a game and finger-combs Bucky’s hair. 

It’s nothing like Bucky’s ever had before but Bucky is beginning to feel like that’s not a bad thing at all. 

When it gets late, Bucky starts to squirm around and get nervous but Steve is there holding Bucky’s hand and squeezing gently. “You can do whatever you want, you know?” Steve says, “if you want to go home, I’ll respect your choice and be happy to take you home; and if you want to stay here, know that I’d be so happy to have you stay the night with me.” 

He gives Bucky a smile and Bucky feels conflicted. 

“Are you sure you don’t mind? It’s not … it’s not putting you out or anything?” 

“No, of course not, Buck,” Steve says, bringing Bucky’s hand up to kiss the back of his knuckles, “It’d make me feel better actually, knowing you’d be safe. That you’d have someone there in case you wake up and need me.” 

Bucky bites his lip and Steve gives him an encouraging smile, “if you’re uncomfortable you can always take the guest room.” 

“N--no it’s not that,” Bucky admits quickly. He was a black ops sniper, hello. He’s hunted people down in the dead of night and taken them out ruthlessly without a second thought because it was his mission but ask him about intimacy and he turns into a blushing virgin and a shy piece of shit. “Let me text my roommates, I guess?” 

Steve practically beams at him. 

**Murder House**

**12 Point Buck**   
I’m spending the night with Steve

 **Suit & Bow Tie**   
GET SOME ASS 

**Nat Attack**   
That’s our boy! 

**12 Point Buck**   
Jesus guys… 

**Nat Attack**   
Now you be back by dinner tomorrow and if he gives you any trouble you let him know your parents are very scary and will dispatch him in a hurry. 

**Suit & Bow Tie**   
Oh I can’t wait for the shovel talk. 

**12 Point Buck**   
Yes hi, I am almost 30 there won’t be a shovel talk. 

**Suit & Bow Tie**   
Says you. 

Steve looks over Bucky’s shoulder when Bucky snorts a laugh and Steve kisses his cheek, “how did they take it?” 

“Well, they’re them, so.” 

Steve smiles and pulls Bucky towards bed, and it’s different from the night before, there’s things like a spare tooth brush being pulled out for him, of Steve creating pajamas for him out of boxers and a too-big shirt. Steve pulls Bucky into bed afterwards and it’s just like that morning on repeat. They curl around each other and Bucky, despite himself drifts off immediately, the heat of Steve’s body pressed close, the pressure of his hands keeping them together. He feels like he’s in a good place. There’s something about being in Steve’s arms, this safe haven from the rest of the world. 

****

On Sunday back at home he pools together his laundry with Clint and Natasha and the two of them harass him about his current dating scenario because that’s what best friends do. 

“So tell us about this guy,” Clint says after throwing in the last of their whites, “this the cute guy from work?” 

“Yeah,” Bucky laughs and rubs the back of his neck, “he’s fucking hot and I really like him.” 

“Anything other than being hot?” Natasha asks from where she’s in the middle of dusting in the living room. 

“He really … takes care of me? I don’t know how to describe it. He just is really attentive,” Bucky tries to keep the real nature of their relationship together. That’s not really something he’s ready to share with anyone else. 

“That’s kind of sweet,” Clint says, his voice coming from the kitchen. Bucky looks between them and then goes and picks up on the other end of the living room with the vacuum and sighs. 

“It is, I’m really .. I like him. I thought it would just be a lust thing but he’s actually really cool.” 

Natasha’s smile turns sharp, “so are you saying you might actually want to keep this one around?” 

“Hey!” Bucky turns pink to his ears, “I mean yeah? I guess? I certainly don’t want him to go anywhere anytime soon.”

“OooOOOoooh,” Clint hoots from the other room, “Bucky has a steady boyfriend!” 

“Are you gonna wear his letter jacket?” Natasha grins. 

“Or his greek letters?” Clint chimes in. 

Bucky laughs out loud and covers his face. “You guys are assholes.” 

“That’s true and it’s why we’re friends,” Clint reminds him. 

“How serious is it,” Natasha asks, genuinely curious. 

“I don’t know, I mean serious enough? He’s … I mean he wanted to be my boyfriend after a week of dating and he doesn’t .. like he’s definitely not the type to fuck around.” 

“Have you told him about the spring trip to London?” Natasha asks. 

“Oh fuck,” Bucky scrunches his face, “no. Damn I almost … no I absolutely forgot about it. I was trying to put it out of my head not to stress about it and I guess put it … too far out.” 

“You have your passport, right?” Clint teases. 

“Yeah, and Global Entry, you asshole,” Bucky rolls his eyes. 

“I’m sure he’ll be supportive, but maybe let him know now instead of springing it on him later,” Natasha points out. 

“Yeah… shit, I’ll do that our next date,” Bucky says, “heck…” he whispers to himself. 

“Do we need to do any shopping for that?” Clint asks. “Like, I know it’s just London but…” 

“No I think I’m fine,” Bucky says, pausing in his cleaning and staring into the middle distance, “I might look for a new coat? I don’t know.” 

“Let me know if you need a fashionable helper,” Natasha says under her breath, passing Bucky to dust around him. 

“I can go with you if you need help!” Clint calls from the kitchen. Natasha shoots Bucky a knowing look and Bucky just nods. 

They’re halfway through laundry and cleaning when there’s a knock at the door. Natasha is the one closest so she grabs it and when she stands back she’s holding a bouquet of flowers and two huge bags of delivery. 

Natasha raises an eyebrow at Bucky and Bucky just looks back at Clint. 

“I didn’t order anything,” Clint says. 

“Me either,” Natasha says, pushing the door closed and setting everything down on the kitchen table. They all gather around and Natasha inspects everything with a trained and professional eye before catching sight of the card in the flowers and then handing it to Bucky. 

Bucky raises an eyebrow and then opens it gingerly. 

“I hope your week is as good as my weekend was.

S” 

Bucky reads it out loud and then pinks up a little as Natasha and Clint both start hooting at him and cheering. Clint comes around to start unloading the bags of take-out food and cackling with glee at the bounty that he’s uncovering. 

“Looks like you got a sugar daddy, what IS ALL THIS,” Clint says absently and Bucky knows he goes so red that he feels like he’s melting into the floor. 

“At the very least dinner and maybe lunch?” Bucky finally supplies. 

Nat grins and gives him a conspiratorial wink and Bucky fishes his phone out and takes a picture of the flowers and the containers of food and sends it off to Steve with a series of embarrassing emoji. 

**CIA Daddy**   
I thought this might help you get through Sunday. 

**Bucky**   
Daddy, you’re the best. 

**CIA Daddy**   
Sweetheart, just for you. 

God he’s going to send him the fucking filthiest pictures this week to make up for it. But for now he’s got a ton of food to eat, a lot of work to do and if the dryer going off is anything to go by… probably a lot of clothes that need folding. 

**Bucky**   
I can’t wait to see you again. 

**CIA Daddy**   
Me either, baby.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Putting the hurt in hurt comfort. 
> 
> Okay and the comfort too. Actually more comfort than hurt. ???

Peter looks over at Bucky and raises an eyebrow. 

“You look like you’re in a good mood,” he says off hand. 

“Had a good weekend is all.” 

Peter smirks, “dick too bomb.” 

Bucky laughs and slides the bottles of caramel over to him, “I mean yeah that too.” 

“You want bar or register,” Peter asks, shuffling the bottles away and wiping the counter down. 

“Bar, I don’t feel like dealing with people today,” Bucky admits, “besides, I need a chance to sneak a few more espresso shots before I’m fully human.” 

“Okay well, hook me up when you get that going,” Peter says with a significant look. 

“Yeah?” Bucky gives him a look, “how IS MJ doing?” 

“A little stressed out about school, kind of like you, but hanging in there. I was helping her do some research this weekend at the library of congress,” Peter shakes his head and sets up the till, “that place is so cool.” 

“Fuck that reminds me I need to get to the JH library this week to grab some stuff,” Bucky mutters. 

“Yeah, you have to take the dick out of your mouth and still graduate,” Peter teases. 

“I can multitask,” Bucky says with a grin and Peter laughs. 

Steve isn’t in that day and Bucky doesn’t think much about it since he knows their schedules might not always line up, but that night Bucky just has a text that says:

 **CIA Daddy**  
Get us reservations for somewhere this Friday, sweetheart. Maybe after 7? 

Bucky reads it a few times and squints because Steve is usually the one making reservations, usually the one that picks where they eat and takes Bucky out somewhere fancy or fun as a surprise… it’s not that Bucky can’t pick a place, it’s just out of the ordinary. It’s -- 

Bucky freezes as he’s about to walk into class as the realization hits him. 

**Bucky**   
Anything for you, Daddy ;) 

He texts it back in a rush and then sits near the back of the room so he can try and get himself under control. 

Steve’s out on a job. 

***** 

Bucky tries to let it roll off him because they’re both professionals. Steve knows what he’s doing and this is his job and Bucky respects that, but there’s still that low hum in the back of Bucky’s brain that has him just a little on edge, a little more alert, always waiting to hear back. He keeps texting him through the week, keeping up appearances and making out like everything is normal because that’s what Steve had said he would want Bucky to do. Still, even though Bucky knows that Steve is out of pocket, it hurts a little to not hear back. 

Thursday comes and goes and Bucky wakes up for work on Friday and goes from being relatively chill about things to being on high alert. If Steve was right about things, he’ll be back today and Bucky is ...so ready to see him. He hops he read things right, not that it make a getting through the day waiting for him any easier. It's like when you’re about to be on vacation and have one more day left to get through until you leave and time slows down to make it all feel interminable. 

By the time he gets back from class and still doesn't have a text or call he gets a little antsy and Clint notices. 

‘Distraction?’ He signs. 

Bucky sinks into the couch with a repeatedly signed ‘yes.’ They turn on the Wii and put in Super Smash Brothers and shake hands because they’ve been known to get a little enthusiastic with this game. Natasha has maybe come home to find them on the floor with one of them in a headlock. 

But! It’s a fucking great distraction because as they work through the levels it definitely quiets the part of his brain that’s nothing but a ball of stress. It’s nice to focus on something else. But at around 8 or 9 he gets a call and it’s from Steve. He hits pause and hops up from the couch. 

“Hey!” Bucky answers, a little breathlessly. 

“Hey Buck, missed you sweetheart, what are you up to?”

“Trying to best Clint in a game of smash brothers,” Bucky answers, smiling despite himself. 

“Do you think I could interrupt your game, steal you away for the night?” Steve asks. 

“We could probably work out a trade,” Bucky teases. “When were you thinking of coming over to get me?” 

Steve chuckles but it’s breathy and a little … off. Bucky stops moving and listens closer to his voice, hearing it hitch and making Bucky go still. “If I were outside your house right now… how creepy would that be?”

“Scale of one to ten?” Bucky asks, trying to keep his voice light. 

“Yeah, lets go with that.” 

“Like a solid 7 but I’m going to let it slide.” 

“Think I can pull you away from Smash, then?” 

“Well, it’s you, so … yeah.” Bucky is already throwing a few things in a bag and jogging out to the living room as he hears Steve say that he’s waiting out front and hanging up. Something in his voice seems different and Bucky’s nervous energy turns into worry. 

Clint looks over at him and signs ‘what’ as Bucky runs a hand through his hair. 

‘Steve is…’ his hands hover and he shrugs helplessly and then points to the door, ‘I need to go.’ 

Clint looks at his face and nods, ‘go go’ he signs and then flags Bucky down with a quick ‘text later.’ 

Bucky waves and dashes out the front door, locking up behind himself and sees the car idling right in front of their place. But it’s a black car. Bucky runs around to the back door, knocking on the passenger window so the driver knows it’s him and when he pulls back the door, there Steve is … but fuck he looks… he looks rough. 

“Holy shit-” Bucky huffs. 

“Hey,” Steve says, already turning and reaching out for Bucky. 

“Steve--” Bucky climbs in the back and shuts the door behind himself in a rush. He goes to touch Steve but then stops, hands hovering over him. “Is -- where are … are you--” 

“Shh… shh come here,” Steve reaches out an arm and pulls Bucky into his side and kisses into his hair, letting Bucky snuggle against him. “Just the right side is bad… left side is just fine.” 

Bucky huffs out a breath and buries his face into Steve’s neck and shoulder and squeezes in closer, half in his lap at this point. “I… fuck I know you can’t -- I get it I get it,” he’s placating himself at this point but it’s a lot and he’s scared and relieved all at the same time. “I’m so…” 

Steve runs his fingers through Bucky’s hair and kisses down his face, “I know, I got all your messages when I left the black out and I was so sorry I couldn’t say anything, baby. You did so good though, and I’m back now and it’s okay.” 

They ride a little ways in silence as Bucky tries to slow down the rabbiting of his heart rate, tries to calm down his breathing and it’s helped by Steve just petting his back and shoulders, smoothing through his hair, resting his lips against Bucky’s hairline. 

“I was really nervous,” Bucky admits. “I mean I’m scared now too because you’re hurt but…” 

“I understand,” Steve says, holding him a little closer, a little tighter. “I want to make it up to you alright. You’re the first thing I thought of when I was cleared, you know? Just thought of my baby waiting for me.” 

Bucky smashes his face into Steve’s chest and makes a little embarrassed sound. He doesn’t want to come off as pathetic but God that’s exactly what he was. The car pulls to a stop after the gates and Bucky hops out first before rushing to help Steve out after even though the driver is moving to do the same. 

“I’ve got it, boys,” Steve says with a laugh, “thank you though.” 

“Of course,” the driver says. He gives Steve a little salute and takes out and Bucky sticks by Steve’s side to the door, getting them both inside. It’s clear Steve’s been home at least to set things down and get settled in and Bucky is grateful for that but… 

“I would’ve helped you with all this you know?” 

“Hm?” Steve kicks his boat shoes off and nudges Bucky to drop his books in the foyer. 

“If you would’ve called me the second you were … I don’t know… just… you didn’t have to take care of yourself alone I would’ve come over and taken care of you.” 

“Bucky,” Steve says, dragging him into a hug and then a soft, demanding kiss that has Bucky absolutely melting. Steve runs a hand down his back and splays his palm open wide right there just at the base of his spine and Bucky arches into him, rubbing up Steve’s chest and kissing back because he missed this. God he was worried, more than he thought even. 

“Next time I’ll do better,” Steve says, pushing Bucky’s hair back behind his ear. “I was in a rush to see you and just … did it myself thinking it would be faster.” 

“Stubborn,” Bucky chastises him. 

“Mmm,” Steve hums, “maybe you’ll have to do some punishing.” 

Bucky laughs and nudges Steve towards the living room, “maybe make yourself comfortable in front of the tv and I can … I can get something to drink for us?” 

“Just water for me but you can have anything you want, hm?” Steve kisses his cheek and Bucky smiles as they split up and head in different directions. It takes a couple of tries to find the glasses. Bucky gets Steve water and then pours a glass of red for himself because he just needs something to take the edge off. When he goes to join Steve on the couch, he pauses and while Steve watches, he starts slowly shucking off his clothes. 

“What’s this?” Steve asks, sipping his water. 

“Just wanted to get comfortable,” Bucky says. It’s socks, then pants and then he’s down to just a tee shirt and underwear and crawling into Steve’s lap with his glass of wine. 

“I missed you,” Steve says, stroking over Bucky’s hip. “It’s good to be home, that’s for sure.” 

Bucky covers Steve’s hand with his own for support and pushes up on his knees a little so he can hover over Steve and kiss him again, shifting closer and taking advantage of Steve being a little too injured to do much of anything. He moves his hand to the back of the couch and grins, thinking about some of what they talked about the past couple of weeks. About service and wanting to be there for someone. 

“Did you think about me waiting at home for you?” Bucky asks, threading his free hand into Steve’s hair and sipping the wine casually like he isn’t all butterflies and scattered nerves because he’s so fucking glad to see his boyfriend safe and home. 

“Yeah I did,” Steve sighs out. 

“Can I take care of you tonight, Daddy?” Bucky asks, and he swears he feels Steve sink into the couch an extra six inches as he groans and buries his face into Bucky’s chest. 

“What did you want to do, baby?” Steve asks. He’s got his one good arm around Bucky’s hips now and Bucky presses forward. 

“Can I ride you?” Bucky asks, voice quiet. He’s got all this adrenaline, a lot like he used to when he got back from an op and that weird grateful feeling is bubbling up inside him. 

“Fuck… _fuck_ sweetheart, is that what you want?” Steve asks, tipping his head back to look up at Bucky. He’s got this shocked expression and Bucky wants to make him feel good like that last weekend when Steve took care of him… this is what Bucky wants to return. 

“I’ll go get the lube and then yeah, yeah it is,” Bucky winks and Steve yanks him down into a kiss. 

When Bucky comes back he’s down to just his shirt and Steve groans, palming himself over his pants and Bucky bites his lip watching him. 

“Can you … can you stretch me?” Bucky asks, kneeling over Steve’s lap again and leaning in for a kiss. 

“Yeah Buck, just help me out a little and I’d love to,” Steve shifts into a comfortable position and they make it work. It’s not as easy as last weekend and they definitely get lube all over Bucky’s thighs in the process but then Steve is circling his hole and pressing a finger in and Bucky cradles Steve’s face and moans and suddenly none of that matters. 

“Mmn, just like that,” Bucky whispers, canting his hips and nosing at Steve with a grin, “thought about you this week… about last weekend.” 

Steve catches him in a kiss as he pushes his finger as deep as it’ll go and Bucky gasps, “what were you thinking?” 

And Bucky marshals a bit of courage and just goes for it. If Steve isn’t up for it, or he doesn’t want to he’ll say no but he won’t be mean about it… and they’ll do something else instead. Bucky is sure of it. He’s safe to ask for what he wants and how he wants it and this isn’t just for him. 

“Well,” Bucky drags it out until Steve is pushing in a second finger and thrusting them just so gently that it makes Bucky’s insides light up and feel warm. “I want… want you to come in me,” Bucky says, voice quiet, “bare.”

Bucky is watching Steve’s face and his eyes go from downcast, watching the way Bucky’s shirt rides up around his belly, over his chest and up to Bucky’s face in a slow, sensual slide. 

“Sweetheart,” Steve says, and Bucky can hear the gravel in it, “that what you want?” 

Bucky just nods, his cheeks red and his hands tight on the back of the couch as he flexes down on Steve’s fingers and rocks on them. They had talked about it last weekend, about the fantasy of it, then the reality involved, about tests and being clean and if Bucky wanted it. If he was ready for monogamy or not. They’d left some things on the table, a sort of ‘let me think about it’ and this is Bucky’s answer. 

Steve kisses him, soft and easy, works that third finger in until Bucky is whining and fucking himself back on Steve’s fingers almost shamelessly. 

“Help me get my sweats down?” Steve asks, shifting around as Bucky reaches for the waistband of Steve’s pants and helps Steve free himself. It’s not as smooth as last time but it’s still sexy. Steve keeps his bruised wrist off to the side and instead uses his good arm to steady Bucky. There’s awkward shuffling, some giggling and false starts but then Bucky is angling himself and sliding down Steve’s cock and both of them are moaning into each other’s mouths. 

“Steve--” Bucky whines, his arms sliding around Steve’s shoulders, “oh fuck you feel so good.” 

“Buck… Bucky sweetheart,” Steve grits the words out and noses against Bucky’s neck, “move, baby, you’ve got to move, I’m dying here.” 

Steve’s got one good hand but he’s got it spread over Bucky’s ass cheek and is using it to pull him forward, try to get Bucky to move and create some friction but Bucky is biting his lip, eyes half lidded and a little far gone with just the feeling of fullness. 

When he finally does move, he moans through it, the sound half-torn out of him as he pushes up and grinds back down with a roll of his hips. It’s so good for Bucky, so perfect, to control the depth, the speed, all of it … and the way Steve looks up at him - like he’s everything. It should feel like too much but it’s not. Steve helps him stay balanced, and even if he wants something faster or harder he just lets Bucky take what he needs. And judging by how hard he is, Bucky is pretty sure Steve is getting off on it just as much.

Bucky leans back and changes the angle, finds where it feels the best and where it gives Steve the most friction and rolls his hips so fucking filthy that it has Steve gasping and moaning through it, flexing his hips up into it with a hiss. 

“I don’t --” Steve swallows and digs his fingers into Bucky’s hip, “don’t think I’m gonna last long.” 

“Don’t want you to,” Bucky says, squeezing around Steve and feeling dizzy with it, “Mm wanna get you off, I want to make you feel so good.” 

The noise Steve makes is almost feral and he shoves his hips up to fuck deep into Bucky on a downward thrust. There’s a rush of affection, of need, and they’re kissing messily. Moaning and panting, the air humid between them. 

“Baby I’m close, c’mon, c’mon…” Steve growls and Bucky pants in his ear, hands gripping the back of the couch as he speeds, up, bouncing light and easy on Steve’s dick, making it good for Steve because that’s what he wants. He wants to make him feel good, wants to make him come more than anything. 

“Like this, this how you want it,” he asks, even though he knows the answer. Bucky knows he’s doing it right because Steve’s abs go all tight and he shudders and his dick gets so hard and thick and then he’s coming in a rush. 

“FUCK!” Steve shouts, biting down on his lip to stifle it as his hips jerk without much control and Bucky just grinds down, taking Steve deep, letting him come inside him. It feels fucking delicious, wet and hot and messy and Bucky is whining against Steve’s neck as he squeezes around his cock. 

“That what you needed, Daddy?” Bucky asks, rolling his hips even though he knows Steve is going to be hypersensitive and hating his life. 

Steve chokes out a sound and grabs Bucky’s ass with his good hand, fingertips brushing over Bucky’s hole where he’s still stretched wide. 

“Don’t get cocky, baby…” Steve growls. 

Bucky can feel the heat in his own face and he kind of wants to see what it is that Steve will do to him but also he isn’t in this to be punished tonight. This is for Steve…. But there’s nothing saying he can’t get a little for himself. 

“Can I ride your fingers?” Bucky asks, teeth tugging at Steve’s ear, “wanna be full when I get off.” 

“Jesus Christ, Bucky…” Steve huffs a breath and pulls out only to shove three fingers right back in and turn so he can kiss Bucky, tongue fucking his mouth as he works Bucky open again. “Come on, sweetheart, come for me.” 

“Haa-- fuck yeah,” Bucky reaches down with one hand and jerks himself off, squeezing around Steve’s fingers and feeling the heat coil up in his belly, a slow building burn as he rocks himself back and forth, getting just what he needs. Except then Steve is biting his bottom lip and crooking his fingers and Bucky’s eyes go wide. 

“I said come for me,” Steve says. It’s an authoritative low growl that makes Bucky’s back arch and like a shot, and on command, Bucky goes off without any warning.

His hand tightens automatically around his dick and he shakes through it, moaning so loud that if Steve had neighbors he’d be worried, and even without them he’s frankly still kind of mortified by how loud he is. But fuck it makes him temporarily black out and his toes tingle. It doesn’t help that Steve keeps rubbing over his prostate and making aftershocks blow through him until Bucky is begging him to stop. 

Steve just chuckles and pulls his messy, sticky fingers out and smears it all over Bucky’s hip, “fuck you are gorgeous.” 

“I feel like I’m going to pass out,” Bucky admits, his thighs still shaking. 

“Then lets get you cleaned up and you’re staying the night,” Steve insists. 

“Are you sure?” Bucky asks, nervously untangling himself from the couch even though his legs are threatening to give out. “Are you okay with that, you’re hurt and...” 

Steve raises an eyebrow at him and stands up gingerly before pulling Bucky in close and kissing him, “if it’s alright with you, you’re staying the night,” he says, hitching his own pants up one-handed, “I want to wake up next to you tomorrow, got it?” 

And that’s it. It’s that simple for Bucky to just stay the night. Steve gives him a pair of boxers and a tee shirt to sleep in and Bucky showers and climbs into bed with him and sleeps on the side that isn’t sore. At first he’s about a foot away but then Steve sighs and grumbles “get over here” and Bucky wriggles closer until Steve is hauling him in to cuddle. 

It’s stupid but it feels so fucking good and safe. 

“This okay?” Bucky asks, sliding an arm around Steve’s hip, tossing a leg over his. 

“S’perfect,” Steve assures him, kissing into his hair. 

Bucky wakes up in the morning and feels Steve’s hard cock pressed into his thigh. He realised that he slept straight through the night without so much as a dream and he feels so good it’s criminal. 

As he shifts around to get comfortable, Steve’s big hands grab at him and pull him closer, rocking them together for just a tease of friction. 

“Morning, sweetheart,” Steve purrs at him in that rough voice that makes Bucky melt immediately into him. 

“Hey Daddy.” 

Steve groans and rolls them enough so that he’s spooned up tight to Bucky’s back and he kisses his shoulder, the bad one, nosing into Bucky’s neck. 

“You feel okay today?” He asks. 

“Do you?” Bucky counters. He knows Steve had a rough go of it and he’s not going to let him get out of that just to fool around. The fooling around is nice but Bucky actually wants to know if Steve is alright, to take care of him a little. 

“Little sore, a little out of it but it helps with you here,” Steve admits. 

Bucky arches back into him with a sigh and let’s Steve pepper him with kisses, lavish him with attention and affection and it all feels so good. He still wants to take care of Steve but he’s also coming to understand that what they have and what they do has different layers there. Sometimes what makes Steve happy is being the caretaker, is being in control, and other times like this he just wants affection, and that’s his way of being the one in charge of the situation. 

It doesn’t matter how it works out, Bucky loves all of it - of being the one that brings Steve a glass of water on the couch, holding his hand and giving him a soft kiss; all the way to Steve being the one that picks him up after a bad night to dote on him. He’s never felt so fucking special and taken care of. 

They take just enough off to get to each other and Bucky feels two of Steve’s fingers slip inside of him so he cants his hips back into the touch with a whine. “F… fuck!” he hiccups out. 

“You alright?” Steve asks, breathing heavy on Bucky’s shoulder, working his fingers in and out. Christ, Bucky didn’t even hear him get the lube? 

“Y--yeah m’still so wet from last night,” Bucky moans and feels Steve bite down on his shoulder with a growl and suddenly his fingers are gone and it’s his cock pushing in, taking their place. 

It’s fast and indelicate. Like they both are too caught up and eager to do anything but rut against one another and get closer to orgasm as fast as possible. Steve isn’t teasing, isn’t trying to drag it out of Bucky, he’s just pounding him hard and perfect. Bucky arches back into him, panting and bringing one leg up so Steve can go deeper still. 

“MNn close!” Bucky whimpers, one hand working over his own cock, jerking himself off. 

“That’s it, that’s it,” Steve pants, grabbing Bucky’s hip hard and slamming in, “wanna feel you come around me, sweetheart.” 

Bucky tips his head back and whines, “kiss me.” 

Steve doesn’t hesitate, just kisses Bucky hard and demanding, moaning into his mouth until Bucky is crying out and coming all over his fist in a rush, rocking back on Steve’s cock and dragging out his own orgasm. It aches but still feels so good that his toes are curling as Steve keeps fucking him, chasing his own release. 

“In me,” Bucky groans, reaching back and threading his fingers into Steve’s hair, “Daddy, _in me_.” 

Steve’s hips stutter and Bucky whimpers as Steve’s fingers dig in hard at him. “Fuck, honey…” he gasps and rocks in deep, letting it drag out and Bucky rides out the sensation with a breathy sound. 

They lay in the afterglow, Steve staying buried inside him, dragging his fingertips over Bucky’s bare skin. Eventually they move to the shower, where Bucky makes Steve sit on the built in bench so that he can hover over him and bathe him. Wash his hair and carefully work a washcloth over light bruises and sore muscles. 

They kiss under the spray, Steve holding him close with his good arm until the water starts to run a little colder and Bucky’s stomach rumbles with hunger. Steve has some joggers and a big tee shirt that he puts Bucky in and then they’re downstairs making an obscene late breakfast together. It’s so cute and domestic and Bucky is drinking coffee and sitting on the counter just enjoying his coffee and letting his hot, shirtless boyfriend feed him bacon. 

Afterwards on the couch they’re stretched out over each other and trying to decide what to watch when Bucky remembers his fucking overseas trip. 

“I should probably tell you that I’m going on this like professional internship thing in London for a week?” Bucky says, flexing his legs where they’re stretched over Steve’s lap. 

“Oh?” Steve smiles at him, “that’s amazing, Buck. What a great opportunity for you, I’m really proud of you for getting selected for that!” 

“Thanks it’s … I keep forgetting about it with everything else. It’s on my Spring Break so we just spend a week over there working with policy experts and diplomats… I think it’ll be fun?” 

“It’ll be amazing,” Steve says, giving Bucky’s calf a squeeze. “You’ll have to bring me back an ugly fridge magnet.” 

Bucky laughs, “really?!” 

“Yes really! You’ve seen that thing in there, it’s barren.” 

“I thought that was an aesthetic choice,” Bucky says, still chuckling. 

“That’s an, I never remember to get them for myself choice,” Steve corrects. 

“Yeah yeah yeah….” Bucky shakes his head, “I can’t believe all you want is a magnet…” 

“Well, and you, but you’ll be bringing the magnet so I get both,” Steve says. 

Bucky grins at him and leans in for a kiss, “you’re a sap.” 

“Yeah, you’re just now figuring that out?” Steve asks, teasing. Bucky settles into him with a laugh and Steve strokes over his hair. “I don’t want to pressure you but, would you consider staying the night again?” Steve asks. 

“You want me to?” Bucky asks, looking up through his lashes. 

“If I could get you to, I’d keep you until Monday,” Steve admits sheepishly. Then getting a little quiet and really looking at Bucky with a guarded and sad expression he adds, “it was kind of a long mission.” 

Bucky softens back at him and cups Steve’s face. Oh. _Oh_. He understands what else Steve needs. So he decides to stay. He doesn’t try to fight it, he just settles down against him and tucks himself under Steve’s chin. 

“I don’t have anything to wear to work on Monday so I hope you’re ready to take the fall for that,” Bucky says matter of factly. 

Steve seems to relax under him and tightens an arm around Bucky’s shoulders, “worth getting in trouble for.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh there's sex in this chapter. Shocking no one. A little bit of Bucky doubting himself and feeling a little blue. And Steve getting to really spoil his sweet baby boy.

On Monday morning, Steve wakes up early with him, makes him breakfast and even finds him something to wear that’s close to acceptable. Bucky figures black joggers won’t get him in too much trouble and Steve finds a box in his spare room that has clothes he’s planning to donate that have a medium polo that Bucky can wear. They aren’t too far apart in height but Steve definitely has more bulk on him that Bucky has… possibly more than Bucky ever had even in his peak military days. Then again, snipers aren’t bulky… 

Still, slipping into Steve’s old shirt that smells like his cologne… it’s so nice and Steve even pulls a zip-up around him in case it’s chilly. They spend probably more time than is strictly necessary kissing and making out over breakfast and coffee. Bucky has to set his mug down because Steve is diligently worrying a mark into Bucky’s throat, just under his collar. 

“Hate to see you go,” Steve mumbles, kissing the little bruise and pulling back so he can seal his mouth over Bucky’s. 

“You coming in today?” Bucky asks, wrapping an arm around Steve’s shoulders and sighing when Steve pulls their bodies close again. 

“Probably. Need to do a debrief and all that… what time do you work ‘til so I can stop in and see you?” 

“Two,” Bucky says with a smile. 

“I’ll see you before then,” Steve promises. But instead of helping to send Bucky off he just kisses him again until Bucky is whining and nosing at Steve. 

“I’m never going to make it out!” 

Steve just groans and reaches down, cupping Bucky’s ass and sighing into his mouth. 

“God baby, I’m sorry I just love seeing you in my clothes, it’s so .. you look so owned sweetheart,” Steve admits. And Bucky just smiles, sweet and shy and tips his head back to kiss the tip of Steve’s nose. 

“I am,” he says casually.

Steve growls and hoists Bucky up onto the counter, kissing him so hard that Bucky feels weak afterward, the two of them panting together and Bucky feeling like he’s definitely half hard and regretting that he works mornings because he’d really like to go right back to bed. He has a fleeting moment where he considers, strongly, calling in sick so that he can go back to bed and suck Steve off until he’s swallowing it all…. Fuck. 

“When can I come back over?” Bucky asks, tugging at the front of Steve’s shirt. 

“Whenever you want, baby.” 

It is possibly the longest, most arduous shift of Bucky’s entire life. 

*****

But this is his life now? Bucky turns in a paper to his professor a couple of weeks later just before spring break and kind of reels a little at the absurdity of it all. Like okay, it’s not perfect. He works at Starbucks and his shifts are always so early in the morning he wants to die and he’s a part time student so he’s working on homework all the time, but… he has really amazing roommates. He has a boyfriend who picked him up from school the other day with hot chocolate and then took him out on a date at this wild speakeasy place and then they slept over together at his fucking ridiculous house. 

A house where Bucky has a drawer where he can keep some extra clothes in case he spends the night and forgets an overnight bag. Or an endless supply of clothes to borrow that belong to his boyfriend. Bucky has the next couple of days off before he leaves for London and Steve is going to take him shopping for anything last minute he needs for the trip and Bucky has secretly been looking forward to this all week. He’s been saving up for stuff -- not because he needs new clothes, but he thought it would be nice to put together a couple cute new outfits to take over there to send selfies back to Steve. 

Steve even took time off work … then again Bucky is of the very stern opinion that Steve deserves that after his rough assignment. He healed like really fast but Bucky didn’t ask a lot of questions as long as Steve was feeling better. 

After school, Steve is there to pick him up and Bucky isn’t sure how to feel when he sees the black car, as it always sort of pings something in his head that Steve can’t or won’t drive. Bucky hesitates but then Steve is opening the back door and leaning out the back with a big smile on his face. 

“Hey sweetheart,” he calls, and Bucky picks up speed again, jogging and then hopping in the back next to him and leaning in for a kiss. 

“Hey Daddy,” Bucky says with a grin, “what’s the special occasion?” 

“I wanted to take you out to dinner, maybe have a few drinks and it occurred to me that having a DD in advance would be the best course of action,” Steve reasons, laying a hand on Bucky’s thigh. “If we’re going to play hooky we ought to have fun with it.” 

Bucky smiles and slides his legs over Steve’s lap, “yeah? Is it a surprise or are you gonna tell me?” 

“It’s a surprise but we aren’t that far away so you don’t have to wait long,” Steve smiles and rubs over Bucky’s legs. “Are you excited about London?” 

“Yeah, I guess? Like I’m excited for the opportunity and traveling when I’m not… you know… a weapon of war is kind of nice,” Bucky says, “I never wanted to be part of that I didn’t have a lot of options for myself or making a life and just…” 

Steve tugs him closer and brushes his fingers through Bucky’s hair, looking at him with a gentle expression, “you do what you can with what you have. When you know better, and can do better, then you do.” 

Bucky exhales slowly and stares at Steve, “how do you do that?” 

“What?” 

“Make me feel like I’m …. I don’t know, doing the right thing? That things are going to be alright? That I’m … I guess, good?” Bucky turns a little red at that last bit and Steve’s eyes go up a little like he’s surprised but then he’s kissing Bucky’s cheek and holding him close like he’s precious and important. 

“You are doing the right thing, and things are going to be alright,” Steve pulls back and then traces his thumb over Bucky’s bottom lip, “and you know you’re good. You’re my good boy.” 

Bucky’s eyelids flutter closed and he swallows nervously, “yeah?” 

“Yeah baby,” Steve says, voice dropping lower. 

And Bucky, feeling incredibly bold and maybe a little needy tips his face and nips at Steve’s thumb, “show me, Daddy.”

“I really don’t want to sit through dinner with a hard-on,” Steve groans, but he’s still leaning in and kissing Bucky, cupping his face with one hand and grabbing his ass with the other. 

“Sounds like a _you_ problem,” Bucky teases, pressing back into Steve’s hand. 

“I could make it _your_ problem,” Steve growls, biting at Bucky’s full bottom lip and pulling him into his lap. “Could just fuck you right here and let you sit through dinner with my come in your ass.” 

Bucky gasps and stares at Steve, all half-lidded eyes and absolutely dumbstruck. “D…Daddy?” 

Steve kisses him again and winds his hand into Bucky’s hair to force him close, “would you like that?” 

“Yeah,” Bucky whines, grabbing at Steve’s shoulders and squirming in his lap, “fuck I really would. Why are you holding out on all these fantasies with me!?” 

Steve just laughs quietly and shifts them around so that Bucky’s back is to his chest and he can reach down and cup Bucky through his jeans. It’s not like Bucky can hide the fact that he’s getting hard too so he just shamelessly rolls into the feeling of Steve touching him, letting his cock fill out against the fly of his pants as Steve’s palm provides just the right amount of friction. 

“I’ll start talking dirty to you more often then,” Steve promises, spreading his legs a little as Bucky shifts his hips and feels exactly how much Steve is enjoying this. 

“How far is the restaurant?” Bucky asks, his hands spreading over Steve’s thighs. 

“Mmm, probably only about five minutes away.” 

The sound Bucky makes is tormented, his head falling back on Steve’s shoulder, “why are you winding me up like this when you know we have a reservation?” 

“So that later you’re even more desperate for me,” Steve whispers, kissing at Bucky’s neck. 

“I’m pretty sure that I’m literally always desperate for you,” Bucky admits, tilting his head to the side so that Steve can nose down into his shirt collar. He shivers as Steve breathes hot over his skin and squeezes his erection. 

“The feeling is mutual.” 

The car pulls to a stop and Steve asks the driver to circle the block again so that Bucky has a minute to calm his nerves. He definitely fucking needs it and by the time they get back to the front, Bucky is still aching but he’s at least not panting for attention and somewhat calmed down. Or at least at a manageable level. 

Steve’s gotten them reservations at Compass Rose and they’re dining out on the covered back patio at one of the intimate tables. It’s exciting to have someone that takes him out and wants to treat him to a dinner in a fun place. They get a few different things so that they can try out the menu, eating off each other’s plates, Steve sometimes holding out food on a fork so that Bucky can try a bite. It’s a little like that first date, heat simmering just underneath the surface, but this time Bucky knows exactly what he wants and he knows Steve will give him whatever he asks for.

“What are you thinking about?” Steve asks, breaking the silence and holding out a bite of fish and sticky rice. There’s a drop of honey ginger soy glaze that falls down Bucky’s chin that Steve brushes away with his thumb and Bucky smiles at him, getting a little red in the face. 

“About our first date,” he admits finally, scooting so that he’s a little closer to Steve. “I uh I had a crush on you because you were hot, and I guess I thought maybe I’d have a chance with you for like a one night stand. But then you turned out to be kind of an amazing guy and you actually liked me.” 

“Buck,” Steve slides a hand under the table and squeezes Bucky’s knee, giving him a soft look, “of course I like you. I like so much about you it’s probably a little embarrassing.” 

“I guess I didn’t think for awhile that I deserved that,” Bucky says quietly, pushing at the food on his plate that he’s way too full to eat. 

“Baby,” Steve moves until he’s got his chair right next to Bucky’s and he can lean in and kiss his cheek, “of course you deserve good things and someone who cares about you. And I’m so grateful that you think of me that way, that you let me be there for you.” 

Bucky feels kind of mushy and wound up funny but he lets Steve stroke over his cheeks and bring him back to the present and he accepts a couple more bites of food before Steve gets everything boxed up and orders desserts to go. The whole time Steve manages to keep a hand on him under the table, making sure that Bucky feels like he’s tethered somewhere and it’s strange but Bucky didn’t know he needed that until Steve was doing it but now that he is, Bucky isn’t sure he can function without Steve’s hands on him for the rest of the night. 

He’s not sure where the neediness is coming from, maybe it’s the pending trip, maybe it’s because he’s never had something like this, maybe all of it at once, but he knows he has Steve there to help him through it and that helps. 

The car is waiting for them out front and Steve helps Bucky climb in first before he’s joining him and gathering Bucky up into his lap, kissing Bucky hard before the door is even all the way closed. Bucky moans into it and wraps his arms around Steve’s neck and squirms forward until they’re touching everywhere and Steve has one hand spread over Bucky’s ass and the other wrapped against the back of his neck. 

“Sweetheart,” Steve says, breaking their kiss finally and squeezing Bucky’s neck, their foreheads touching and noses brushing, “you are the most important person in my life. That’s how I always want you to feel.” 

“Yeah?” Bucky asks, pushing Steve’s hair back and kissing him lightly. 

“Mmhmm,” Steve nods and rubs at the base of Bucky’s skull and holds him close. 

“I was so hot for you earlier and now I just … I feel like I ruined the night?” Bucky says, voice quiet as he buries his face in Steve’s shoulder. 

“Baby, you could never ruin anything, I promise. And you can change your mind about sex whenever you want,” Steve assures him, tilting his head back so he can look Bucky in the eyes, “You never have to have sex with me when you come over - that’s not why I invite you to my house. If all you want to do is spend time here doing homework, laying in the bath, and watching Real Housewives… I would be so happy to have you.” 

Bucky breathes out a shaky breath and blinks up at Steve not sure what to do with all the thoughts that are bubbling up inside him right now. He’s nervous and excited and happy and sad all at once and he isn’t sure if he’s supposed to feel this way or what but fuck … fuck he just … 

“Just wanna take it easy with you tonight,” Bucky says slowly. 

“Fuck, that’s what I want then,” Steve groans, kissing him again and holding him close. “I’ve got some pajamas for you and some champagne and you can have that dessert in bed.” 

“Daddy,” Bucky pulls Steve in by the shirt collar and kisses Steve hard. 

When they get back to the house, Steve stays true to his word, getting Bucky out something comfortable to wear. While Bucky changes, Steve goes to put away their leftovers and get the champagne and Bucky just takes his time. He’s a little worried that maybe he’s getting into this too far too fast but also he’s of the opinion that he shouldn’t hold back when he wants something because he’s seen how bad things can be in this world and he doesn’t want to regret not saying something or doing something when he had the chance. 

He ends up ditching the pants and just wears the big oversized sweatshirt that Steve left out with nothing but his underwear. 

“You look adorable,” Steve says, setting a tray with the champagne and dessert down on the nightstand before leaning over the bed and kissing Bucky on the cheek. “Mind if I change before we get started?” 

“I guess so,” Bucky says with a shrug, flopping back into the pillows and letting the sweatshirt ride up over his toned stomach. He pushes it up with one hand and Steve raises an eyebrow at him. “Don’t put on too much though.” 

“Whatever you want, baby.” 

Steve comes back to bed with a tee shirt and boxer briefs and drags the food tray into bed with them, immediately reaching out to pop the champagne and pour them two glasses. 

“Here’s to your upcoming trip,” Steve says, tapping their glasses together. 

“Cheers,” Bucky says, feeling warm and scared at the same time. Maybe he’ll work up the courage tomorrow. There’s no rush really. 

*****

Bucky wakes up sprawled over Steve’s body, basking in his abundance of heat and then sighing when Steve cards fingers through his hair, indicating that he’s awake too. 

“There you are,” Steve teases, trying to hoist Bucky up further so he can kiss his forehead and roll them down into the pillows together. “Thought you’d be out forever.” 

“Mm, I never get to sleep late,” Bucky says, all dopey and soft, snuggling into Steve and the dark covers. “But don't stop touching me... ” 

“What if I make it worthwhile?” Steve offers, shifting against Bucky and kissing at his jaw and then down along his throat. 

“How are you going to do that?” Bucky asks, automatically shifting his legs apart so that Steve can run a searching hand down over the front of his underwear, teasing along the outline of his dick. 

“Well,” Steve shifts closer and dips his fingers under the band of Bucky’s briefs as he rubs their bodies together and Bucky huffs out the breath he didn’t realise he was holding. “Thought I might suck you off and finger you until you were ready for me, then I wanted to fuck you nice and slow.” 

Bucky’s abs clench and his cock twitches as he thinks about it - fuck, Steve knows just what he wants and he just nods, squirming to get closer with a whispered ‘yes yes yes’. He can hear Steve chuckling as he slides under the covers and Bucky shamelessly spreads himself, lets Steve take his underwear off and drag him where he wants him in the high thread count sheets. It’s too early for thinking much and Bucky gives in immediately. Pliant as Steve’s mouth surrounds him, hot and wet; his body arching as Steve sucks him expertly. Steve's mouth is amazing, all gorgeous suction, and when he pulls off his hand is there to stroke down and it makes Bucky’s toes curl. 

By the time Steve is working two fingers in, Bucky is sweating a little, shirt all rucked up around his chest from where Steve shoved his other hand up to tease at his nipples. Bucky’s fucking himself down on Steve’s fingers and thrusting back up into his mouth making hitching sounds at how good it feels. Steve pulls off and pushes a third finger in, staring up Bucky’s body to watch him roll into the feeling and moan through it. 

“Fuck, sweetheart, you don’t know how good you look.” 

“God I’m close,” Bucky whines, reaching one hand down and jerking himself off as Steve fingerfucks him. “Hurry -- Steve hurry.” 

“Keep going, baby,” Steve rasps out, shifting up to his knees and watching Bucky get himself off. It’s so hot and Bucky is preening under the attention, letting himself get lost in how good it feels to have Steve watch him when he’s normally kind of embarrassed to be naked but Steve makes him feel good about himself. Fuck he’s so hard and so close already it’s kind of a shame. 

Bucky looks up in time to see Steve slick himself up and then he feels the tip of Steve’s thick cock start pressing in, but the combined sensation - that burn and stretch at his rim, and the way he can’t seem to stop himself from jerking off… Bucky comes with a shout, surprising himself in the process. His eyes snap up to Steve’s as he clenches down around what little’s inside him, moaning and slowing his strokes. 

“Bucky, Jesus … _fuck_ ,” Steve curses and grips his hips so hard that Bucky can feel the twinge but it all just adds to that rush of endorphins and he’s floating, letting go of himself and pawing with sticky hands at Steve’s arms, panting. 

“Daddy--” his legs move restlessly and fall open wider and Steve is staring at him like he’s going to eat him alive. And Bucky kind of wants him to. “Daddy c’mon,” Bucky squirms, trying to shift and take more but the grip Steve has on him is like iron and if he doesn’t want Bucky to move then Bucky isn’t going to and it’s so .. it’s so hot. “Daddy use me.” 

The flash in Steve’s eyes, the way they dilate and go wide at Bucky’s words. Bucky grips at Steve’s thick biceps and feels dizzy with lust. He’s already come but he wants this; wants Steve to take it from him, to use him to get off, to find his pleasure. He wants to be good for him - fuck it’s all blurring together and he knows this is probably subspace but it feels so good. He loves it, he loves this. 

“Baby,” Steve moans it out and noses close to Bucky giving him a soft, easy kiss. “Baby I already --” Steve starts to shift and Bucky feels it. Wet and dripping out of him and he gives Steve a half-lidded look, wrapping a leg around his hips. 

“But you’re still hard.” 

“Mm,” Steve noses into his shoulder and rocks his hips, never going much deeper but letting Bucky feel how wet and slippery he is. 

“Keep going,” Bucky whispers, scratching short nails over Steve’s shoulders and this time Steve doesn’t say anything, he just shoves in - slow, but not once stopping until he’s bottomed out. The slide is incredible and Bucky can’t do anything but clutch at his boyfriend - hold him inside and pant against his sweat-slick skin. 

“Baby,” Steve mouths at Bucky’s collarbones and moves inside him, slow, easy and Bucky isn’t even keen to get off, he just wants to feel this. Just wants to feel wanted, taken care of, used but still treasured. 

It’s exactly what Steve promised him, slow and deep, and Bucky feels absolutely taken. _Claimed_. He lets Steve have him anyway he wants, touching him wherever, kissing him, drawing out sounds and shuddering reactions that have Bucky feeling like he’s still orgasming even though he’s not even hard. It’s exactly what he wants and needs and he’s delirious. Grabbing at Steve’s hair, his shoulders, whispering ‘want you Daddy’ and ‘deeper, just like that’ and ‘want to feel you in me all day.’ Steve’s whole body moves with every thrust, one hand finally gripping Bucky’s thigh to hold him open just how he needs it. 

This is probably the most intimate sex Bucky has ever had and he’s lost in every sensation, doesn’t want it to end but Steve is flexing his hips and he can feel the strain in his muscles. 

“Close… I’m close sweetheart,” Steve pants out, nuzzling into Bucky’s throat and kissing his pulse point, breathing hot over sweaty skin. 

Bucky, far gone and floating on this rush of affection and adoration, pulls Steve’s mouth to his by handfuls of blonde hair and moans, “come in me, tell me I’m yours” against Steve’s lips. Steve reacts by grinding it deep and moaning “mine” with such ferocity and sincerity that Bucky feels like he might be passing out. He can feel the twitch of Steve’s cock inside him, feels him rolling his hips to empty himself and then it’s still. 

They’re both panting, the air humid and hot, the sheets sticking everywhere, but neither of them are moving apart. Steve is still kissing Bucky all over his face; gentle pecks as Bucky closes his eyes and drifts in that happy medium of almost awake and completely gone subspace. He loses track of time in there, but not in a bad way - just lets Steve take over - trusts him to do all the right things and make it better. 

When he starts coming around they’re in the shower and he’s sitting on the bench as Steve washes his hair, pulling him back to conscious thought trajectories. He smiles up at Steve and keeps his eyes closed, he feels the water cascade over his face and he feels the soap run out so he blinks his eyes open. 

“Hello darling,” Steve reaches his hand out and pulls Bucky to standing and then directly into his chest so he can hold him. “You okay?” 

“Never better,” Bucky mumbles, putting his head on Steve’s shoulder and letting himself feel boneless against him. “Fuck that was so good,” he whispers, wrapping an arm around Steve’s waist and kissing whatever wet skin he finds his mouth closest to. 

“You were incredible,” Steve says, running his hands over Bucky’s back and grabbing the soap up while he’s at it, “my good boy -- Bucky such a good boy.” 

Bucky feels like he’s glowing under the praise and he tips his head back for a kiss, “I think I’m really going to miss you while I’m away.” 

“I’m going to miss you too, but I’m so glad you get to go do this and you can call me or text me whenever you want to, baby,” Steve replies. They stand there a little longer, Steve petting Bucky, trying to bring him back down all the way, but then he’s reaching past him and flipping the water off. “Do you think you’re still up for shopping?” 

“Mm, yeah, think I am,” Bucky says, pulling Steve down for another kiss, “thank you.” 

“Thank _you_ ,” Steve answers, wrapping Bucky up in a plush robe and and kissing him, deeply. “You’re incredible, Buck.” 

“Just for you, Daddy.” 

*****

Steve drives them to the mall because he can and Bucky is delighted because he’s kind of starting to enjoy that his hot older boyfriend likes spoiling him and taking him places in his fancy car and showing him off. It’s still sometimes a struggle to get his head around it and occasionally his heart falls out of place but … he’s getting there. 

And today is a good day. They start at a Neiman Marcus and Bucky is immediately out of his depth, looking at the price tags and shaking his head furiously that this won’t do but Steve wheedles a little with a: 

“Just try some stuff on, see what size you are, what looks good.” 

So Bucky agrees, but he still tries to pick the lowest priced things on the rack. He doesn’t miss the way that Steve sneaks in a few expensive things and when Bucky protests, Steve puts his hands up and says: 

“I just want a fashion show, c’mon~” 

And honestly, Bucky is … really down for that. So he tries on everything. From jeans to slacks to button ups to polos and everything in between. Someone from the men’s department drops off a blazer and a sweater and Bucky tries those too and even puts on a tie but lets Steve tie it for him and tries not to give him that through-the-lashes look that gets them both in trouble when they’re in private. 

There’s one outfit that they’ve collectively put together and when Bucky comes out in it, Steve wolf whistles, sitting back in his chair and giving Bucky and appreciative up and down look that Bucky can _feel_ on his body. 

“I’m guessing you like it?” he asks. 

“You look… amazing,” Steve says, pushing up out of his chair and standing so he can circle Bucky and take him in from every angle. It’s not even that provocative. Fitted skinny slacks and a button down with a rugby style cardigan and tie. It makes him look like he’s in some posh boarding school but Steve runs a hand down his back and straightens the fabric out but Bucky can tell it’s just an excuse to touch. 

“It … it looks okay,” Bucky manages, “I’ll find some of … I mean I’m sure we can find some of this for cheaper elsewhere.” 

Steve ‘mmhmms’ but then he’s pulling Bucky round to face him so he can hold his hands. 

“Would you let me pay for any of this?” 

“Steve…” Bucky starts to protest but Steve cuts him off. 

“I know you set aside money to pay for it, but I’d rather you save that for something fun in London. You are….” Steve pauses and gives Bucky’s hands a squeeze, “totally capable of doing this yourself, and I know that, and I’m so proud of you. I just want to treat you because I can and I think you deserve something nice. I have way more than I need and no one else to really do this for.” 

Bucky sighs and can feel the nervous energy he associates with desire and embarrassment warring in his chest. 

“Would it make you happy?” Bucky asks. 

“Yeah,” Steve says, “I like making you happy. I like seeing you smile. I like being a little extra, I guess.” 

“God,” Bucky wrinkles his nose up with laughter and leans up to kiss Steve, “yeah you’re definitely extra, punk.” He hedges for another minute but then he nods, “I guess I’m okay with it.” 

“You let me spoil you in all kinds of other ways,” Steve says with a knowing lilt to his voice. 

Bucky manages to look a little abashed but still gives Steve an elbow to the ribs for that, both of them giggling and nudging each other in the privacy of the fitting room. 

“Thank you,” Steve says, pulling one of Bucky’s hands up to kiss the knuckles. “Go put your stuff back on and lets go pick a few more things out.” 

So Bucky gives in and when he rejoins Steve on the sales floor with the things he liked in the fitting room, Steve tugs Bucky back towards a jacket that Bucky returned for being overpriced no matter how good it looked and he snaps it up, adding it to the pile with a faux surprised face. 

“Hey!” Bucky gasps and then laughs as Steve dances out of range. “What’s this then!” 

“I’m treating my best guy,” Steve says, fiddling around with some hangers just out of Bucky’s line of sight and then pulling out a few more and whisking them away as well in a flurry. 

“Steve! I put those back!” Bucky whines. 

“I know you did but that’s because you said you couldn’t afford them, but I can,” Steve grabs some of the jeans that Bucky tried on and maybe grabs a few more pairs in the same size despite Bucky trying to interfere with the proceedings by getting in between Steve and the wall of denim. 

“C’mon, you’re being over the top,” Bucky insists, running a hand down Steve’s chest, “you don’t need to buy me a whole new wardrobe, I’m only going for a week.” 

“Who said I was only buying you clothes for your trip?” Steve kisses the tip of Bucky’s nose while Bucky is too stunned to move and then he’s walking away again and picking out a few more tee shirts before going and dumping them on a register with a ‘could you hold these? I need my hands free’. The lady that’s standing there is charmed as shit and just giggles and sets everything aside for him as Steve wanders back towards Bucky and pulls him forward by the hips. “You said I could spoil you, baby boy, now let me _spoil you_.” 

Bucky swallows and can feel the heat in his face as Steve’s thumbs push up under the hem of his shirt and rub over his bare skin. But Bucky kind of wants to turn it on it’s head because Steve just got him all these cute clothes to wear to class and on the trip and Bucky kind of wants something to wear for Steve. 

“What do you want to see me in, Daddy?” Bucky asks. 

Steve raises an eyebrow and pulls them closer together, leaning in to give Bucky a soft kiss, “I like you in anything … and nothing… but I would love it if you’d let me pick you out a suit.” 

“That’s so expensive,” Bucky complains, “I don’t know if I can accept that.” 

“How about when you come back from the UK then,” Steve offers, “I’ll find somewhere nice to take you out to that you’ll have to wear it and then you’ll let me buy it for you.” 

“You’re incorrigible,” Bucky says with a laugh, ducking his head and shaking it, “alright, Rogers, you drive a hard bargain but I accept.” 

“Good,” Steve pulls back and motions towards the register, “now let me go pick out some more slacks and pay for everything and carry it around for you, hm?” 

Bucky barks out a laugh and covers his face, elbowing Steve away from him, “GOD you’re the worst.” 

“I do hear that from time to time, yes.”

****

That night, at home, Bucky is brushing his teeth and staring at the bruises on his hips in the bathroom mirror, tracing over them with light touches and wondering how long they'll last. Steve catches him at it and looks sheepish, coming up behind Bucky and covering them up with his hands, kissing into Bucky's neck apologetically. 

"Sorry I got a little rough," Steve mumbles as Bucky rinses his toothbrush out. 

Bucky's quiet for a minute but then he's meeting Steve's eyes in the mirror, "I kind of liked it." 

They stare at each other for long moments, just hovering in each others orbit and touching but not _touching_ until Bucky looks down at where he's gripping the edge of the sink and says, "I really like it when you leave marks on me... it makes me feel more like I'm yours." 

He catches sight of Steve in the mirror again and feels one of his hands spread over his stomach and drift up his chest, holding him firmly in place. 

"We should find you something more permanent," Steve says in a low voice, kissing at Bucky's shoulder, "not that I don't love seeing my marks on you... but for if we're apart and you need a reminder that's not so ... hm.. obvious?" 

Bucky smiles and covers Steve's hand with his. 

"When I get back?" 

"When you get back."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends, heed the warnings!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some light bondage (Bucky is tied up with a tie, briefly and with consent); rimming with face sitting (you're welcome and you can all thank @Parrannnah for that....); throat holding but not full out choking it's more just an ownership move; a wild Sam Wilson appears!! 
> 
>  
> 
> oKAY FOR THOSE SENSITIVE TO CLIFF HANGERS AND TALK OF DRUGGED DRINKS.... KEEP READING THIS WILL SPOIL THE NEXT (UNPOSTED AS OF 4/26/19) CHAPTER FOR YOU BUT HEY
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Last but not least Bucky goes to a bar with classmates and it is implied that he is drugged at the bar. Nothing untoward happens to him in this chapter which relates to this -- he just becomes woozy and blacks out and it's a set up for the **next** chapter where he is kidnapped by HYDRA. (Am I spoiling my own fic? Yes I am for your safety and well being because I don't want anyone out there feeling in a Bad Way!!!) 
> 
> If you don't want to read Bucky feeling bad ... when you're at the bar scene in the end stop here: 
> 
> _Bucky puts his phone away and looks down at his empty pint glass with a frown. He sighs and stands up, looking around the table._
> 
> _“Anyone else?”_

Steve drags out one of his leather duffel bags for Bucky to take and one of his fancy 4-way rolling suitcases that has an engraved ‘SRG’ on it and Bucky ends up kissing him for a long while after that. It’s hard to stop because he knows he’s not going to get this for a week. The nice part is that Steve just indulges him at every turn, helps him fold up everything and put it neatly into the bags. He even tucks a travel size bottle of his cologne in there. 

They curl up in bed on Bucky’s last night in the states and at first Bucky is filled with nervous energy and can’t figure out what he wants to do if he wants to sleep or just lay there or fuck but eventually it’s Steve who figures out what it is that’ll help Bucky relax and unravel his nerves. 

“Let me,” Steve whispers, slipping out of bed and then coming back with a couple of his neck ties in hand. Bucky stares up at him from a tangle of sheets and frowns. “Can I tie you up?” 

Bucky’s mouth drops open and he feels all the blood in his body start rushing south. They’ve talked before about some lightly kinkier things they’d like to do but this is the first time that Steve’s really offered it and Bucky wants to jump out of his skin in excitement. 

“Fuck… yes yeah… yeah Daddy. Yes,” Bucky rambles, already sitting up and pulling his shirt off over his head and pushing up on his knees so he can grab at Steve’s face and kiss him hard, arching into him and trying to pull him towards the bed. 

“Calm down a second, Buck… first I want you to go over safewords,” Steve reminds him. 

“Traffic Light,” Bucky says, pulling at Steve’s pajama pants drawstring. “Green go, yellow slow down, red stop. I can use it anytime even outside of check in Stevie please c’mon.” 

Steve shakes his head and gives Bucky a look but nods, “hands in front of you, wrists together.” 

Bucky grins and does as he’s told, letting Steve wind one of his silk ties around his wrists. He remembers this one too; Steve wore it to work last week and it made Bucky think of spring. A soft green color that brings out flecks of the same in Steve’s eyes. Bucky swallows and glances up at Steve now, watching the concentration on his face. When he’s satisfied with his work he drops Bucky’s hands and Bucky flexes his arms, happy to find that he’s suitably bound. 

“That’s it…” Steve smiles and runs a finger from Bucky’s bound wrists, up over his chest and then tilts his face up by the chin. “What’s your color?” 

“Green,” Bucky says, already sinking into that warm honeyed feeling of being well taken care of. 

“Mmm, good,” Steve leans in and gives him a slow, drugging kiss that has Bucky melting immediately. “My good boy,” Steve says as he draws back, cupping Bucky’s jaw and taking a minute to admire his face. “Should I tell you what I’m going to do with you, or just do it?” 

“Do it,” Bucky answers, “whatever you want with me.” 

Steve smiles but it’s predatory and heated and Bucky can feel his breathing catch in his chest. Steve’s big hands are on him, just gentling touches that keep him grounded but he’s also pulling Bucky’s underwear off and then brushing a searching hand over Bucky’s ass. When he squeezes, Bucky gasps and presses back into it and Steve leans in for a kiss. Wordless, heated, until Steve is laying down on his back and tapping Bucky’s hip with a sly smirk. 

“C’mere,” Steve says, tugging Bucky towards his face. It’s probably a testament to how fast Bucky is dropping into subspace that he doesn’t know what’s happening until he’s at Steve’s shoulder and then it’s like slow motion. The understanding washing over him as Steve’s words work through his head. “Face my legs and sit on my face.” 

“S--Steve?” Bucky looks down at him and shakes his head, uncertain and turned on and oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh--

“Want to eat your ass until you’re dripping for me,” Steve says, nudging at Bucky’s legs to get him moving and then Bucky’s on autopilot. Obeying and doing just what Steve asks, relying on Steve for help to balance with his hands bound as they are and then fuck. Fuck he’s straddling Steve’s mouth and looking down at his frankly gorgeous fucking body and Bucky is already panting for it. 

“Steve is -- what--” Bucky squirms and doesn’t know where to put his hands but Steve just chuckles and works his thumbs into the crack of Bucky’s ass, spreading his cheeks open and leaning in to lick over Bucky’s tiny little hole. “OH FUCK!” 

Steve smiles against him and Bucky gasps, his hands spreading however they can against Steve’s chest because Steve is teasing over his entrance with the flat of his tongue, just working it over and over, making Bucky tremble and shake. It’s just enough to make him feel pliant and loose, wet and so fucking exposed. It’s barely enough to stimulate him but the little catch as Steve flicks over his rim has him making high pitched moans, his thighs clenching and tightening against Steve’s shoulders. It’s overwhelming and Bucky is trying to figure out if he’s only ever had this done by people who are bad at it or what but it’s never been so fucking good before. He’s got tears pricking at his eyes already on the brink … frustrated and so complete and oh oh oh—

When Steve moans and growls, Bucky can feel it vibrating through him and it makes his thighs shake and his back curve sharply. He almost collapses forward when Steve works his tongue inside him - the slick muscle toying at Bucky’s rim and the sound Bucky makes is high-pitched and embarrassing. He’s so turned on, he’s so lost in it, Steve’s hands on his hips, on his thighs, coaxing his legs to stay open, making sure Bucky is just where he wants him. 

“D--Daddy fuck, _fuck_ ,” Bucky moans and arches back and Steve grabs him by the hips, keeping him open and tongue fucking his ass deep until Bucky is crying out and digging short nails into Steve’s abs. He thinks he’s going cross-eyed, sweating and shaking all over as Steve relentlessly works over his hole, that beard scratching at his most sensitive places, the contrast in sensation to the wet, slippery slide of Steve’s tongue. 

“Ohnfuck,” Bucky groans, sinking down on Steve’s mouth and falling forward at the same time, whimpering at the abuse but not for one minute wanting it to stop. The press of Steve’s tongue inside him, wriggling deep and then slipping out only to thrust in again and again. He’s so weak for it and he’s pretty sure he could come like this if Steve didn’t quit… Still, he does - Steve pulls away and bites at one of Bucky’s ass cheeks, setting his teeth in just a little so that Bucky whines. “Daddy don’t stop…” 

“You like that?” Steve asks, already shifting them around. “Fuck I could do that to you all day.” 

Steve rolls Bucky down, crawling on top and letting his dick slide into the already slippery mess that is Bucky’s ass. At some point he must’ve grabbed the lube because Bucky hears the click of a cap but God he feels so wet from Steve’s mouth he doesn’t even know if he needs it. 

“Good boy,” Steve whispers, grinding against him and kissing against Bucky’s shoulder. “Daddy’s gonna fuck you now, baby.” 

“Please,” Bucky whimpers, tilting his hips up and trying to get Steve to just shove in and take him already. The build up has been maddening and Bucky’s scared he won’t be able to take much more without breaking completely. 

“Anything you want,” Steve pulls back and angles his dick down, pushing into Bucky in a slow, slick slide that has Bucky panting and clenching. 

“F… fuck,” Bucky claws at the bedding, his bound hands scrabbling at nothing but it feels so good he doesn’t want to get away but the pleasure is so much he isn’t sure he can take it but Steve knows what his limits are. He trusts him. 

Except then Steve is fucking him hard and deep and Bucky feels his eyes roll back in his head. It’s so intense and so good that he’s hanging on by a thread, spread out face down, ass up with just a little friction on his dick but Steve’s absolutely pounding his prostate and it feels like heaven. Bucky’s so full, so perfectly fucked… his brain is absolutely mush and then Steve is wrapping a hand around his throat and Bucky cries out. 

It isn’t enough to cut off his air, not enough to even give him pause but just the feeling of Steve holding him like that, the potential? The possibility? That he’s fully at Steve’s mercy and it’s all he wants. That it’s what he _needs_. Bucky’s whole body feels lit up and he’s gasping out hoarse little sounds that have Steve moaning next to his ear. 

“That’s it sweetheart, that’s what I want to hear,” Steve growls.

“Daddy,” Bucky moans, loud and low, tipping his head back and letting Steve’s big hand spread even wider over him, covering more of him. 

“So good for me,” Steve whispers, nipping at Bucky’s ear lobe and then dragging his beard down Bucky’s neck, kissing and biting as he goes. “Just taking it so well baby.” 

Bucky whites out on the pleasure, of the weight of Steve’s hand on his throat, of being covered and held down and taken, so fully and completely that he feels like he’s coming apart just as he’s being completely held together. He can tell he’s crying - that maybe he has been for awhile, tears streaking down his face as he just begs Steve not to stop, his bound hands scrabbling at the sheets, his legs slipping against the covers as Steve relentlessly fucks him open and chases his own release. 

When Steve does come, it’s in a rush, his hips stuttering forward, burying himself deep inside of Bucky as he sucks a dark hickey into the juncture of his neck and shoulder, fingers flexing on Bucky’s throat in the process and making Bucky gasp and tighten around Steve’s cock. 

They barely talk, just breathe in each other, pant and let the energy seep out until Steve is softening and pulling out, kneeling up so that he can roll Bucky onto his back and immediately untie his wrists, working his fingers against the fine bones as he kisses Bucky soft and gentle. 

“Good boy,” Steve whispers, voice hoarse, “such a good boy, sweetheart…” 

Bucky hiccups on another sob and Steve drags him close, holding him tight in the middle of the bed, stroking down his back and whispering soothing nothings to him. “You’re so good for me baby. Such a good boy.” 

“Daddy,” Bucky whimpers. 

“What is it, honey?” Steve cradles the back of his head and brings their noses close to bump together. “Whatever you want.” 

“I don’t want to leave,” Bucky whispers. 

“Baby,” Steve holds him closer and twists his fingers into Bucky’s shaggy hair, “this is important to you and I don’t want you to regret missing out...and besides that I’ll be here whenever you come back. I’ll pick you up right off the plane and we’ll come straight back here if that’s what you want.” 

Bucky nods and clutches Steve tighter, breathing him in and trying to commit it all to memory, that this isn’t like a deployment, and it isn’t forever… this is just a trip, a school trip, and Steve’s waiting on the other side of it and nothing is going to change that. It’s only for a week. He doesn’t know why it feels like forever right now but it does and he’s wrung out and exhausted but he’s scared that sleeping means less time with Steve. 

“Let me get you in the bath and then we can sleep, hm?” 

Bucky nods and lets Steve run them a hot bath with lavender and low lights and Bucky sinks in sprawled in Steve’s lap. There’s a few candles lit and Steve just holds him in the water, scooping handfuls of it over Bucky’s chest and arms. 

“Darling boy,” Steve murmurs against Bucky’s shoulder, “you’re my sweetheart you know that?” 

“Hmm,” Bucky closes his eyes and tips his head back. 

“You’ll be back before you know it and if you need anything while you’re away, you can call me or your roommates, you know that, right?” 

Bucky nods and turns his face into Steve’s neck. He knows it’ll be okay, somewhere deep down and he just has to convince the rest of him about it. 

***** 

In the morning Bucky texts Nat and Clint on the way to the airport as Steve drives. 

**Murder House**

**12 Point Buck**   
On my way!

 **Suit & Bow Tie**   
London Calling

 **Nat Attack**   
Try the Turkish Delight.

 **Suit & Bow Tie**   
Do _not_ try the Turkish Delight

 **Nat Attack**   
Spoil sport… 

**12 Point Buck**   
LOL 

I’ll miss you guys, try to make sure my room doesn’t get too dusty. 

**Nat Attack**   
It’s already dusty from you spending the night with loverboy~

 **Suit & Bow Tie**   
:* :* :* :* :* :* 

Not that I blame you, I mean he sounds like he’s giving it to you good.

 **12 Point Buck**   
I take it all back. I won’t miss you at all. 

**Nat Attack**   
Bring me back some Twinings Tea please, I want Prince of Wales. 

**Suit & Bow Tie**   
I want shortbread cookies!!! 

Oh Oh and something with Big Ben on it. 

**12 Point Buck**   
So something tacky? 

**Suit & Bow Tie**   
Yes. 

Bucky laughs and sets his phone down, looking over at Steve with a soft smile and sliding his hand over to rest it on his thigh. 

“Promise you’ll be there to pick me up?” 

“I promise,” Steve says, glancing over at him as they turn into the drop off loop at the airport. 

They manage not to make a scene but Bucky does get a little rattled, tears pricking in his eyes because he doesn’t have a lot of good memories of leaving by airport… but Steve holds him as long as he can, kisses him more times than strictly necessary and Bucky is kind of taken by the fact that Steve literally waits by his car until Bucky is completely out of sight. It’s more than anyone’s ever done for him and when he goes through TSA and as he queues up for his plane he hovers over an unsent text message then backspaces out and sends something else instead. 

**Bucky**   
I miss you already. 

**CIA Daddy**   
I miss you too, Buck. 

It’s a long flight over but Steve, the absolutely shit, upgraded Bucky to first class and when Bucky sits down in his luxurious seat, he takes a selfie and sends it to Steve. One of him with a glass of champagne and a sleep mask on looking shy and disbelieving. 

**CIA Daddy**   
Surprise? 

**Bucky**   
I can’t believe you but thank you… God you’re the best. 

**CIA Daddy**   
Just for you. 

**Bucky**   
I’ll text you when I land. 

**CIA Daddy**   
Good boy. 

The good feeling carries Bucky all the way to London and he dozes off somewhere over the Atlantic, clutching his phone and trying to look forward to what’s in front of him. 

****

All the students make their own way to the hotel and in the lobby they’re paired up with roommates and turned loose to go unpack before the networking reception back downstairs in one of the conference rooms that evening at around 7. Bucky’s been paired up with a guy named Sam who he’s seen in class a few times but that he’s never really gotten a chance to talk with. He comes up to Bucky with a smile and extends a hand. 

“Hey Roomie,” he says. 

“Hey, glad I got someone I feel like I can get along with,” Bucky says casually. Sam snorts a laugh and motions over his shoulder. 

“Oh you mean you didn’t want to room with Chad 1-17?” 

“There’s just … so much Vineyard Vines…” Bucky says, squinting into the middle distance. 

“It’s almost like being back up at Northeastern. Come on man, lets go unpack,” Sam nudges Bucky and they head up towards the elevator bank, Bucky pulling his phone out and sending Steve a text. 

**CIA Daddy**  
Did you make it to your hotel? 

**Bucky**   
Yeah, just got assigned my roommate. It’s actually the guy in class I like. 

**CIA Daddy**   
Bullet dodged! 

**Bucky**   
I know!! You didn’t secretly upgrade me to a suite or anything did you? 

**CIA Daddy**   
The hotel said it wasn’t allowed to move reservations of students on the fellowship. 

**Bucky**  
STEVE!

 **CIA Daddy**   
I’m kidding sweetheart. 

**Bucky**  
Oh my god… 

 

“You text faster than my little sister,” Sam says, raising an eyebrow as the elevator doors ding open on their floor. 

“Sorry - I was … just catching my boyfriend up,” Bucky says carefully. 

Sam smiles at him, “that’s kind of sweet, actually.” 

They buzz into their room, pick which bed they want and then start unpacking, trading easy conversation about the flight over, about what they’re looking forward to most in the next over the course of the week. They have a pretty tight schedule of appointments between the US Embassy and Parliament. Sam says he’s most excited about sitting in on a session but Bucky says he wants to see policy writing in action in the offices. 

They get everything put away and then they’re heading down to the reception, mingling with all the other students and working the room. It’s still a little awkward for Bucky - he’s not as young as some of the people and it makes him nervous being surrounded by this many people drinking and being loud. He’s worked with a therapist since his discharge on coping mechanisms but sometimes he just has to leave early and cut his losses. He makes sure the program directors see him and then he signals to Sam that he’s going to head back upstairs but then he’s on his on his own. It feels nice and he breathes easier when he’s alone in the room, changing into his pajamas that smell like Steve’s house. 

**Murder House**

**12 Point Buck**   
Felt weird at the networking thing and had to duck out. 

**Suit & Bow Tie**   
You feeling okay now? 

**12 Point Buck**   
Yeah, just had a moment there where I felt kind of out of it. 

**Suit & Bow Tie**   
Crowds do that sometimes. You’re safe now though? 

**12 Point Buck**   
I’m in my room and having a glass of water in my pajamas. 

**Suit & Bow Tie**  
That’s a start. Why don’t you see if you can text Steve? 

**12 Point Buck**   
Yeah I thought I’d check in with him next. 

**Suit & Bow Tie**  
Atta Boy. 

 

Bucky flips between conversations in his phone and opens up the one with Steve.

 **Bucky**   
Left the networking meeting early, can I call?

 **CIA Daddy**   
Of course, sweetheart, give me a minute to wrap up this email and then I’m all yours. I’ll call your room. 

Bucky puts his phone away and rolls over on his side, fluffing the pillows up and getting comfortable. The too-loud ring tone of the room phone startles him but he grabs it by the time the second ring is happening, cutting it short and figuring out how to answer it with fumbling fingers. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey darling,” Steve’s voice comes over the line and Bucky smiles immediately at the sound of his voice. “How was the reception?” 

“It was alright, my roommate and I were having fun but then it just got a little overwhelming,” Bucky admits, pushing his hair back from his face. “I don’t always like being in a crowd and this was kind of a lot at once I guess.” 

“You had a big day,” Steve soothes, “long flight, you’re probably jet lagged… it’s been awhile since you were overseas. It’s alright to be overwhelmed.” 

“It just feels kind of defeating… that I’m supposed to be here to meet all these new people and spend time with my classmates abroad and I panic and have to leave early.” 

“Never feel bad about taking care of yourself,” Steve says, “are you relaxing now?” 

“Yeah, I’m in bed with my pjs and watching tv…” Bucky pulls the covers up closer and then nuzzles into his hoodie. “Wish you were here too.” 

“Might make it awkward for your roommate…” 

Bucky laughs and shoves his face into the pillow, “alright I’ll give you that.” 

“How is he?” Steve asks. “You said it was someone you knew from school that you liked.” 

“Yeah! I’ve worked with him in some group projects but haven’t really gotten to know him. He’s also ex military? He’s super funny, really nice, didn’t seem weird when I mentioned I had a boyfriend.” 

“Mm, I’m glad you’re staying with someone nice, baby,” Steve says, and Bucky snuggles down more into the pillows, closing his eyes and trying to pretend he’s back at home. “What’s your group doing tomorrow?” 

“I think tomorrow we meet with some of division experts in small groups and then do a tour of Parliament and sit in on readings and session proceedings,” Bucky says, yawning, “I think it’ll be fun… tired though.” 

“I bet you are,” Steve says, voice low, “why don’t you tuck yourself in and get to bed early, and you can text me tomorrow, hm?” 

“Even with the time difference?” 

“Anytime, Buck.” 

There’s a moment where they just sit quietly on the phone together and Bucky feels calm and centered again. 

“How ‘bout tomorrow you send me a cute picture of your outfit, hm? Something to look forward to?” Steve offers gently. 

“Yeah, okay Stevie.” 

“Sweet thing, go to sleep - miss you Buck.” 

“Miss you too.” 

Bucky just manages to hang the phone up before he’s passing out in his pillows and immediately falling into a dreamless sleep. There’s some part of him that feels bad for copping out on his roommate early and he hopes Sam will forgive him this time. 

*****

In the morning, both of them are dragging ass a little, the time difference wreaking havoc on them despite the generally full night’s sleep. Bucky drags himself out of bed first, using the bathroom and then going over to the in-room coffee maker with a sound like a dying bird, poking at the buttons dejectedly until Sam comes by and points over his shoulder. 

“Gotta add water.” 

“Fuck,” Bucky groans. 

“Don’t do that to the coffee machine.” 

Bucky snorts a laugh and goes to fetch water, pausing with his hand over a second cup, “you want some?” 

“Yes, fuck yes it’s too early and if there’s nothing but tea downstairs I will up and die,” Sam answers dramatically. “You mind if I shower?” 

“Nah, go ahead I need coffee before I try anything requiring brain cells.” 

“Ain’t that the truth.” 

They both snicker at each other and go their separate ways - Bucky makes his cup and queues Sam’s up to brew as he starts putting an outfit together. 

***** 

At breakfast they try to make conversation with a few other classmates but ultimately fall off to a table by themselves where Sam is reviewing the itinerary for the day and making snide commentary about Nantucket Red pants that has Bucky snickering into his coffee. 

“Like just buy a goddamn pair of pink pants, Jimothy,” Sam says without even looking up. 

“They’re not pink, man, they’re Nantucket Red, you gotta let ‘em bleach on the Vineyard,” Bucky pitches back. 

“The only thing bleached is their politics, I swear to God how many of these little fuckboys you think are gonna sit on the Tory benches?” 

“Tories? In my Fellowship?” Bucky asks, looking up and pretending to clutch his pearls. 

“It’s more likely than you think,” Sam finishes for him, rolling down his papers and smacking Bucky in the shoulder. “C’mon Barnes lets go sit in the back where they can’t hear us talk shit about Margaret Thatcher.” 

*****

The day is… actually as good as Bucky hopes it’s going to be which is kind of exciting. He was afraid that maybe he hyped the experience up too much in his head and was overselling it but being in the middle of everything is invigorating. He can see the applications for what it is he’s going to do in the future and Professor Rhodes is there with them, helping to kind of make the connection between what the theoretical work they’ve done in class is and how that’s being put in practice here. Bucky is on cloud nine and he shoots off a few texts to Steve and Clint and Nat and even a memorable one to Peter of his Starbucks drink with the Thames in the background but he’s so fucking enthralled that he kind of forgets to update everyone. 

Still, that night they get a break and because the next day doesn’t get started until around 12 a bunch of the students decide to go out with the blessing of the Fellowship coordinators. There’s a number of bars in the vicinity of Parliament and they all go out to have a bit of fun. Bucky changes out of his cardigan and tie but doesn’t change much else, just rolling up his button down sleeves and loosening his collar. He pauses for long enough to take a picture for Steve and then he’s jogging out the door with Sam. 

“I cannot wait to get a real pint of Guinness!” Sam whoops. 

“You’re full of shit,” Bucky calls after him, the two of them making a bee-line for St. Stephens. 

“Yeah I am are you fucking with me I’m getting whatever good shit is on tap.” 

“Maybe don’t say that too loud I feel like you’ll anger a local.” 

“Yeah yeah, come at me.” 

The two of them laugh and duck into the tavern, a few classmates already at the bar and getting rounds. They settle into a booth with a few other people and this - a casual setting, a little less formality - puts Bucky at ease. He has a few beers, not too much more than he ought to have, but he gets a pleasant buzz going. There’s a low hum under his skin and he just feels good. Everyone here is pretty decent and it’s not so crowded that he’s having a panic attack or anything. It’s the good kind of full - enough people that he doesn’t feel like he stands out. He takes a second to text Steve a selfie of him and Sam holding up their glasses and Steve sends back a kissing face emoji. 

**CIA Daddy**   
I’m glad you’re having fun Buck - text me when you get back to your room, alright? 

**Bucky**   
I will, Daddy. I miss you. 

**CIA Daddy**  
Miss you too sweetheart. 

Bucky puts his phone away and looks down at his empty pint glass with a frown. He sighs and stands up, looking around the table. 

“Anyone else?” 

He sees five hands go up so he grabs orders and heads to the bar for a refill. While he’s waiting on the other four he sips his beer and glances around feeling the room spin slightly. His mouth feels dry and his hands flex uselessly at the bar. 

“Can you… send those…” Bucky waves over to the table and then shakes his head pointing to the restroom. He just needs a minute to clear his head and maybe … call Steve. Yeah he needs to call Steve or something. Fuck it’s so wobbly in here all the sudden. 

Bucky makes his way to the bathroom on steady feet, putting his all into staying upright, but as soon as he’s through the door he collapses into the first stall and slams the door shut, falling back onto the toilet and curling up tight. 

Everything feels too bright and too hot at once. He pulls out his phone and all the names are blurring together, completely unfocused and he can’t seem to pick Steve out. 

“S.. Steve-” Bucky holds the phone up and tries to activate the voice feature but then he’s out like a light.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE... READ THE NOTES PLEASE! This chapter has Bucky's kidnapping and I'd like you be careful with yourselves if you don't feel comfortable progressing you can skip this installment. I'm posting the second half immediately so that you can jump. :} do be cautious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Bucky is picked up by HYDRA. In this universe, HYDRA isn't quite like you know them in the MCU or comics. They aren't Nazis or Nazi adjacent. They're more like blackwater - mercenaries that go to the highest bidder and occasionally serve their own needs/wants. They picked Bucky up at the end of the last chapter and transported him off site to "test" him. 
> 
> You can skip this chapter if you are squeamish about the thought of capture/torture/kidnapping/medical horror or whatever. That's why I split chapter 10 into 2 chapters. 
> 
> Here's exactly what happens so you can make an informed decision if you aren't sure: 
> 
> * Bucky is tied to a chair (this is not the chair he was held in while in captivity during the movies or comics, he's just restrained with ropes).   
> * He acts as a compliant prisoner and he kind of reflects on this in his internal monologue as to why he's playing along   
> * They allow him to move freely with oversight so he's not constantly bound and being dragged around or forced into things.   
> * He's put in an anechoic chamber. This is a chamber with no sound. (This is used in astronaut training actually!) It's meant to see if he'll go insane under isolation conditions. He doesn't.   
> * He reflects on being in a kind of meditative state akin to when he was still a sniper.   
> * It is discussed that he goes through pain tests and a startle response test -- these are not listed or gone through in depth! they are not described! in fact all I did was say that he can go through a lot of pain. In my head these are the same types of tests that are used by psychiatrists and neurologists in actual studies for patients.   
> * He is fed and left to sleep in a padded cell.   
> * He talks about it being isolation torture though there's no physical torture.   
> * He is then taken to a gun range where he is tested on how good his skills still are with firearms.   
> * During this test, an alarm goes off - his main captor bolts and Bucky is taken away by a nurse/doctor  
> * During this phase he is strapped to a chair similar to the one we see in the MCU/comics  
> * He is given a series of injections against his will that are very painful.   
> * After the last shot is given he goes into a kind of semi-lucid state   
> * Bucky is rescued
> 
> The entire length of time this simulates is about 48 hours. If you'd like to just use this liner notes as a means to jumping into Chapter 11 feel free! There's more detail and emotion in the narrative but please take care of yourself instead!! <3

Bucky comes to in a dark room, bound to a chair. There’s no one else in the room with him from what he can tell and judging by how he feels (garbage) he was likely drugged. Well, that explains how they were able to take him in. They never would have gotten him conscious. 

He was trained in capture and survival tactics back in the military so none of this is startling, it’s just about calling that training back up from where he buried it after he discharged. Christ, the whole point in getting out was that he wouldn’t ever have to do this again. He can feel his pulse start to tick up and he immediately takes a deep breath and ratchets that right back down. Get nervous and they win. The key is to remain calm. Deep breathing, low heart rate, high alert. He closes his eyes and focuses on the way sound moves around the room. When there’s the sound of pipes moving water overhead he knows how low the ceiling is. Judging by the concrete floor it’s probably a newer post-war building. 

Dimensions then. He opens his eyes and slants them into the darkest corners focusing on the shadows, the way light moves around the space. Big room, there’s columns out of sight, so it’s long. Unfinished space then … or space that’s been renovated into something else. There’s a door opening behind him and he doesn’t move, doesn’t let it startle him and instead focuses on the footfalls. Slightly to his left.

Heavier set, walking idly, trying to intimidate. Heel first and brutal. 

Bucky tips his head back and rolls his neck. 

“Can I help you?” 

There’s a chuckle and he can tell the voice is muffled which means they’re wearing a mask - disguising their face. Could mean they’re identifiable? Watch list? Someone he might know? 

“That depends, Sergeant Barnes, on what you’re willing to do for me.” 

Bucky shrugs and stares straight ahead, “not a lot I can do tied to a chair.” 

“No, there isn’t,” the voice says cheerfully, “it’s what you’ll do when you’re freed that counts.” 

“Probably can’t do much then either.” 

A gloved hand slides over his left shoulder and Bucky has to bite down on the urge to recoil. 

“Oh?” 

Before he has a chance to say anything, fingers dig into exactly where the bullet went right through him and he grinds his teeth together to keep from flinching or making a sound. 

“Didn’t think a little thing like this would take out the best sniper in the 75th~” 

They’re teasing him and Bucky stares dead ahead, refusing to give in, forcing his breathing back down and then narrowing his eyes, “it was a personal choice,” he says. 

“I see.” 

They release their hold and come around to face him, kneeling down in front of him and sizing him up. 

“Well you serve two purposes, Barnes,” they say conversationally. “You’re either going to bait someone else we want or you’re going to be re-conditioned yourself …. Or both!” 

They’re smiling behind the mask and Bucky scowls. 

“Bait? Buddy I think you sincerely overestimate how much I’m worth…” he rolls his shoulders back to test the bindings and to stretch his tired muscles and gives his captor a look. “Re-conditioning it is then, huh?” 

“That what you’re offering?” 

“No one is going to come get me,” Bucky points out sensibly. If this were an Army operation they might send someone in eventually but the chances of that were low, unless he were an especially high ranking intel officer or it was well-publicized for some reason. Neither of those is the case. He’s just some has-been grad student who got picked up by white terrorists in London. By the time they send people to get him it’s going to be a recovery op and not a rescue. And Steve… Steve doesn’t have any authority here. Bucky knows what this is. 

Body versus Person. 

This might at least buy him some time.

“Then let’s begin,” his captor says, standing up and leaving Bucky alone again. 

Men in lab coats come for him and he’s allowed to bathe, change into soft sweats and use the bathroom. Then they take him into an anechoic chamber and he realizes what’s happening just a split second after the door is bolted shut. 

The full effect in person is so much more frightening than anything he’s read about before. The walls are padded with deep foam and he already can’t hear anything the second the door falls shut. It’s so deep and all encompassing that Bucky swears he can feel it on his skin. It’s unnerving but he knows why they do this. 

Swallowing, Bucky moves towards the middle of the room, laying flat on his back and closing his eyes. 45 minutes will drive you insane is what they’ve said about this place. That’s what he read about it. He doesn’t know how long they’ll leave him in here. 

After …. _after_ … 

God it’s interminable thinking about what could come after this. Bucky can hear his blood moving in his veins it’s so quiet. Every creak in his body is amplified and he thinks he’s at his breaking point. There’s no clock, nothing that can make sound is allowed inside so he’s down to just his body giving him the passage of time and he can’t trust it because in the void of absolute silence his body is failing to respond. 

He takes a deep, shuddery breath. Astronauts have to do this, he reminds himself. They have to train for the void of space so they come to the anechoic chambers to feel what it’s like. They encompassing nothingness. He slows his breathing again. Closes his eyes. Just pretend it’s space. This is space. Free-floating, untethered space. 

What would Steve tell him to do? Probably to calm down and think through it all, to just take it one step at a time, to use his head, to be the smart boy he knows Bucky is. Fuck, is Bucky really smart if he fucking got kidnapped out of his group trip? Do any of them even know he’s missing? 

Right, right, calm… calm… calm. 

He doesn’t know how long he ends up being in there, how long he walks himself down from the edge, how many times he has to picture Steve in front of him talking him through it. But eventually someone comes in and drags him to his feet. Bucky feels numb but he isn’t in a position to argue. He goes willingly, and then they start the tests. 

It feels familiar but unfamiliar all the same and Bucky just wants to go back to that place in his head where he used to work out of when he was in the military. He hated being in there but he’s scared if he doesn’t go there, he won’t make it through. 

Closing his eyes he tries to find some in between because he doesn’t want to forget any of this but he’s got to survive at the same time. Fuck he hates this. 

They take him first to pain tests, a room where he’s sat in a chair but not restrained. Instead they put him through a number of different tests where they push him to the limits of his pain threshold. Pain Induction Methods is what he sees on a clipboard and a list of trials. 

He recoils but it’s no use, there’s nowhere to go except for through. Pain tests, one after the other to see how much he can take. 

_A lot._

Startle response tests that see if he’s still on a hair trigger or if he’s this side of stable. 

He sits perfectly still. 

Bucky’s fed oatmeal and tea - bland foods - and left to sleep in a padded cell with no lights or windows. He is totally alone and no one has spoken to him except to assess his state or adjust fixtures on his body or taunt him to try and provoke something out of him. It’s all been unsuccessful. 

He knows what they’re doing though. 

It’s an isolation torture, one used to crack people by way of deprivation. Bucky’s been trained for this though and frankly he doesn’t think his captors understand how much he likes being left alone to meditate and wipe his own mind. 

The key is figuring out what it is they want from him, what signs they’re looking for in him as a measurement of completion or surrender. He studies himself and tries to remember what it feels like to be blank. The moment that he was behind a rifle and he had to let complete calm take him over. Steve would probably call it a form of subspace - sinking somewhere inside himself where he’s calm and motivated to serve but he hates thinking of it like that. He only wants that place to feel good; to be something that Steve gives him. This is something else then.. 

Bucky lets himself fall into a kind of meditative half sleep. His unit used to do this on patrol when they were in a high risk area, someone on watch but the rest of them always sort of in a half-awake state so if they needed to move they could do it in a hurry. When the door cracks open later, he opens an eye and doesn’t even twitch a muscle. 

“You need something?” Bucky asks casually. 

“Moving on to the next phase,” the person says. They’re neutral in the approach, not malicious or sarcastic and they lean down, helping him to his feet and lead him out the door without restraints. 

Bucky thinks they’re probably trying to see if he’ll make a bolt for freedom or attack anyone so he doesn’t. 

 

“Where do you want me?” he asks instead.

“We’re going to take you to the range, Soldier.” 

The first captor appears out of the shadows in all black, his face covered and he’s holding a tranquilizer gun. Hm. They were going to sedate him if he went to town on anyone which means they’re hellbent on keeping him alive. 

“What’ll I be shooting today?” 

“A few things,” the man says, “we’ll decide when we get there.” 

Inside the range, the table is laid out and Bucky glances down at the array of guns in front of him. There’s everything from a handgun all the way up to a tripod long range rifle and … then some. He knows all of these … most of these. There’s one or two at the end that he’s never seen before and he narrows his eyes at them and points wordlessly. 

“Experimental technology,” he says. 

Bucky makes an ‘o’ face and then reaches for the handgun, tests it’s weight and slides on the provided glasses before slipping off the safety and aiming down range. 

It takes a few tries to get back into the right stance and relax but when he finds it, it’s muscle memory and his body acts on instinct. 

One. Two. Three. For. Five. Six. 

He clears the chamber, drops the empty magazine out and sets both down, calling the target forward. Perfect cluster. 

Bucky’s captor whistles. 

“Still got it,” he says appreciatively. 

“Bold of you to assume I ever didn’t have it,” Bucky says, swapping targets out and sending the new one out as he picks up a big sniper rifle. 

“We never suspected you lost it,” his captor says, “more like we knew what we were working against.” 

Bucky fires off a few shots and gives the man a confused look, “working against? We’re on the same side, pal.” 

His captor laughs, “not quite~” he sing-songs. 

Another shot. 

“Yeah? How’s that work out then?” Bucky asks.

Another shot. 

“What do you know about blackwater?” 

Bucky shrugs, shifts the gun and lowers his shot to go for the heart, “mercenaries. Highest bidder. Paid security. I mean I _know_ but it’s not like they go around talking about their full out training regimen. Don’t want to be caught with their dicks out.” 

“Do you think your side is really the highest bidder?” 

Bucky falters and holds his shot to look over at his captor, “....no?” 

“No! Not even close!” his captor shoves off the wall and takes the rifle from Bucky and then picks up one of the experimental guns, helping Bucky heft it up and figure out the trigger mechanisms. 

“We had to buy ourselves some time, you were getting a little too close.” 

Bucky swallows and nods. 

“Must’ve pissed someone off, huh?” he says delicately, rolling his bad shoulder back and then lifting the bulky gun again and aiming it down at the target. 

“Wouldn’t say you pissed them off,” his captor says, “you just got noticed. We were looking to recruit you.” 

Bucky fires off a shot and it goes straight through the head of the target. He sets the safety and lays the gun down on the table in front of him. 

“A sniper?” Bucky snorts, “you can get one of those anywhere.” 

The man tsks. “Not just any sniper, Barnes. The best sniper in the world. We saw what you can do in the field. We weren’t shooting to kill… just wanted to move you off the board for a minute - let you think about things and then come back to you with a better offer when the time was right.” 

“This your offer?” Bucky asks. 

“This is seeing if you’re psychologically fit to accept it.” 

Bucky nods, “that’s fair. War really fucks you up, you know?” 

“It does. The funny thing is we never expected where you’d end up or who you’d end up with… that’s just icing on the cake.” 

Bucky frowns, “Starbucks?” 

His captor claps him on his good shoulder and laughs, and then pauses as an alarm goes off. Then his smile turns feral. “I guess you’ll see first hand.” 

Bucky’s confusion is evident and he backs away slowly, one hand hovering over the table of firearms and the other stretched out in front of him to keep some space between him and his captor. Before he can make a decision, arms wrap around him and restrain him in a rush and he complies but not without a little struggle. 

“I can help you!” he shouts. 

“Not this time,” his captor yells back, snapping up one of the handguns from the table and jogging up a flight of metal stairs. 

Bucky’s manhandled down into a chair, this one bolted to the ground and he’s strapped in place with restraints that go across his arms and legs, even one across his chest. 

“This feels entirely unnecessary for a willing captive,” he hisses. 

The woman in the white lab coat shrugs and gives him a sneer, “can never be too careful.” 

Bucky immediately dislikes her. He dislikes her even more when two minutes later she’s injecting him with something that stings in his veins and makes him cry out. It’s got to be some kind of sedative or relaxant because as soon as it really hits him he’s sagging against his bonds and blinking heavy eyelids. 

“Fuh-huck,” Bucky slurs, sinking into the chair and trying to grind his teeth together to stay awake. 

What happens next is a blur to his drug addled mind. There are screams, shots fired, the lights flicker in and out overhead and cast the room in ghostly shades of emergency red and fluorescent. Bucky’s head lolls back and something closes around his face. He can feel something in his arm and he shakes a little as the cold saline drips in and clears his veins. 

There are shouts from the man who he has identified as his captor.

‘HURRY! HURRY!’ 

Interspersed with more gunfire and an explosion that has debris falling out of the ceiling around them. The woman who is working over him curses under her breath and lines up a series of injections, tightening the straps on his arms to keep him still. 

There are seven syringes and she pushes each one in succession and something like death overtakes him. 

Bucky screams but he can’t hear himself making the sound; he tries to rip himself free but he can’t move; he halfway thinks it’s all in his head but it’s not. It’s happening to his body he can feel it, he can feel everything and as the last syringe clatters to the ground the woman collapses but Bucky doesn’t see what took her down. 

There are muffled voices. People talking into what Bucky knows have to be comm lines but he’s hovering at the edge of his consciousness and can’t piece it all together. 

“Prisoner secured, they’ve got him sedated and strapped to a chair.” 

“Moving in to assess.” 

Boots on the floor and then there’s another voice. 

“Move.” 

Bucky has one eye barely open and he lolls his head to the side to make sure he’s really seeing who he thinks it is. He mouths Steve’s name, but nothing comes out except a garbled ‘ee’ sound and then there’s big, familiar hands on him. 

“Buck -- hey Bucky,” Steve is standing over him and ripping the restraints out until he’s freed and then he’s just fucking lifting Bucky out of the chair and into his arms like he doesn’t weigh anything. Bucky can’t do anything but sag into Steve’s embrace and when he feels Steve clutch at him and whisper ‘I’ve got you baby’ into his hair, he stops fighting to stay awake and lets it go.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Bucky's recovery!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Bucky spends some time in the hospital and he and Steve have to have some really up front talks about what is going on. I don't think the hospital stuff is too triggering since there's not much medical discussion involved, it's mostly glossed over as this story is Bucky's POV and most of the time that Bucky is there he's passed out! If you find something really scary though, let me know and I can tag for it.

When he comes to, he’s in a hospital room, but it’s nicer than any hospital he’s ever been in. They’ve got him hooked up to any number of monitors but it’s not sterile and scary, it’s sort of warm and quiet and he’s clearly in a private room. He turns his head and Steve is situated in a chair by his bed in black tac gear, holding an ipad and he looks up as Bucky stirs. 

“Hey sweetheart,” he whispers, setting the ipad down and already moving up so he can sit on the edge of the bed to get closer. Steve leans in and kisses Bucky’s forehead, brushing his knuckles down the side of Bucky’s face. “How do you feel right now?” 

Bucky swallows and reaches up to touch his throat, “thirsty,” he rasps, and Steve reaches past him to get a cup of water and ice chips, bringing it back to him with a soft look. 

“Do you want me to move back to the chair?” Steve asks, waiting for Bucky to drink his fill before taking the water back and setting it on the side table. 

Bucky shakes his head and squirms in the blankets, frowning and then patting the tiny area beside him. “How…” his voice is rough and he wonders how long he’s been out for or what they did to him while he was out for that to have happened. He clears his throat and tries again, “want you to lay here with me.” 

Steve’s smile is so open and gentle and he just nods and tries to maneuver the bedding around before he’s helping Bucky move and situate them both in the tiny bed. They make it work by Steve laying on his side and Bucky stretching more on his back but the feeling of security it gives Bucky makes him relax immediately. They share a pillow and cuddle close to one another with Steve touching him wherever he can and Bucky clutching at his side or his hip, wherever his hand will reach. He thinks if he stays just like this, no one else can get him. 

“You came n’ got me,” Bucky mumbles, already slipping back into sleep. 

“I said I always would,” Steve says, kissing his cheek. 

The next time Bucky wakes up he hears hushed voices over him. 

“He’s fine now.” 

“Yes, thank you, I can see that,” Steve says, “but I’m not letting him out of my sight again, Nat.” 

“Yeah?” She doesn’t sound impressed and it takes Bucky a minute to parse that _Nat_ is talking to _Steve_. “And how do you think he’s going to like that?” 

“He’s going to like it just fine,” Bucky slurs, turning into Steve’s chest and yanking at some very uncomfortable lines that make him wince but make him just as adamant at his destination. 

Steve shifts around to accommodate him and strokes over his back with a low hum. 

“You back with us?” Steve asks gently. 

“No,” Bucky grouses. 

Natasha snorts and he can hear the sound of a chair scraping up beside them. “You gave us quite a scare, Barnes.” 

“I had it under control,” Bucky says petulantly. 

“I know you did,” Steve says, rubbing between his shoulder blades, or what he can reach. Bucky can hear Natasha sighing in the background. 

“Did you tell him?” she asks. 

“Tell me?” Bucky asks, lifting his head. 

“Later,” Steve says with a soft, placating smile. 

Bucky just smiles back and puts his face into Steve’s chest with a groan and he goes right back to sleep. 

It continues like that for a few days. Slipping in and out of consciousness and conversations that he doesn’t fully remember later. It’s a strange place to be in but eventually he comes out of it. Steve is in jeans and a soft sweater, sitting in the chair next to him and holding his hand as Bucky really wakes up to the world. 

“I need a bath,” he complains. 

Steve snorts and pushes himself up, leaning down and kissing Bucky’s forehead. “I’ll call the nurse.” 

Bucky whines and shakes his head, “you do it.” 

“I don’t know if I’m allowed to, darling,” Steve says. 

Bucky gives him a look, “when did you ever obey rules?” 

Steve starts to open his mouth and then stops, closes it, and nods, “you’re right, but you’re hooked up to a lot of things and I need to make sure I don’t disconnect anything vital.” 

“Fine,” Bucky pouts. 

A nurse is called and she helps get Bucky ready for the transfer, and starts to hover until Steve waves her off with a “I got it” she looks a little uncomfortable but then backs out with a: 

“If you need help, just pull the cord in the bathroom.” 

“Will do,” Steve says politely. Then he reaches down and scoops Bucky up into his arms and carries him into the bathroom to help get him undressed and settled into the bath. It’s very clinical and weird and not at all sexy and Bucky tries to keep himself covered with his hands until Steve wraps him in a towel so that he doesn’t feel too exposed. 

“They didn’t leave too many marks,” Steve says off hand. 

“I pretended to cooperate,” Bucky says as Steve turns on and adjusts the water temperature. “I thought it would help me gather intel.” 

Steve sits on the edge of the tub and runs his fingers through Bucky’s admittedly very disgusting hair. “I knew something had happened when you didn’t text me about getting to your hotel room,” Steve says. He rolls up the sleeves of his sweater and reaches for the soap and an empty cup to scoop water with. 

“I don’t know what happened,” Bucky says, suddenly lucid for the first time in days. “I was drinking with friends and I felt really drunk all the sudden and one minute I was in the bathroom stall trying to figure out how to call you to tell you to come get me and the next I was … there.” 

Steve angles Bucky’s head back and pours water over it, making a low sound as he works at getting his hair completely soaked. Bucky closes his eyes at the sensation and sighs. 

“They said they noticed me in Afghanistan… said I was the best sniper in the world but they wanted to move me off the board for awhile.” Bucky’s nose scrunches as he tries to remember anything else. “They made it seem like they’d been watching me for a long time, like I was … I don’t know being stalked.” 

Steve works shampoo into Bucky’s scalp and Bucky groans because it feels so good to be getting clean after days of laying in a bed stewing in his own filth. 

“We think they _were_ stalking you,” Steve says carefully, “you’ll be debriefed officially later, but I don’t believe in keeping you in the dark. They seem to have been keeping tabs on you after you took out some of their elite snipers.” 

“That tracks,” Bucky mumbles. 

Steve works the soap into his hair and out through the tips before reaching for the water cup and then just letting out a sigh, “Buck… they…” 

There’s a sudden, sharp knock on the door and Steve jumps. 

“You alright in there?” it’s Nat and Bucky calls back. 

“Fuck off.” 

“Love you too!” 

Steve huffs out a laugh and goes back to rinsing Bucky’s hair out, using both hands and being careful to keep it out of his eyes. 

“I was scared,” Steve admits, “I knew we could get you back but I wasn’t sure what condition you’d be in… what they’d have time to do to you.” 

“They injected me with a bunch of stuff at the end,” Bucky says, flexing his arms and wincing because he still has an IV line in. “I don’t … I don’t know what it was but it hurt so bad-- Steve it--” 

“Shh… I know baby,” Steve leans down and cups his face in both his hands and kisses him, “I know. They aren’t going to get you again, you’re not going to be out of my sight for a minute…” 

Bucky nods, nosing at Steve and just hovering there in his space, letting Steve console him and take care of him. This is what he wants, this is what he thought of in the soundless chamber to keep himself sane. He lets the quiet drip of the water, the slosh of the rag and soap all drown out everything bad until he’s clean and Steve is helping him to his feet and wrapping him in a towel, drying him off in the bathroom and helping him into some clean scrub pants. Bucky opts out of a shirt and lets Steve help him back to bed. 

Natasha goes to cede her seat but Bucky just points at the bed and Steve hops up first and then helps Bucky climb into his lap and settle there. 

“Can I at least brush that rat’s nest of hair?” Natasha asks, standing up and digging around in a bag by her feat for what must be a comb. 

“I’ll allow it,” Bucky says. Steve chuckles and shifts so that Bucky doesn’t have to move or strain to much to be available to Natasha. She works the brush through his strands and even has some kind of conditioning spray because it doesn’t hurt or pull that much. Usually when his hair gets too long, Natasha is the one who shows him how to braid it out of his face or style it so he doesn’t look like a, quote, ‘creepy hobo’ so this is really par for the course for them. Still, he can’t help but think of what it would feel like to have Steve do it. 

Nat puts it up in a little bun and leaves him alone and this time when the door opens a doctor comes in with the nurse and assesses the whole situation with little more than detached medical professionalism. Bucky only pays half attention because both Nat and Steve are battering him with questions and frankly, Bucky will get the cliffs notes version later. But he does hear ‘discharge in the morning’ and that makes him sigh in relief because he’s ready to be out of this place - wherever they are - and get back home in his own bed. 

Well, Steve’s bed actually… which he should probably ask about sooner rather than later. 

Nat sticks around for dinner and then leaves them alone. Bucky squirms around to get comfortable after the nurse connects another bag of fluid and Steve rubs his back. 

“What is it?” he asks. 

“Tomorrow … when they let me out …” Bucky rubs the bridge of his nose and then threads his fingers with Steve’s like that’s going to give him more courage. “Can I go home with you?” 

Steve… well… he melts. He wraps his arms around Bucky and holds him close, nosing into Bucky’s hair and squeezing the back of his neck possessively. Bucky arches into him and tries to get closer even though he can’t because of all the lines and monitors still attached to him.  
“Yeah, yeah you sure can,” Steve manages to say, finally. His voice is a little hoarse and Bucky just ignores it in favor of burrowing closer. He feels better knowing, like it’s safe to sleep now that he knows he goes home with Steve in the morning. 

*****

Someone shows up as they’re in the process of discharging to ask Bucky to a debrief at CIA HQ and Steve literally says “absolutely the fuck not” to their face which is something that Bucky would probably never in his life do and expect to live. But not only does Steve not get tased to the ground… the person who asked looks a little afraid and says ‘of course sir, we’ll set a date that better fits with you and Mr. Barnes’ schedule sir’ and evaporates as fast as he appeared. 

Bucky gives Steve a look from his wheelchair (mandatory) and then puts his sunglasses on and just decides to ask later. It cannot possibly be worth the trouble. Not when Steve has a car picking them up to take them to the air-- wait. 

Bucky squints. 

“We’re in DC.” 

Steve looks down at him and raises an eyebrow, “did you think… Bucky where did you think we were this entire time?” 

“I … honestly I didn’t know? I sort of assumed maybe a US base in the UK?” 

Steve exhales slowly and then kneels down next to Bucky, “we brought you back to the US as soon as you stabilized on the ground. I don’t think you were lucid for any of the transfer but you were sort of awake?” 

“I don’t remember any of that,” Bucky admits shakily. 

“We’re fairly close to home, actually, I … lets get you home, then I’ll explain everything okay - I want you in a safe place first.” 

Bucky nods and lets Steve load him up in the car and then reaches out to hold his hand as soon as Steve joins him back there. 

They ride in silence and Steve holds his hand, rubbing over his knuckles and keeping him grounded and in the present, Bucky doesn’t want to talk until they’re home, he’s just saving up his energy and really trying to gather his thoughts - go over the last … however many days in his head.

At the house, Steve helps him in, excusing the driver and then the two of them sit in the living room on the couch, Steve facing him and reaching out to run a hand over Bucky’s thigh gently. 

“Where should I start, sweetheart?” 

“At the top. You said they’ll debrief me but I don’t want to go in still in the dark.” 

“Alright,” Steve scoots closer and seems to brace .. himself. 

“What do you know about E.H.T.S.?”   
Bucky scrunches his nose up, “that it exists? Enhanced Human Tactical Support, right?” 

Steve nods, “do you know what it means, what the program is about?” 

“Mm, no,” Bucky looks down at his hands and frowns, “I know they ran parallel missions with us overseas, but I never saw them, never heard anything about them. If we were running black ops they were something way deeper cover.” 

Steve strokes over Bucky’s thigh and squeezes at his knee, “EHTS or ‘8s’ is a UN peace keeping initiative made up of elite agents from around the globe.” 

“World police?” 

Steve offers a rueful smile, “not exactly. More like a last resort. We mostly work within our own country’s rules and divisions but occasionally come together for international missions.” 

Bucky looks up at his face and meets his eyes. 

“We?” 

Steve nods, taking in a deep breath, “I’m not… we’re not allowed to tell _anyone_ , Buck. When I got recruited not even my Ma knew and she died never knowing a thing. I never wanted to keep this from you and I’ve been talking to my superiors about letting you know since before you left but there was a six month waiting period for security vetting and clearances before they could approve it.” 

Bucky swallows carefully and shifts closer to Steve, “what does the ‘enhanced’ part mean -- what do you do when you’re out there, how do they--” 

Steve hangs his head and takes Bucky’s hands in his hand squeezes lightly, “Enhanced means that _I’m_ enhanced. I don’t age as fast, but I heal more quickly. I’m stronger, faster, better than the average human. It’s .. it’s ludicrous it was an experimental program in the 40s…” 

“You’re from the 40s?” Bucky huffs out a breath and Steve shakes his head quickly. 

“No honey -- no, I’m a newer model.” 

Bucky makes a sound at Steve’s bad joke and Steve gives him a watery smile. 

“I was born in 1961. In 1979 I went through the enrollment program for 8s. I was accepted, I was operated on and I came out the other side like this. They told me I’d be better in every way but there’s a lot of side effects they didn’t mention like not getting old like your friends, being lonely sometimes and not having anyone to talk to about what it is you’re going through…” Steve shrugs and reaches out tentatively before Bucky leans into the touch, letting Steve know he’s not scared of him, of what he is, just confused. Just concerned. 

“Why are you telling me this now?” Bucky asks quietly. 

“You know two other 8s operatives,” Steve says, stroking over Bucky’s scalp and just staring at him like he’s scared Bucky might disappear and okay that’s valid considering what they just went through. “The people who took you - HYDRA? - the man who caught you was a former 8 and we think they enhanced you against your will.” 

Bucky searches Steve’s face and then looks down at his arms then back up to Steve. 

“Is that… the chair at the end - the injections…” 

Steve nods and looks heartbroken for Bucky and then pulls back, hanging his head but leaving one hand on Bucky’s thigh. 

“I tried to get there faster, I’m so sorry, Buck - we worked as quick as we could when we figured out what happened and it just … it wasn’t enough.” 

Bucky takes a steadying breath and then crawls over into Steve’s lap, getting as close physically as he can, wrapping his arms around Steve’s shoulders, burying his face into Steve’s neck and letting out a broken sob when he feels Steve’s arms wrap back around him. 

Steve strokes his back, steadying and even, his face pressed into Bucky’s hair, the two of them just sitting on the couch as Bucky cries and tries to let the entire thing out at once. He’s scared - of fucking course he’s scared - but he’s confused and frustrated and he’s mad that someone made Steve feel bad, that he got captured, that this happened. He wants to rewind a week, he wants to go back to when he was here the night before he left and Steve was holding him like he owned him, and it was just the two of them. 

It takes awhile for Bucky to cry himself out, the tears eventually subsiding out into dry sniffles that leave him hiccuping into Steve’s shoulders as Steve holds him closer still. There’s part of Bucky that’s terrified that this is it - that Steve has to cut him loose after this because he knows and he’s panicking a little. Maybe this is some huge conflict of interest or … fuck. 

“Steve,” Bucky pulls back and knows he looks like a blotchy mess but he can’t help it and he’s not going to hide it now. If Steve can deal with him in a hospital, he can deal with him crying about getting kidnapped. 

“What is it, Buck?” Steve asks, pushing Bucky’s hair back and Bucky gets a good look at Steve and sees his red rimmed eyes. Fuck this can’t be good. 

“Do… I don’t want to… I don’t want to break up,” he says finally, voice small and quiet. 

Steve’s eyebrows furrow and he hoists Bucky close so they can really look at each other. 

“Baby,” Steve says, brushing tears off Bucky’s cheeks with his thumb, “I have no intention of breaking up with you. None. You said once that I’m not very good at following rules and I’m not -- it’s why I was pushing them to fast track your clearance so I could tell you about my designation earlier. But I want to respect what you’ve been through and that the age difference is more than you bargained for and if you still want me after everything that’s happened--” 

“Why wouldn’t I?” Bucky interrupts. 

“Because I had to keep my work from you, and that wasn’t fair, I had to lie about my age to keep up appearances.” 

Bucky frowns and noses close, giving Steve a kiss, “I know why you did what you did, it’s the same reason we couldn’t tell family back home where we were deploying to, or say certain words when we called friends back home on the phone. You wanted to tell me and I know you were trying to get permission to tell me. I get it, this wasn’t personal… it wasn’t to hurt me, it wasn’t to hide things from _me_ and you wanted to tell me and were going to and I understand it… I guess,” Bucky swallows and sags, “just tell me you still have feelings for me.” 

“Bucky I -- fuck I wanted to tell you every time you were here, I wanted to tell you every day and yes,” Steve growls, pulling Bucky so close to his chest that Bucky feels it ache a little, “yes fuck I still want you, I went a little off the rails when you went missing, it wasn’t my finest moment I have to admit.” 

Bucky smiles and buries his face into Steve’s shoulder as Steve clutches at him harder, holding him tight, “I thought about you to keep myself calm while they had me. I thought about what you’d tell me to do.” 

“Sweetheart,” Steve breathes it out and strokes into the short hairs at the base of Bucky’s skull, “I immediately reported you missing, I called your roommate, I involved MI:6 it was embarrassing how fast I went to worst case scenario and I know now it was for the best but I was so worried about you. I know you’re capable, I know what you can do but _I_ felt helpless.” 

“I kind of did too,” Bucky says quietly. “I didn’t … I didn’t think anyone was gonna come.” 

Steve leans back and cups Bucky’s face, stroking over his cheek, “Bucky I will always come get you. It’s not something you ever need to worry about, not with me, honey.” 

“I was scared.” 

“I was too,” Steve says, “I just wanted you back with me.” 

“I’m here now,” Bucky says. They look at each other for a long moment and it feels very raw like an exposed nerve. Bucky shifts uncomfortably under the scrutiny and then pushes at Steve’s hair, softening at his confused look. “Can we go lay down?” 

“You can, I need to go make some calls,” Steve says, giving Bucky’s neck a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “I want to make sure no one bothers you until you’re ready.” 

“Steve, you said I know two other 8s….is it Nat and Clint?” 

Steve exhales and nods slowly, “they can tell you their enhanced status and recruitment stories but yes. It may or may not be related to why HYDRA was interested in you.” 

Bucky thinks it over and tries to piece it all together in his mind, the course of the last few days, or however long it’s really been and then he remembers … that he doesn’t remember. 

“How did I get back to the States?” 

“Ah,” Steve clears his throat, “after we picked you up from HYDRA you were, what we believe to be, in the stages after enhancement which are critical for the serum to take. When it was first developed it was painful and very fast acting but over the years it’s been refined to be painful but less so, and slower acting. They think it helps the body better adjust to the changes… however, you typically end up in a kind of coma afterwards which needs close monitoring to insure that you aren’t going too far one way or another. You’re lucid during this time - think twilight anesthesia - but you might not remember it. You were in this phase when we rescued you and you were airlifted back to the US on a medical transport.” 

Bucky looks down at his hands and then at Steve’s body with a frown, “I don’t feel any different, and I don’t look like you at all… does that mean the serum didn’t work?” 

Steve shakes his head, “it looks different for everyone. It’s made to enhance what’s already there… which is why Natasha is very svelte and nimble and tiny because that’s what she was when she took the serum. She’s also one of our more gymnastic operatives and one that we use for missions that need someone to go into tight working conditions.” 

“Is she your age?” Bucky asks. 

“No, she is the age she says she is, that’s also an issue with the serum. The aging effects are not universal… only about 4 of us so far have been on the receiving end of extended lives…we don’t know yet if you’ll be one of those people.” 

Bucky puts his face into Steve’s chest and shakes his head, “I don’t want to be alone. Can I sit with you while you take calls?” 

Steve’s arms tighten around him again as he kisses into Bucky’s hair, “yes. Please.” 

*****

Steve puts off a debrief for 48 hours and Bucky is grateful for the reprieve from the real world. It lets him settle back into reality but he can kind of ease himself into it with Steve beside him instead of going in head first alone. Steve has groceries delivered, lets Bucky help him cook, watch tv, they even sleep in a bit; and Bucky finally gets to go skinny dipping in the hot tub on the second night back. Steve turns off all the outdoor lights so that just the low spa lights are on and Bucky clambers in, the steam rising off the surface as he soaks down to his neck against a series of massaging jets. After a few minutes Steve joins him and they look at the stars together, trading slow, drugging kisses and pretending that they have nowhere to be. 

By the time Bucky is rolling into bed he’s already half asleep and Steve is curling up around him protectively, kissing into his shower-damp hair and holding him close. 

“I’ll be with you every step of the way tomorrow,” he promises. 

“Cuz you’re the best Daddy,” Bucky slurs, already half-out of it. 

He doesn’t hear what it is that Steve responds with, just drifts off with a feeling of safety, security, happiness, and of being wanted. 

Steve lets him sleep late in the morning - taking a shower first and getting ready before he’s waking Bucky up and helping him out of the covers, a hot cup of coffee already on the bedside table just for him. 

“Hey sweetheart,” he says, “time to get up, I pulled out an outfit for you if that’s alright?” 

“Yeah, course,” Bucky says sleepily, pushing off the bed and into Steve’s arms for a hug and then pausing when he feels covered tactical plates and -- Bucky takes a step back and rubs at his eyes. “Whassit?” 

Steve wrinkles his nose up, “special forces suit - you usually don’t see me in field operations gear… this is my UN diplomatic one…” 

Bucky raises an eyebrow and blinks a few times, “you have multiple tactical suits?” 

“Mmhmm,” Steve motions to a closet that Bucky had never really been in - he’s not much for snooping honestly and well, Steve hadn’t given him permission so….. “A few… I can show them all to you later, it was suggested I wear this one in today though.” 

“Are we in trouble?” Bucky asks. 

“No, not at all, doll,” Steve smiles and reaches out for Bucky, stroking over his cheek, “they just want me to look a little professional and threatening for some of the people coming in. I’m basically _your_ security detail.” 

Bucky quirks a tiny smile at that, “you look pretty hot to be security detail…” 

“It’s all very practical, I assure you, Mr. Barnes,” Steve says, brushing invisible lint off his abs. 

“What about that harness thing?” Bucky asks, motioning to the brown that’s crossing over Steve’s shoulders that doesn’t seem to serve much of a purpose because it’s definitely not a gun holster. 

“Mm, typically it’s used for additional armaments but since we’re in-house today I just have side arms,” Steve motions to his hip and Bucky nods, standing up and brushing a finger along the harness curiously. 

“Kind of like this.” 

“We can always play with it later,” Steve offers, sliding an arm around Bucky’s waist and giving him a squeeze, “but for now we need to get dressed and go in.” 

Bucky sighs and glances at the outfit that Steve put together for him and shakes his head, “did you get all my things back from London?” 

“Your roommate, Sam? He packed your things up for you and brought them back with the rest of the class … the driver got them from him the other day actually.” 

“Fuck he’s such a good guy,” Bucky says with a sigh, “I really owe him one I hope he didn’t worry too much about the bar thing…” 

“He was pretty shaken,” Steve admits, “and I don’t know what the agency has told him with regards to the situation so you’ll have to be careful when you talk to him about it but just know he’s a very good man. A great friend … we should have him for dinner sometime if you like? Maybe we can have a few of your friends over if you want…” 

Bucky smiles and shrugs, “maybe… I don’t know if I’m ready for a crowd just yet.” 

“Well, when you are,” Steve says, “the offer stands.” 

Bucky nods and takes his coffee and clothes off to the bathroom to get ready, standing in front of the mirror for a long moment and trying to rationalize it all in his head. He’s had a long couple of weeks… Part of him knows he’s compartmentalizing some of the trauma, but part of him is also aware that… he’s just letting himself be fucking open about it. When he first went to war, every time he came back there was such a toxic atmosphere of celebration, of having to hide if you were hurt or scared and instead putting on either a mask of joy or blank acceptance. But with Steve he’s allowed to be vulnerable and sad and scared, he doesn’t have to hide that he’s rattled and that he’s not okay and he doesn’t have to worry that if he’s any of those things Steve will think less of him. 

So while there’s still processing for him to do, and he knows there’s got to be loads of it, he feels kind of okay. He feels like he can face things and that he’s going to be alright because he’s got Steve and Nat and Clint… hell he’s even got Peter if it came down to it. Bucky reaches for the tooth brush and nods to himself in the glass. He can do this, it’s just one step at a time and Steve’s going to be there with him through all of it. 

*****

For the first time, Bucky enters the CIA HQ through a back edifice that he could’ve sworn was a closed off loading dock for service deliveries but which turns out to be an entry point for secured vehicles. Vehicles like Steve’s. Their car is flagged through and then parked in an underground garage and Steve exits first before holding out his hand for Bucky and helping him out and then putting a proprietary hand on the small of his back as he leads him towards an unassuming fogged glass door. 

It’s all very standard. Checkpoints. IDs. People buzzing him through one place to the next until he’s being ushered into a conference room and someone in a suit is asking Steve to stay outside. Steve gives the man a smile but Bucky knows he doesn’t mean it and Steve’s hand never once drops from Bucky’s back. 

“I don’t think so,” Steve says politely. 

“The Assistant Director--” 

“Can take it up with me directly, but seeing as how I don’t take orders from him, I don’t know why he’d possibly be giving any,” Steve says, already gently nudging Bucky back into the conference room and letting the door shut behind them with a soft snick. 

Steve pulls a seat out and Bucky sits down in it, looking up at Steve warily. 

“Do you really outrank the Assistant Director of the CIA?” 

Steve smiles but he looks embarrassed, “I outrank a lot of people but you’re not here to talk to the CIA.” 

Bucky blinks and then makes an ‘ah’ face, “8s.” 

Steve nods and squeezes his shoulder reassuringly. He doesn’t sit down but instead hovers by Bucky’s shoulder, waiting in a parade rest position that Bucky can’t help but find oddly arousing. He doesn’t have time to dissect that though because all the sudden there’s a clamour of voices and the door is opening as people rush in. He isn’t sure whether or not he should sit or stand but Steve helps him out by resting a hand on his shoulder and applying just the slightest pressure so that Bucky stays down and instead looks around at the men who gather at the table. 

“Mr. Barnes,” a man on his left says, “Director Fury,” he motions to himself and then he points across the table, “Assistant Director Pierce.” 

The man goes to hold out his hand to shake and Steve must make some kind of motion because all at once Pierce withdraws and sits back looking annoyed. 

“Very well,” he says, “unpleasantries aside then… this is about James Buchanan Barnes and--” 

“Stand-by--” the door opens and there’s Natasha in a smart pants suit followed by a tall brunette woman in a black tactical bodysuit who looks like she’s recently snapped a man’s neck. The two of them sit down at the table looking irritated and are joined in short order by another woman with strawberry blonde hair and a no-nonsense strut and her personal assistant or second in command who looks rattled and has his hair tied back in a low dark pony-tail. 

Fury smiles and Pierce scowls. 

“No one told me the meeting moved,” the woman with strawberry blonde hair says. She’s not happy but she masks it with such polite professionalism that Bucky feels stung. Her words are directed to Pierce and Fury raises one eyebrow and nods towards him as if rolling him under the bus is his honest to God given right. Bucky supposes that as the Director it probably is. 

“Alexander said he had an emergency come up this afternoon.” 

“Very well….” the strawberry blonde woman flips open her notebook and reveals a high end tablet with stylus. 

Fury clears his throat and motions to her, “Pepper Potts, CEO of Stark Industries, her intern Loki Laufeyson; to her right Maria Hill, Chief 8s Liaison and Field Designated Response Personnel and to _her_ right, Natasha Romanov, EHT.” 

“Charmed,” Natasha says without looking up. 

“Is there any reason Rogers is in this meeting?” Pierce asks, pointing his pen at Steve. 

“Security,” Steve says simply. 

“It’s a closed-door meeting with essential personnel only, Commander--” 

“He was invited,” Fury says with an air of dismissal, not even looking up at Pierce. “Let’s move on so you can get to your emergency situation at home, shall we.” 

Pepper snorts delicately into her coffee and Bucky tries not to smile. He thinks he likes her. He thinks he likes everyone at this table aside from Pierce. 

“Let’s start from the top then,” Fury says, “Hill?” 

Maria flips open a file in front of her and clears her throat, “HYDRA picked up subject J.B.Barnes at St. Stephen’s Tavern in Westminster, London; he was taken to a HYDRA bunker outside of Wales and held for approximately 2 days where he was tested and administered what we believe to be the super soldier serum. At this time it’s unknown the extent of his enhanced status and is up for contract with EHTS.” 

She makes a mark with her highlighter and looks around the table. 

“Those are the main points.” 

“I just think we’re rushing into this,” Pierce says, folding his hands in front of him and looking at Fury, “we have some unstable veteran who turns up in HYDRA custody stuck full of syringes, that sounds a hell of a lot more like a drug overdose than an EHTS recruit.” 

Bucky bristles and Steve gives him a soft squeeze. Is he supposed to talk? Is this -- is this meeting just about sitting here and listening to these people say this shit about him? Is Natasha going to speak up for him. He glances in her direction but she’s stone faced and watching Pierce. 

“We can confirm it was the serum,” Pepper says, tapping at her tablet and glancing up, “Loki?” 

Loki nervously pushes forward a file folder and Pepper takes it from him, sliding it to Fury who flips it open and nods appreciatively. 

“Impressive - your lab works fast.” 

“Well, we developed the serum so it’s easier for us to analyze and track the samples as well as identify the markers in tissue,” Pepper says. She glances over at Maria and Maria scribbles a note in her file before looking over at Fury. 

“Mr. Barnes?” Fury asks. “Would you like to add anything?” 

Bucky scowls, “I’d like to know why I’m here.” 

Everyone looks at him a little startled except for Natasha who looks sort of vaguely pleased. 

“We’re considering recruiting you to be an EHTS member, Mr. Barnes,” Fury says with what might be a smile of some sort - he certainly seems happy at the very least. Pierce on the other hand looks like he’s swallowed tacks. “However, right now we’re here to discuss the best way to keep you safe.” 

“Keep me safe?” Bucky asks, “from what?” 

“Well, as your trip to London indicated, you are apparently a pretty sought after commodity these days… and that was before they gave you the serum,” Fury says, perching his chin thoughtfully on his hand. “Now though, we’re a little extra worried about what might happen to you if you aren’t under the protection of our division.” 

“With all due respect, sir,” Bucky says, glancing at Fury and Pierce… the latter of which makes his skin crawl, “I think I can handle myself just fine.” 

“Be that as it may,” Pierce says, flipping through Bucky’s file, “it’s not a risk we can take again. They were after you before but as Director Fury says, now that they’ve enhanced you…” 

“You’ve got a built in system though,” Fury says, cutting in, “you live with two of our top 8s and you appear to be …. Close…. With a third.” 

Bucky’s mouth thins into a tight line because he isn’t sure where this is going and he’s not sure what it is they’re trying to insinuate. “Well, that’s great and all and I appreciate the concern but as you pointed out, it seems I’m covered. So can I go check in with Carol at Starbucks about my hours next week? If I’m going to keep living with those two top agents I’ll need to pay rent.” 

“About that,” Fury says, stroking over his stubbled jaw and looking thoughtful, “it seems like you should probably move into something a little less public-facing within the agency, just to give _them_ less chances interface with you, less opportunities to pin your schedule and that kind of thing….” 

“I have school,” Bucky starts to protest. 

“We can work around that,” Fury says, pushing up out of his chair and motioning to Hill. “We have an understanding then, Mr. Barnes?” 

Bucky just shrugs and Fury nods, standing up, “dismissed then.” 

Pierce shoots him a look and leaves in a flurry of annoyance, but after he’s gone everyone else who appears to have been faking how busy they were instead crowds around Bucky. 

“So nice to meet you James,” Pepper says, holding out here hand, “I’ve heard so much about you from Natasha - it’s terrible what happened to you in London but should you ever need anything, we’re just a call away.” She reaches back to Loki who holds out a little SI branded bag and she hands it to Bucky with a sympathetic smile, “I can’t imagine what you’ve been through - all my contact info is in there, darling. Steve - so good to see you! I hope you’re going to RSVP to the gala?” 

“We’ll consider it,” Steve says, and Bucky can hear the smile in his voice. 

“We can always set aside an anteroom or something,” Pepper says, gently, “after the -- with Tony… we usually just… well you know. He and Dr. Rhodes usually need a quiet space to step off into at these things.” 

“You’re the most considerate person I know,” Steve says. 

Bucky’s trying to listen to their conversation while watching Loki who seems to be taking him in with keen eyes. He seems young but old at the same time and Bucky can’t seem to place an age on him at all. He’ll have to ask Steve about it later - it’s a little unnerving. Natasha appears next to him and shakes her head. 

“I hate Pierce,” she hisses quietly, “you did amazing in front of him he’s such a dick.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me anything about him!” Bucky says and then covers his face and shakes his head, “nevermind I answered that myself. I get it.” 

Natasha pats his shoulder and dips into the conversation with Pepper and Steve as Maria sits down next to Bucky and shakes his hand. 

“Agent Hill,” she says by way of introduction, “good to meet you.” 

“Likewise, are you … going to...actually why don’t you just tell me what you’re going to do and we’ll go from there.” 

Maria smiles, “you’re going to give me your school schedule and I’m going to make sure you have security coverage between that and some hours here at 8s and at home.” 

Bucky …. Exhales. He really thought it was going to be a lot harder than this - that what they were going to ask him to do was going to be insurmountable but it’s actually not so bad. 

“Do you have a preferred residence? Natasha informs me you … stay with both Commander Rogers and with her and Clint?” Maria asks, pulling out a couple of forms to make notes. 

Bucky starts to say Natasha and Clint and then freezes up and frowns, “I’ll uh, can we just go with both for now? I just kind of go where I feel like…” 

Maria nods, “that should be fine to start with, we’ll work out the finer points later.” 

She takes the files and shakes Bucky’s hand again, “we’ll send you a tentative schedule for the rest of the week if that’s alright - though of course you can be as flexible as necessary with your mental health and school needs, Mr. Barnes. Commander Rogers has been assigned to you to start with and has agreed to be your detail.” 

Bucky nods slowly, and watches her go before he’s turning around to find Steve still standing there, back at parade rest now that everyone else has filtered out. He takes a minute to appreciate him in his tactical suit - the tailored navy blue with a few hints of silver and white venting to accent his designation. 

“I heard you’re my security detail,” Bucky says with a little smile. 

Steve gives him a soft look, “Buck… I told you… I won’t let anyone--”

“Wait you’re dating HIM,” Clint wheezes out, coming around the corner. Bucky jumps and Steve looks between the two of them as Clint immediately switches into sign language. 

_Do you know who he is?!_ Clint signs emphatically. 

_S-T-E-V-E_ Bucky fingerspells back in absolute deadpan. 

Nat laughs, patting Clint on the shoulder and Steve sighs, dropping from parade rest to sign to both of them, _he knows._

Nat punches Clint’s shoulder and shakes her head signing, _I told you he was seeing Steve._

_I didn’t know it was THAT Steve_ , Clint huffs. 

_He makes me happy_ Steve signs to Clint and Bucky isn’t sure he’s supposed to see it but he does and it makes him soften, sidling closer to Steve so he can rest a hand on his waist. 

_Be good to him_ Clint scolds. 

_No shovel talk!_ Bucky signs back with emphasis. 

Nat laughs and pulls Clint towards the door, but Clint breaks free and gives Bucky a hug, pulling him in tight and clutching at him hard. It’s the kind of hug they used to give each other when they saw each other after black out missions. There’s relief in that hug and Bucky returns it, so happy to see his friends and glad to know more about their work, happy to share more in their lives. He’s never ever begrudged them the secrecy of their jobs - he understands - but he feels a weird sort of relief now that he knows. Even if he can’t protect them, he still feels a sense of ease. 

Steve looks over at him and Bucky sighs, “can we go home?” 

“We can, would you like to go back to your home or--” 

“I want to go back with you, please, if you don’t mind?” Bucky checks to see if anyone can hear them and then gives Steve a look, “I don’t want to be alone yet…” 

Steve reaches out and threads their fingers together which feels weird with his gloves, “of course.” 

That’s how they walk out to the waiting car; Steve holding his hand and kissing into his hairline not caring that anyone could see, that anyone might be watching. It’s one of the things he likes so much about Steve. 

“When we get back home,” Bucky asks, halfway into the drive, “can we make lunch and then will you …can we maybe take a nap?” 

Steve’s lips quirk up a little as he glances over at Bucky, “is that a cute way of you propositioning me?” 

Bucky turns pink to his ears and Steve’s smile widens, “you never have to be coy with me, sweetheart.” 

“I just want to… this harness is kind of giving me some kind of emotion,” Bucky admits, looking out the window so he can avoid how ridiculous this makes him feel. 

Steve chuckles next to him and strokes over his thigh, “I can leave that and nothing else on if you’d like?” 

Bucky’s head snaps to the side as he stares at Steve, “yeah?” 

“Oh, I would like nothing more,” Steve says, voice low.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is shield harness porn and nothing else. No really that's the entire chapter. ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE. Don't worry there's a lot more plot coming up but I wanted to do something nice before I go under. 
> 
> Seriously this is disgusting porn like nasty crygasm possessive daddy porn. 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> alright dive in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends I have surgery on Friday and as my outgoing gift to you before I go get wrecked by my doctor - here's like 3,000 words of filthy porn. 
> 
> BON VOYAGE MOTHER FUCKERS.

Bucky manages to not make it to lunch first and Steve nods, lets Bucky pull him back to the bedroom instead under the premise that he just needs to work up an appetite first. Steve kisses him, deep and thorough, hands spreading over Bucky’s back as he pulls him close, both of them standing at the end of the bed. 

“Lay down and jerk yourself off,” Steve says, kissing at Bucky’s jaw, “I’m going to kick most of this off and then I’m going to take care of you.” 

Bucky bites his lip and tugs at Steve’s belt, “can I finger myself?” 

“Do you want to?” Steve asks, petting down Bucky’s flank and reaching around to squeeze his ass, “you know I love doing it.” 

“Mmn just kind of impatient to have you in me,” Bucky admits. 

“Then you can do whatever you want sweetheart,” Steve reassures him, kissing him gently, “God I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Go change,” Bucky bosses, pushing at Steve with a smile and then twisting away to get the lube out of the side table. Steve laughs and goes, and Bucky can hear velcro and zippers as Steve disappears into the en suite. 

He leans over into the side table and pushes around the contents looking for the lube but freezes as his hand falls on a pale blue box tied in a white ribbon. Bucky wouldn’t be nosy, he wouldn’t even look twice and keep going but there’s a card on top and in very fine printed script it says ‘ _Bucky_ ’ and he hovers, unsure. Was he supposed to find it? Was it for a special occasion? Was Steve not going to give it to him? Maybe he was going to take it back… 

Bucky pulls it out and holds it, staring down at the box and swallows nervously, his hands shaking. 

“Baby?” Steve is halfway into the room and Bucky didn’t even hear him - the static in his head so much louder. 

Bucky’s hands fall back from the gift box and Steve makes a surprised sound as he sits on the edge of the bed. 

“I completely forgot about that…” 

Bucky looks over at him and he looks so good. He’s down to nothing but tight black boxer briefs, and the brown leather and nylon harness that practically hugs his shoulders and chest. But all Bucky can think about is the stupid blue box. 

“Was it--” 

“Open it,” Steve says, laying a hand on Bucky’s thigh and rubbing gently. “I was going to give it to you when you came back from your trip...when I picked you up at the airport and then everything else happened and it just. I just forgot.” 

He squeezes gently and Bucky slips the card free and holds it up with a questioning look. 

“Box first, then card,” Steve says. 

“Alright.” 

Bucky pulls the white ribbon free, then pulls the thick heavy lid off the box. The black embossed lettering that marks the top of the box is also on the leather bag inside. Nestled on top of the cotton padding is a big drawstring bag that Bucky lifts and then opens, looking in and paling before looking up at Steve. 

“Steve…” 

“Shh… I wanted to.” 

Bucky sighs and shakes his head, disbelief evident as he reaches in and withdraws a heavy rose gold chain that clinks because his hand is shaking and he’s nervous and can’t quite put it all together. The links are heavy set and gorgeously thick, and two charms adorn it - a heavy ball and lock that carries the Tiffany & Co. stamp. 

Steve clears his throat and looks … well … kind of nervous, “I think we mentioned a little something more permanent than bruises… and this felt perhaps less obvious than a traditional collar.” 

“Is it for me? Really?” Bucky asks, holding it up towards Steve. 

“Sweetheart,” Steve leans in and gives him a chaste kiss, “it’s _just_ you.” 

Bucky lets the necklace fall to the bed so he can grab Steve’s face with both hands, pulling him in for a more thorough kiss, a kiss that really fits a gift like that. Bucky understands what it means, what he’s signing up for and it’s not that he needs the physical reminder but he wants it and the fact that Steve went out of his way to find something for him that beautiful… fuck he really really adores his boyfriend. 

“Help me put it on,” Bucky says, pulling at one side of Steve’s harness. “Then I want to say thank you.” 

Steve chuckles and fishes the necklace off the blankets and works the clasp open, “get the card, baby.” 

Which is funny that Bucky forgot about it but he reaches for it now, rifling through the box and ribbon until he finds it again and then he tugs it free - just a tiny thing, maybe no bigger than a business card and solid white with the same loopy, fine script as the front. 

_When you’re ready_

“I am,” Bucky says, putting the card in the open box and pulling on Steve’s wrist. “St--” he freezes and then meets Steve’s gaze and licks his lips. _Oh_ , he knows how he should actually be doing this. How he really _wants_ to do this. “ _Daddy_ ,” Bucky growls, tipping his head back and exposing his throat, “I’m ready.” 

Steve makes a low sound and reaches out, quickly connecting the two ends and clipping them together before dropping his hands and running them over Bucky’s bare chest and kissing him. Slow, inexorable, the pressure of it pushing Bucky back down to the bed until Steve is covering him completely and the necklaces weight shifts against his throat and pulls a little. 

“Mine,” Steve says, kissing at the corner of Bucky’s mouth and then down into the juncture of jaw and throat. “ _Mine_.” 

Bucky’s hands jump off the bed and his fingers slide under the bands of Steve’s harness, “your good boy.” 

“Fuck, Bucky,” Steve groans, nosing closer and shoving away so he can grab the lube that Bucky was too distracted to get earlier. As soon as Steve rolls back over to him, Bucky spreads his legs and lets Steve settle in between them. 

Just the weight of him there, holding Bucky in place is amazing and Bucky groans, wrapping his hands over Steve’s shoulders, tugging at the harness again as Steve slicks his fingers up and reaches down between them to start teasing at Bucky’s hole. The slick deep press of Steve’s fingers as he pushes in first one and then two; distracting Bucky with deep sweeping kisses as he goes. 

“Oh fuck,” Bucky moans, the words getting lost in Steve’s mouth as he winds his hips and grinds down on Steve’s fingers. “Daddy… more” 

“You wanna be full, is that it?” Steve asks, kneeling up more for the leverage to push his fingers as deep as he can and watching Bucky’s eyes flutter shut. 

“Mmhmm,” Bucky bites his lip and lets his legs fall open and knows he makes an inviting and pretty picture because Steve shoves in a third finger and curves them up to give Bucky just what he wants. 

“Gorgeous,” Steve whispers, “nnfuck sweetheart, wanna split you open on my cock.” 

“Fuck!” Bucky shouts, coming in a rush as he squeezes down on Steve’s fingers, yanking at his harness. Steve makes a startled sound, catching himself on the bed with his free hand as Bucky whimpers through the aftershocks and when Bucky looks up at him, Steve’s eyes are wide. 

They’re both breathing heavy and Steve blinks a couple of times, “well that’s … new…” 

“You think!?” Bucky swallows, his muscles feeling loose and awkward, as he shakes his grip out on Steve’s harness. “Nngh what was that!?” 

Steve clears his throat like he’s trying not to laugh and he situates himself more comfortably and then fucks Bucky languidly with his fingers again making Bucky cry out again and scramble on the bed. 

“It helps if you breathe through it,” Steve says conversationally, a wry smile playing over his face. 

“NNNnnnnhnnnn!” Bucky’s whole body feels like it’s on fire, little shocks of pleasure rocketing everywhere and he wants it to stop and he _never_ wants it to stop. “Daddy!” 

“Seems like side effects of the serum,” Steve says, screwing three fingers in deep. Bucky gasps and fists his hands in the sheets, his legs falling wide open. “Goddamn, baby…” 

“Fuck me,” Bucky rasps, simultaneously trying to get away from and get more of Steve’s fingers in him, “fuck me, _fuck me_.” 

“I am,” Steve teases back, rocking his fingers back in just to prove his point. Bucky makes a frustrated sound and Steve must take pity on him because he shifts on the bed and pulls his fingers out and when Bucky looks down, Steve is fisting his own cock, slicking it up and Bucky feels dizzy. Actually honest to god dizzy. 

“Yeah… yeah… y...YES!” Bucky moans and grabs back on to the harness as Steve angles himself down and pushes inside him in one easy slide. It makes all the buildup feel worth it, has him absolutely lit up and Bucky is floating on that feeling. 

The drag of Steve’s cock in him, that deep, satisfying pull, the friction, the building pressure, Bucky screws his eyes shut tight and wraps his hands tighter into Steve’s harness already whimpering. 

“Oh no… oh no. _Oh no_ ,” Bucky whines, a low sound, his thighs trembling, his abs clenching up and then when Steve angles his hips to brush Bucky’s prostate he’s coming again. His body clenching around Steve even as he shoves at his shoulders and gasps. That desperate push-pull to get more and make it stop. Like the pleasure is overwhelming for him and he’s going to die if it ends or if it doesn’t end. 

“Nnn…” Steve makes a sound and flexes his hands on Bucky’s hips, just barely rocking into him and Bucky slits his eyes open to watch. It’s quite a fucking picture - Commander Steve Rogers - disheveled and kneeling between his legs in nothing but that fucking harness just barely fucking into him and biting his lip. He’s flushed down his chest and looks like he’s holding back but Bucky is so gone he doesn’t want that. 

Bucky smooths his hands down over Steve’s chest, feeling the harness crossing over his shoulders and fuck it’s so hot. Something he can grab hold of and use to keep Steve close. It makes him squeeze down around Steve and he gasps at the sensation. Two orgasms with barely being touched?

“You feel so good in me,” Bucky moans, arching up and letting his eyes roll back in his head, “Daddy you feel _so_ good.” 

The noise Steve makes is almost feral, he leans forward over Bucky and kisses him deep, fucking into him harder and faster for a minute - getting friction on his dick that he must crave and it ratchets Bucky’s pleasure up all over again making him absolutely ache. 

“Fuck, sweetheart,” Steve nuzzles into his throat and Bucky can feel Steve’s teeth grip and tug at the chain of the necklace. He snaps his hips in and out; hard and deep and it makes Bucky cry out, his thighs twitching and tightening around Steve’s hips to hold him in. 

It’s possessive and a little frantic. Bucky’s fingers wrapping against the straps of the harness, Steve grabbing whatever part of him he can reach. The two of them panting and moaning as Steve speeds up and takes what he wants, what he needs, as Bucky squirms and whimpers. He’s on a knife’s edge already and all he can think about is coming apart like this - letting Steve own him so thoroughly - and he breaks apart with a shout. His hands locked under the harness, trapped against the hard planes of Steve’s back muscles as he clenches and spasms around Steve’s cock. 

Bucky can feel tears prickle at the corners of his eyes and it feels absolutely ripped out of him - the third orgasm that makes him feel like he’s blacking out and it drags Steve over the edge too. He can feel Steve’s come inside him, hot and filthy and filling him. 

“Daddy!” Bucky cries, pulling at the harness again. 

“Mine,” Steve growls, still fucking Bucky hard and fast until Bucky feels him tense a second time and then he gets it. Oh fuck. OH! The fucking increased stamina...the refractory -- he never questioned it but now he gets it. He flops back uselessly to the bed, panting, sweaty - an absolute wreck but he feels incredible. 

When Steve slips out of him, Bucky winces and then tries to snap his legs closed but Steve shoves them apart again and gives him a stern look. 

“No,” he says with all this authority that has Bucky swallowing and feeling some kind of way, “that’s mine too and you’re going to let me enjoy it.” 

The punched-out sound that Bucky makes is embarrassing as fuck but he can’t help it and he pushes up on his elbows to watch as Steve first pushes his own come back in with his fingers and then he’s leaning in and using his tongue. 

That part has Bucky falling back to the bed with a ragged moan, both of his hands fisting into Steve’s short blonde hair as he cants his hips up and shuts his eyes tight. 

“Fuck… OH fuck!” Bucky shouts, raking his fingers through the sweaty strands and seeing stars behind his eyelids as Steve works his tongue in deep and eats it all right back out. 

“I’m-- I’m c-- oh fuck Im -- oh fuck I can’t I can’t believe I’m--” Bucky is stuttering over his words, heaving in air and curling up like a pillbug. All it takes is one of Steve’s hands palming over him and Bucky goes off dry, coming and coming and coming - shaking through it with a hoarse sound as Steve relentlessly eats his ass out. It’s so intense he’s crying, so fucking good he thinks he’s going to actually die but if he does … what a fucking way to go. 

When he unclenches his muscles and flops to the bed, Steve pulls back and kisses the inside of one shaking thigh. Starting soft and then biting down, sucking a dark livid bruise into the skin that has Bucky whimpering a little at the torment - but he’s too fucked out to do anything about it. 

Steve sits up and smirks and Bucky stares up at him with a garbled sound. 

“Four times, huh?” 

“Fuck off,” Bucky whines, turning red and covering his face. He hears Steve laugh as he gets off the bed and when he comes back it’s with a warm washcloth to clean him up a little. Something that Bucky allows all too easily. Steve kisses his cheek and pushes his sweaty hair back from his face. 

“I’m going to clean up a little and make lunch, would young sir like to take it in bed or can he be bothered to join us in the kitchen after such a work out?” Steve teases. 

“You know,” Bucky says, voice absolutely wrecked, “you’re the worst.” 

Steve just smiles at him and kisses his forehead, “I don’t know what I’d do without you, baby.” 

They’re quiet for a minute, Steve gently finger-combing Bucky’s hair and then pulling back like it pains him. 

“Lunch, okay?” 

“Mmhmm,” Bucky rolls onto his side and watches Steve shrug the harness off and toss it towards where the rest of the uniform must be. He disappears in the bathroom and Bucky listens to the sounds of him washing up for awhile, somewhere in a half-dozing state before he reappears in a pair of joggers and a tee shirt, motioning towards the kitchen. Bucky just nods and when Steve is gone he peels himself out of bed and decides to join him. 

There’s a moment in the bathroom where he stands in front of the mirror, bruises here and there but the heavy weight of the necklace around his throat is what draws his attention. The contrasting rose gold against his naturally olive skin… it seems delicate but still has a weight to it and he runs disbelieving fingers over the links. This is his. It means he’s Steve’s. He shivers at the implication, a little thrill of excitement running under his skin before he turns away and steps into the still-humid shower stall.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is for KatAtomic on twitter who was feeling sick and under the weather so I was like hey, I'm going to finish this absolutely filthy porn for you. 
> 
> Also I left it on a minor cliffhanger but that's because I wanted to post the next bit of porn as stand alone. 
> 
> You're sort of welcome????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Bucky goes to EHTS! Clint plays with firearms! Sam makes fun of Bucky! We meet Bucky's teacher (who is friends with Steve!?)! 
> 
> Oh and there's some fucking filthy sex. Did I mention filthy sex? It's filthy sex. I mean you're here for that though so I don't know why you're shocked. But it's nasty. YAY!

The next day Bucky wakes up in time to go to the office but when he’s sitting down at breakfast he just … gets nervous. It’s not that he doesn’t want to go to work but up until yesterday he thought he was going to be going back to Starbucks and making lattes with Peter and now he’s got to really rethink his whole current set up. It’s not that he isn’t grateful for the higher pay and their willingness to work around his school schedule and all … and the obvious protection from these HYDRA psychos but he really … he just misses the simplicity. 

Steve pushes the sugar towards him and Bucky sags in his chair. 

“I kind of don’t want to go in?” 

“You don’t have to,” Steve says giving him a significant look. “This week is all transition, Buck - you can go in late, you can skip, you can stay for an hour. Whatever you want, you’ve been through a lot and no one expects you to be perfect.” 

Bucky looks up at him and feels stupid for not even being able to go in to an office job, “are you sure?” 

“I am, and if anyone has anything to say about that, they can go through me,” Steve says politely, sipping his coffee. 

Bucky quirks a smile and nudges Steve’s leg under the table. “Yeah? Daddy’ll have something to say about it, huh?” 

“You have no idea,” Steve says darkly.

Bucky actually barks a laugh at that and then stirs his own coffee, adding in a little extra sugar because he can and picking at his food. He’s hungry, almost obnoxiously so, but it’s like he can’t quite get up the nerve to eat; his body at war with itself. When he keeps pushing things around without actually eating any of them, Steve leans over and strokes over his hand. 

“If you can’t eat now, let’s put it up and when you feel like it, it’ll be waiting for you in the fridge,” he smiles and gives Bucky a squeeze and it feels … better. Makes the chattering anxiety in his chest die back down for a moment. 

“Yeah,” he says, sitting back and then getting a burst of energy and sitting up, “can I -- I feel like hm,” Bucky runs his fingers through his hair and shrugs, “I feel like I’m going fifty directions at once, Steve - is this… is this the serum?” 

Steve is in the middle of cleaning up plates but he nods, “probably - it’s been a long time since I went through it and they’ve made changes to the serum over time so… also everyone reacts differently. Why don’t you sit in the hot tub, it might help with the muscle spasms and I can do some work?” 

Bucky nods and rubs at his shoulder, heading towards the bedroom and then startling when Steve stops him with a gentle hand at his hip. 

“Don’t put anything on,” he says, voice low at Bucky’s ear. 

“Mmm, ulterior motives!” Bucky says, turning for a kiss. 

“Can you blame me?” Steve murmurs, kissing at Bucky’s shoulder and reaching for the hem of his shirt, “may I?” 

It’s not their usual M.O. but it feels kind of nice to let it go for the day, and Bucky feels weird and outside of his skin anyways so it’s kind of nice to change things up. Maybe it’s a distraction, a way for Steve to help Bucky adjust to all the changes, but it still feels good like this. Having Steve undress him in the middle of the kitchen - shirt over his head and onto the floor before he’s stepping in close to push Bucky’s pants down over his slim hips - watching them pool to the floor. 

“Gorgeous boy,” Steve says, pulling Bucky towards the patio doors, “mind if I…?” 

Steve trails his fingertips along the elastic of Bucky’s underwear and tugs over one hip. Bucky just nods and lets Steve take everything off of him, leaving it like a trail as they head out towards the hot tub. 

“Settle in while I go get my work,” Steve says, kissing Bucky on the cheek and reaching out to hit a couple of buttons to get the jets started. 

“Will you join me if you finish early?” Bucky asks, tugging at Steve’s shirt. 

“I sure could,” Steve says, tracing his fingers over Bucky’s throat and the collar. “But I want you to have a few minutes to relax.” 

They smile at each other and Bucky tips his face up for another kiss before they part ways. 

*****

When it’s time to get to class, Steve dresses casually, dark skinny chinos and cashmere sweater over a fitted button down. He looks totally unassuming although distractingly attractive and Bucky sighs, looking at him from where he’s sitting on the end of the bed and tying his shoes. 

“Do you really have to wear that?” he asks. 

“Do you not like it?” Steve asks, sliding his hands into his pockets. 

“No, that’s the problem, I like it a little too much and I feel like I’m not going to be able to concentrate with you nearby looking that way.” 

Steve chuckles and leans down, kissing Bucky’s cheek, “be good in class and maybe we can play a little when we get home.” 

“Mmm… that’s very motivating,” Bucky concedes. He stands up and wraps around Steve, hugging him close and putting his face into Steve’s shoulder, “you’ll be right there the whole time?” 

“Right outside the doors, no one comes in or out without me noticing and if you feel threatened you can just hit the panic button on your phone.” 

Bucky slides the screen up and shows the app to Steve and Steve taps it showing Bucky how it sends an alert directly to his phone. 

“And then I come get you,” Steve says simply. 

At school, Bucky hovers outside the door for a minute, going over some of the protocols with Steve one more time just to ease his nerves. He’s still not really 100% okay with being in a group of people, although admittedly his class size is smallish so it’s not as bad as it could be, but still. Steve is in the middle of assuring him that he can step out whenever he needs to when the professor walks up and immediately pulls Steve into a hug. 

“Long time no see,” Professor Rhodes says, slapping Steve on the back as Steve makes an excited sound. 

“How are you doing!” Steve exclaims, stepping back and giving Bucky’s profesor a once over. “You look great - I see PT has been treating you well.” 

“Yeah well, Tony stays on my ass about it,” Professor Rhodes says, “so what’s got you out here in my neck of the woods?” 

Steve motions to Bucky and Professor Rhodes looks like he’s doing complex algebra, “shit ….” 

“I’m guessing someone briefed you,” Steve says, looking a little embarrassed. 

“It was kind of a need to know but… since he’s my student I was read in pretty thoroughly,” Professor Rhodes turns to Bucky and gives him a kind smile, “you can’t imagine how worried we were when you got picked up in London. If there’s anything you need during this adjustment period, please don’t hesitate to ask.” 

“Thank you, sir,” Bucky says, quietly, “how uh… how do you two know each other?” 

Steve laughs and runs a hand through his hair, “Tony, Professor Rhodes’ husband and I used to work together at 8s. Professor Rhodes occasionally came in as a consultant because he’s a policy and diplomacy expert unlike some of us.” 

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Professor Rhodes says, crossing his arms over his chest, “but also I just really like teaching .” 

“Well you’re really good at it,” Bucky says. 

Professor Rhodes makes a little half-bow and Bucky motions towards the room, “should I go … take a seat?” 

“Yeah, lets go ahead and get underway, Steve, you going to stay out here?” 

“I’m his security detail, so yep.” 

Professor Rhodes shakes his hand and they part ways, Professor Rhodes following Bucky into class. It’s a little strange realizing his advisor and teacher is on a first name basis with his boyfriend but he supposes DC is a small place and when you start narrowing the window for advanced experts in geopolitics it gets even tinier… it’s strange though, knowing that Professor Rhodes and Steve are friends kind of puts Bucky at ease in a weird way. Like he feels safer knowing that his teacher has some kind of knowledge of the situation at an advanced level and isn’t just being read in on the basics. He’d always known Professor Rhodes was a badass but this really just proves it. 

Bucky cringes as he scribbles a note in the margins because he definitely remembers that he’s heard Professor Rhodes’ husband called an overbearing jerk .. among other things… and Steve just said that they were close friends. He hopes that’s not going to be too weird later. Bucky raises his hand to answer a question and distances himself from that line of thought in a hurry so that he can stay on top of his notes and classwork. 

At the end of class, he’s standing up to leave when he gets tapped on the shoulder and finds Sam standing next to him. 

“Oh man!” Bucky sets his stuff back down and throws his arms around his London roommate, getting an enthusiastic return. 

“You scared the shit out of me, you know that?” Sam hisses, clapping him between the shoulder blades as they separate. 

“Yeah I’m sure it wasn’t pleasant,” Bucky says with a grimace. He realizes he doesn’t know everything that they’ve told Sam but he guesses it can’t have been everything. “Sorry about just…” he flutters his hands to indicate that he disappeared and Sam exhales loudly. 

“I know what it’s like to have PTSD, to feel a little out of time and place occasionally, I just didn’t expect it to hit you so suddenly or so fiercely that you’d have to drop for the week,” Sam squeezes his shoulder and smiles gently, “you know you can ask for help if you need it, right?” 

Bucky… honestly feels like a piece of shit for what he’s about to do but he knows enough about covert ops that he understands it’s what’s best. 

“Thanks Sam,” he says, reaching up and giving the other man’s hand a squeeze back, “I hadn’t… traveled abroad before outside of the war and it just got me so fast and I was confused… I’m sorry I did that to you.” 

“You can make it up to me,” Sam teases, nudging him with his elbow. 

“Yeah?” Bucky asks, somehow genuinely invested in making a friendship with this classmate especially after what he put him through. If Sam wasn’t ready to throttle him after that then he was obviously a keeper. 

“Yeah you can be my partner on the next project that Rhodes has us assigned for please AND thank you,” Sam says, tapping Bucky in the chest with a rolled up syllabus.

“Oh thank God,” Bucky exhales, “I didn’t want to get stuck with Chad 14 again.” 

Sam snorts a laugh and stuffs his papers in his bag, “I had a feeling you might be against such a match up and I was here to save your ass from such a fate.” 

“You ready?” Steve asks, sticking his head in the mostly empty room and smiling. 

“Yeah! Sam and I were -- Sam,” Bucky grabs Sam by the elbow and motions to Steve, “my boyfriend -- this is my boyfriend Steve. Steve this is Sam my classmate I had to bail on because of the … the meltdown.” 

Steve comes in and offers his hand to Sam with a grin, “it’s so nice to finally meet you, thank you again for helping get Buck’s things together for us… that was such a help - he really wasn’t in a place to do any of that and you were a saint.” 

“It was my pleasure - great to meet you too!” Sam seems to blink at Steve a couple of times and then looks at Bucky, “you didn’t tell me you were dating a superhero.” 

Bucky barks out a laugh and Steve blushes which just makes Bucky laugh harder, “he’s a lowly CIA paperpusher,” Bucky teases, threading their hands together, “but he’s okay.” 

“Oh, thank you for the vote of confidence,” Steve sasses back. “Sam, you’re welcome at the house any time, you seem like a nice, respectful man unlike Bucky.” 

“It would be my honor, sir,” Sam says, a hand over his heart, trying to hold back a laugh, “I’ll bring the burgers.” 

“Beer’s on me,” Steve says. 

“Hey!” Bucky nudges Steve and gives Sam a look, “see if you like doing that lit review yourself, huh?” 

“Don’t be like that B-Boy!” 

*****

It takes a couple of days for Bucky to work up the nerve to go in to the office but when he does, he thankfully has Steve there and Steve even wears tactical gear for the effect. 

“I have a feeling this is overkill,” Bucky says, eyeing the suit that’s laid out on the bed as Steve comes out of the shower. 

“Well, it’s a little self serving,” Steve admits, letting his towel drop and giving Bucky more than an eyeful. It’s kind of delightful and more than a little tease. “I know how much you like it and thought it might help distract you from the whole experience.” 

“I mean, I think it’s going to take more than you in a fancy tactical suit to be distracted,” Bucky points out, even though he’s yet to stop staring at Steve. 

“Mm, I was hoping you’d say that,” Steve says, rubbing his hands together after he tugs on his underwear. Bucky is… sad...about that. “To keep you focused and to maybe build some anticipation through the day, how would you feel about some rules? A little game?” 

Bucky raises an eyebrow and crosses his legs at the ankle, leaning back on the bed and giving Steve a slow once over. “Go on.” 

Steve smiles at him and reaches for the base layer of his suit as he talks, a kind of reverse strip-tease that still makes Bucky hot and bothered all over. “Today, I know you have to be all there and really present,” Steve steps into the pants and pulls it all up in one go, letting Bucky get a good look at him, “but tonight, if you want, no questions, no choices, when we get home _I’ll_ take care of you.” 

The sound Bucky makes isn’t one that he’s proud of but the way Steve casually talks about wrecking him while he’s getting dressed fires something off in his hind brain and makes him flush down into the collar of his shirt. 

Steve pulls on the jacket layer that seems to be comprised of little panels of anti-ballistic shit but when the planes of lay over his muscles it just emphasizes how fucking gorgeous and thick Steve is all over. 

“You can still use your safe words and if you change your mind and don’t want to do anything we don’t have to, but I thought a little incentivizing might help you get through the day.” 

“I’d love that, Daddy,” Bucky says, his hands flexing against the bed because he’s afraid if he doesn’t keep them down he’s going to do something absolutely inappropriate and delay them getting into the office. 

As Steve pulls up the invisible zipper and clips the utility belt on, he steps over and kisses Bucky’s cheek, “I would too, baby.” 

*****

When they walk into the conference room, it’s a lot friendlier a reception. Maria is leaning against the table and there’s coffee and donuts behind her that she motions to and the three of them sit down together. The atmosphere is totally different, Steve feels relaxed next to him, Maria even feels super casual, sliding him a folder and then rifling around through the donuts to find her favourite before sitting back and leaning in her chair. 

“Most of this is just standard onboarding paperwork - you can do it while we wait - typical NDA stuff - you talk we kill you etc,” she says cheerfully. Steve chuckles on his other side and Bucky stuffs the paperwork back in order to look over more carefully.

“What’s all the stuff we have to do today?” 

“Mostly acclimate you to the facility, get you access cards, set you up with identification, register you in the database that kind of thing. After we have that we thought we could run you out on the range for a bit with Barton.” She looks thoughtful and flips through some of her own papers before looking over at him, “we do need to do some lab work on you but that usually goes down better if you just skip our team and do it straight with the Stark Industries lab.” 

“I can take him over there tomorrow maybe?” Steve offers and then looks at Bucky, “or any other day this week if you like?” 

“Yeah, we can make an afternoon of it or something,” Bucky says, glancing back over the basic paperwork. “This seems really scant for a top secret government agency,” he notes absently. 

“Well, we were able to access all your records from the military and of course when you started at Starbucks so… that kind of cut down on some of the more unnecessary duplication there.” 

Bucky raises an eyebrow and looks at Maria, “my Starbucks application was used for this position?” 

“Hey, it asks all the same basic info - name, social security number, dob, past job history, and all that - same basic shit we ask too.” 

Bucky snorts and reaches for a French Cruller, tearing it in half as he glances at the other stuff to fill out and sees Steve reaching for one of the top forms, idly filling in the things he knows for Bucky as Bucky snacks. It’s one of those incredibly small things that shouldn’t mean anything but it really hits him right in the chest that Steve knows this kind of thing can be overwhelming and instead of waiting to see what Bucky can or can’t do he just sort of does what he knows will help. It sends a flood of warmth all through Bucky’s body and he thinks about all the ways he can say thank you to Steve later. 

While he’s filling in the blanks that Steve couldn’t the door behind them opens and Clint pokes his head in, looking practically giddy which never bodes well for anyone. He taps his ears and smiles, “you ready?” 

“We’re mostly done with the paperwork portion… it’ll take me a minute to run it all in the database you want to take him to the range while I do that then we can trade back so I can get his access cards?” Maria says, shuffling papers without looking up. 

“Yah,” Clint wiggles his eyebrows and winks at Steve, “you wanna play too?” 

Steve sighs and leans back in his chair and Bucky takes a minute to appreciate his dark blue tactical suit again. Jesus whoever does the tailoring needs a raise. 

“I guess, I don’t really like using guns,” Steve says, “but it’s always good to stay adequately trained for when the need arises.” 

“That’s the spirit!” Clint says, holding the door open for them. 

“When’s the last time you shot a gun?” Steve asks. 

“When they were holding me in London,” Bucky says, reaching up and brushing at his shoulder. “They said they wanted to see if I still had good aim. Joke’s on them, my aim is great - but sustained engagement is the problem.” 

Steve raises a questioning eyebrow and Clint nods along, “staying sniper still without muscle fatigue for hours is hard - after what they did to your shoulder it’s basically impossible.” 

“Yeah I don’t think those nerves are ever going to grow back,” Bucky says, scrunching up his nose.

“High velocity round,” Steve asks. 

“What else,” Bucky says ruefully, “and then they have the audacity to try and recruit me. Hey blew out your shoulder, thought you might want to come work for us!” 

Clint snorts, “no one ever said HYDRA were smart.” 

He slides his access card over what’s obviously a heavy ballistics door and they step into the range area where Clint has set aside a number of firearms that Bucky is very familiar with. In a second lane are Clint’s favored long range along with a few bows to try out. 

“I still can’t believe they let you use those in the field,” Bucky says, shaking his head. 

“They’re quiet,” Steve points out, crossing his arms over his chest and looking between the two tables, “and before you make some smart ass comment about silencers, yes I _know_.” 

Both Bucky and Clint snicker and Steve sidles over to Bucky looking over some of the choices that Clint has laid out. Clint meanwhile goes right over to his own lane and starts fiddling with his preference settings on the digital monitoring system. 

“I’m supposed to like, guide you, but you’re better than me and we have the lane monitors and cameras anyways and ultimately, Fury and Pierce are going to be looking at that footage so…. Go H.A.M.” 

Bucky nods and motions to the monitoring system and Steve goes over, helping Bucky set it up, “it can simulate various conditions, we’ll start with regular mode and then go from there if you want… like Clint said it’s all just so they can view your results and verify what your records say. Do you want to do this today?” 

“Might as well,” Bucky says, shrugging out of his cardigan and unbuttoning his sleeves so he can roll them up to his elbows. He didn’t exactly dress for the occasion but he’s not going to say no. He almost misses the way that Steve is staring at him but when he reaches for one of the long range rifles he sees Steve’s eyes on him, laser focused. 

“You okay?” Bucky asks, loading the clip and trying to watch Steve in the periphery. 

“I…don’t think I was prepared for how I would feel watching you handle a gun in office attire.” 

Bucky fights down a childish little grin and hoists his gun up, aiming down range, “is this something we’ll have to talk about at home?” 

“Might be,” Steve says, leaning back against the wall. 

Bucky tries not to laugh and then lowers the gun again, giving in with a full body chuckle, “you can’t make me laugh! I’m trying to concentrate.” 

“Well that sounds like a ~you problem,” Steve teases, making Bucky blush a little. He remembers sassing Steve with exactly those words and having them thrown back at him so casually twists something in his chest. 

“You’re a menace, Rogers,” Bucky says under his breath. He shakes his head and focuses back on the lane and tries to get back into a place where he can focus. He doesn’t need to go into full sniper mode, but he does need to relax, does need to get his body to just flow a little better, work with the machine and all. 

It takes him a minute of aiming and adjusting but he gets it - finds that comfortable middle ground where he’s just where he wants to be and then he fires off a series of shots making minimal adjustments each time. Clint picked a difficult gun for him and Bucky smiles a little, checking down range through the scope. The damn thing is pulling left and Bucky loves it - it gives him something to work on - something to calculate and play with. It takes him a few tries but then Bucky nails it. 

He hears a whistle and he blinks, dropping the barrel and looking over at Clint and Steve who call the target forward to get a look at the shots. 

“You figure out the trick?” Clint asks with a cheeky smile. 

“Pulls to the left, you absolute fuck,” Bucky laughs, unloading and sets the gun down on the table hands hovering over what else there is to play with. 

“Pick something light, and then we’ll do a sustained test,” Clint says, budging Steve out of the way so he can fuss with the lane settings. What Bucky is realizing is that the majority of it is actually just… well he doesn’t know the actual tech behind it but he’s guessing it’s like VR but he doesn’t have to wear a headset … projected holograms? But the most advanced he’s ever seen. Clint can create an entire landscape in the lane, change the lighting dynamics, add in moving targets, can even apparently put in some feature that allows the targets to ‘shoot back’. Bucky’s never seen anything like it in his life but it’s fucking unreal and he sort of loves it. 

Clint shows him where the floor has an adjustable ramping and perch feature to make it disability accessible for people who can’t stand and it allows shooters to lay down and elevate up to look down on the lane and so on. Bucky gives Steve a look like it’s Christmas morning and Steve shrugs helplessly. It’s not like he could tell Bucky or show Bucky any of this and Bucky gets that but God it’s all so fucking cool how does he just live knowing this is here and get any actual work done. It’s like in-office laser tag but better. 

The three of them end up spending over two hours in the shooting lanes, running various simulations - at first because they test Bucky’s abilities and then having a shoot-off where the three of them try and set the most absurd target scenario possible and see who can hit it first. Steve is typically the worst shot but does eventually get it, but he’s a good sport about losing. When they go to check out and head back to the conference room to reconnect with Maria Hill, Bucky is rubbing his left shoulder, wincing a little. 

“You alright?” Steve asks. 

“Fatigue sets in faster,” Bucky admits, rolling the joint around, “I can still aim just fine, but holding still for long periods or you know doing a long period engagement tires me out a lot.” 

Steve holds the door for him and then sits next to him at the table, brushing Bucky’s hand out of the way so he can take over instead, gently kneading at the muscle and up to Bucky’s neck, trying to relax out the tension. It makes Bucky huff out a little sound, sinking into the chair and hunching forward as Steve works on him. 

“You never give me a shoulder rub when we go shooting,” Clint says, faking being sad from somewhere across the table that Bucky can’t see. 

“You’re not my boyfriend,” Steve says, a smile in his voice. 

“I’m hurt, Mr. Rogers!” Clint says, starting to wind up into a bit but the door opens and Maria walks in. 

“Gentlemen?” 

What they end up deciding on in the meeting is that maybe it is for the best that Bucky goes and sees the people at Stark. Maria sets him up with the necessary referrals, gives him all his paperwork and new name badges and then releases him for the day. She says he’s welcome to stay and get settled in to his desk area but if he’d rather just come in tomorrow and do it that’s fine too - he’s frankly done more than enough for the day. Bucky nods and says he’d rather go and Steve escorts him out like it’s not a big deal at all. 

“So, what did you have in mind until class?” Steve asks, reaching down and threading their fingers together. 

“Class actually got cancelled today,” Bucky says, holding up his cell phone, “got the notification earlier today, I guess our professor had some personal emergency come up -- not Dr. Rhodes the other one -- and we’re off the hook.” 

Steve makes a considering face and then tugs Bucky in the direction of the parking garage. “I think I said something about taking care of you?” 

Bucky stumbles and feels his breathing actually trip over in his chest. God, how can Steve just say shit like that so casually!? 

“You might have mentioned it…” 

“Then if you don’t have anything to do today… maybe I can get started on now.” 

Steve is looking at him out of the corner of his eye and Bucky squeezes his hand, not sure how to answer that other than by saying ‘Daddy please’ and he’s not sure that’s appropriate in the middle of the EHTS headquarters. Though that does give James a really awful idea about the conference room table that he hadn’t previously entertained and that he’s not going to be able to get out of his stupid head. 

He makes a note to tell Steve about that later and tries to stay still on the drive back, not that it’s easy. Steve keeps a hand on his thigh when he’s not shifting gears and occasionally strokes over the inseam on his pants like it’s not on purpose but Bucky knows it is. 

When they’re almost to Steve’s house, Steve, casual as can be gives Bucky a little squeeze and says as if he’s announcing the weather, “when we get home - I want you to go in, strip down to your underwear, and unbutton your shirt but keep it on.” 

Bucky swallows and shifts in the seat, trying to keep his eyes forward because if he looks at Steve he’s going to get too hard too fast. “Yes sir.” 

“Kneel in the middle of the bed and don’t touch yourself, just wait, and be good for me,” Steve gives him another squeeze, turning into the driveway and into the garage. 

Steve idles the car for a moment before turning it off and Bucky unbuckles his seatbelt, every sound feeling louder than it really is. “Can -- before we -- will you kiss me?” Bucky asks nervously, trying to quiet his whole body down. He wants this, God he really wants it but he just needs to know it’s okay, and Steve doesn’t disappoint. Giving him a wide smile and then cupping his cheek, bringing him in for a soft, gentle kiss. 

“You can have whatever you want, baby.” 

Bucky nods, licking his lips and backing out of the car, heading into the house and following Steve’s instructions. He kicks off his shoes in the mud room, folds his pants and socks in the bedroom and sets them on the dresser and kneels up in the middle of the bed, slipping the buttons free on his shirt one at a time. Everything in the house feels maddeningly quiet and Bucky can hear the rough breaths he’s drawing in and tries to ratchet them down into something a little more normal. But every time he gets his breathing in order he remembers that Steve is waiting to come in and fuck him senseless and the whole thing goes right out the window. 

“Fuck,” Bucky breathes out, closing his eyes and tipping his head up. He runs his hands over his thighs and listens for any sign of Steve joining him. He has no idea how long he’s going to wait - how long he _can_ wait. His cock is already straining against the fabric of his underwear, the serum putting him on a hair trigger and he can’t tell if he’s grateful for that or really beginning to hate it. 

He thinks about what Steve said - about taking care of him - about how he would do whatever it took to make him feel good tonight and Bucky swallows, running his hands up his chest and playing with the fabric of his shirt, wrapping it more snug around him and trying not to enjoy the friction of the cotton against his nipples. 

The house is chilly, the heater not having been kicked on yet and the air is moving around with the overhead fan causing goosebumps all over Bucky’s skin. It feels like a tease, and he shifts around, hands drifting back to his thighs again, touching himself where he can, thumbs dragging up along the seam of his underwear where it’s snug against his hip, his breath catching at the sensation. 

“Having fun?” Steve’s voice breaks the spell in the room and Bucky jerks his head to look at him standing there in the door. He’s still in that stealth suit, and without all the lights on he looks ominous but still so fucking hot that Bucky can’t help the little noise he makes in the back of his throat. “Such a good boy - why don’t you go back to that while Daddy watches, hm?” 

Bucky nods, a flush creeping along his face and down to his chest as he shuffles himself on the bedding until he’s better displayed for Steve as Steve takes a seat in the chair that sits in the corner of the room. He leans back in it, sprawling and looking interested but completely at ease and Bucky wants to crawl in his lap and ride him he’s so turned on. 

“Go on, baby,” Steve says, “keep going.” 

So Bucky gets back to it, hands dragging over his own body, only this time, he’s staring at Steve, at the way his eyes follow every movement of Bucky’s hands. Steve shifts in the chair and Bucky shrugs off the shirt, letting it catch at his elbows and pull tight at his back so he can scrape his short nails from his shoulder down his pec, over his nipple, and down his stomach. 

“Ha-ah!” Bucky gasps, arching into his touch as he stares back at Steve and he must be doing it right because Steve moves one of his hands and cups himself through the suit, rubbing pressing down with the heel of his palm. 

“Just that like,” Steve says, “play with your nipple again, honey.” 

Bucky nods and looks down, trying to figure out how to make this as sexy as he can - how is -- how does this even look to Steve right now? It must look good, he’s already touching himself and Bucky can tell by the strain against the fabric he’s half hard or more. Bucky runs his hands up over his stomach and to his chest, fingers teasing at his nipples with a shy brush that makes him shudder before pinching them and rolling them between his fingertips with a moan. It’s overwhelming and Bucky forgets that with this fucking serum he gets so worked up so fast that it’s pathetic. 

“That’s it -- _that’s it_ \--” Steve groans. 

Bucky pants, every bit of fabric on his body feeling like it’s too much and he glances sidelong at Steve, waiting for him to give him an order, _anything_ that will break this stand-off between them. 

“Touch yourself for me,” Steve says, voice low and dark and Bucky moans, his body shaking as if Steve has his hands on him. 

“How?” Bucky whines, dropping his nipples and letting his hands restlessly rub over his own thighs because he knows what _he_ wants but he’s desperate to have _Steve_ tell him what to do instead. 

“Baby, such a good boy,” Steve praises, and Bucky has to shut his eyes, shifting until he’s on his knees and the ache in his muscles can distract him from how hard he is. “Daddy wants to see you touch yourself through your panties.” 

“St-Daddy!” Bucky pitches forward and grabs the bedding in clenched fists as a sudden rush of heat floods through him. Because that’s the thing they’re _not_ panties, but the thought that they _could_ be? Oh fuck, oh _fuck_. Bucky hasn’t really explored that particular fetish with anyone before but he can see it clear as day in his mind now. Spread out for Steve, all the cut, masculine planes of his body broken up by something so strikingly feminine as a sparse pair of lacy panties that barely hold back his erection. “FUCK!” 

Bucky whines and splays his thighs, grinding his dick against the covers, face down on the bed, moaning, “Fuuuuuck, Daddy!”

“Mm, sweetheart, you like that?” Steve asks. Bucky can hear him shift in the chair and he rubs his face in the blanket, feeling sweat trickle down his spine and break out over his forehead. How Steve can wind him up so fast with just his voice is unreal and he simultaneously can’t get enough and wants Steve to hurry the fuck up and get on to the next part where he cracks and shoves that incredible dick in him already. “You want Daddy to buy you something cute to wear just for him?” 

“Ungh _fuck_ ,” Bucky groans and pushes his ass out like an invitation, reaching down between the bed and his body and pressing the heel of his palm into his aching cock, rubbing at himself shamelessly, “yes, yes sir.” 

“Sit back up, I want to look at you,” Steve says. 

It takes monumental effort to pull himself back up to sitting, he’s on his knees and dizzy, glancing back at Steve as he squeezes himself through his underwear and moans at the sensation. He’s so fucking hard he could come but he won’t because Steve hasn’t given him permission, but the heat all over his body has him dying. 

“That’s it, honey,” Steve purrs, “ease up a little, I don’t want you going off yet - I want you coming on my cock.” 

“D--Daddy,” Bucky whimpers, dropping his hands and grabbing his thighs to try and ground himself as his balls draw up and he can tell he’s perilously close - fuck the fucking serum. 

“Aww… too close?” Steve asks. 

“NNgh.. mmhmm--”

Bucky closes his eyes and counts to ten but can hear the creak of the chair and tracks Steve’s movements through the room until there’s a dip in the bed and Bucky can feel his body heat. Then big, gloved hands, rough on his overheated skin, skimming over his sides and around to his thighs. 

“Fuck you look so good,” Steve whispers against his ear before kissing his shoulder, “couldn’t help myself, baby. I was gonna wait but I just wanna nail that tight little ass of yours.” 

“S--Steve I’m … fuck I’m really close fuck I can’t--” Bucky whimpers and feels his hands shaking as he struggles to keep them to himself. “I’m try.. I’m trying to be good I’m--” 

Bucky leans back into the vee of Steve’s legs, nearly hyperventilating he’s so wound up. He knows he can’t hold off and he doesn’t want to come without Steve telling him to and it’s making him more than a little upset. 

“Shh,” Steve catches him with an arm around the chest and then his other hand is wrapping tight around Bucky’s cock through his underwear and stroking him. The rough catch of the gloves, the leather and nylon just the wrong kind of friction to make Bucky squirm and cry out but being touched is making Bucky come almost immediately, arching back until his head his falling onto Steve’s shoulder and he’s got tears in the corners of his eyes. Whatever sound he makes is nonsensical, just a ragged thing but Steve sure fucking likes it - he’s mouthing at Bucky’s throat - easing off as Bucky twitches through the aftershocks.

“That’s it, sweetheart,” Steve hums, finally letting go and instead stroking over the inside of Bucky’s spread thighs, “you think you’ve had enough?” 

“Please,” Bucky whimpers, reaching down and shoving at his dirty underwear, rolling his body up to get them further down his hips, “fuck me, m’so ready for you.” 

Steve chuckles and rolls Bucky until he’s on his back and Steve is working his underwear off, tossing it towards the bathroom. 

“Gotta stretch you first,” Steve says, sliding down, down, until Bucky gets the picture and he’s squirming and reaching out to get his hands into Steve’s hair. It’s so hot he’s still fully dressed all the way down to his gloves, the rough leather against Bucky’s skin making Bucky hyper aware of their presence in a really attractive kind of way as Steve’s mouth sucks at his hip. 

“Fuck oh fuck,” Bucky whines, spreading his legs as Steve works his mouth lower and brings his tongue more into play. He’s lapping over Bucky’s balls, sucking one into his mouth making Bucky arch up off the bed with a cry - something Steve chuckles at, the vibrations going straight into Bucky’s cock. 

“It’s -- it’s too --” Bucky squirms on the bed and Steve just laughs low and hot against his hole before lapping at it, holding his thighs tight in his hands and Bucky keens, fighting to keep his legs open and wanting to slam them shut because it’s overwhelming. “Daddy! _DADDY!_ ” 

“Oh that’s it sweetheart, get loud,” Steve coos, looking up his body like a predatory animal before he’s ducking back down and sucking at the puckered skin with a lewd sound and slipping the point of his tongue in, until Bucky makes a broken off cry and has to let go of Steve’s hair in case he pulls too hard. 

“FUCK!” Bucky reaches up and grabs at the pillows over his head, tangling his fingers against them and grinding down on Steve’s face, moaning loud as Steve licks into him and hums like he can’t get enough. It’s so good and so hot and Bucky wants more of it while also wanting it to stop because he’s just lit up all over. “Daddy -- !” 

Steve doesn’t answer, not in words, instead he’s tonguing in deeper still and wriggling until Bucky sobs, his thighs trembling as Steve uses his hands to hold him open, thumbs going lower to stretch his hole and tease his rim -- oh fuck he’s already hard again. “M-- m’gonna -- daddy m’gonna come.” 

This time Steve starts to pull back, flicking his tongue a few times at Bucky’s rim just to make him jerk on the bed and then he’s tearing off his gloves with his teeth. “Not yet you won’t,” Steve threatens, kneeling up on the bed and opening just his fly. Bucky shoves up on his elbows and stares at Steve, he’s still fully dressed - he’s not really.. He won’t -- he has to wear that to work! 

Steve smirks down at him like he can read his mind and grabs the lube, pouring it in his hand and reaching down to jerk himself off, hanging out of his tactical pants and putting on a show that Bucky is going to replay in his mind the next time he’s left alone and has to get himself off. Not that he has very long to enjoy it because as soon as Steve has himself slicked up he’s grabbing Bucky by the thighs and yanking him close. 

“You--” Bucky reaches up and slides his hands along Steve’s arms and groans as Steve angles down, slipping right into him with one, hard shove that has Bucky coming all over himself untouched and with a ragged cry. 

“Oooh fuck just like that,” Steve moans, rocking into him, taking his time, filling Bucky over and over as he kisses him - Bucky making breathless little sounds as his oversensitive body tries to cope with the onslaught. “So fucking wet and tight like this,” Steve whispers, nosing close to Bucky’s ear, “Daddy just loves feeling you come around his thick cock, baby. Nnn fuck feels so good - know how much you love it too.” 

“Daddy,” Bucky whines, tipping his head back as Steve kisses down his throat, fucking him deep and slow, holding him at just the right angle for both of them to get what they need. “Love having you inside me, Daddy,” Bucky moans, running his hands up Steve’s kevlar-covered chest and tipping his head back, focusing on the rough feel of the fabric as it bites into his skin everywhere - the friction, the chafe of it but fuck it feels so good. 

“Such a good boy,” Steve praises, pushing Bucky’s hair out of his face and kissing his cheek, “God Buck, God I’m so hard for you, sweetheart,” Steve bites a mark at his throat and leaves it light but then comes back to it, sucking and digging his teeth in hard as he starts fucking Bucky hard and deep, letting that base instinct take over for just a minute until he’s slowing back down to roll his hips and stuff Bucky full. 

“God,” Bucky croaks out, squeezing around Steve’s length and closing his eyes. He could come again, he knows it’s the serum but also fuck he loves how Steve knows just what he wants, how to take care of him, how to make him feel wanted and needed and filthy all at the same time. 

“Yeah? Nnn gonna fuck this come right into you, baby,” Steve hums, reaching up and pinning his wrists down to the bed with one hand as he pistons his hips to fuck Bucky to his own satisfaction. It’s glorious, having Steve use him, take what he needs, and Bucky just spreads his legs wider, hiccuping out little sounds until Steve is shuddering and slamming in deep, rocking slowly, letting his own orgasm drag out as Bucky whimpers underneath him. 

“Daddy,” he huffs, pawing at Steve’s chest, “Daddy don’t stop,” Bucky begs. 

“Mm… I have something else in mind,” Steve says, giving Bucky a kiss and pulling back so he can fish around in the side drawer. When he comes back into Bucky’s line of sight he’s holding a sleek, metal plug with a dark blue Swarovski crystal base and Bucky’s eyes go wide when he looks at it. “You can safeword out if you want, whenever you want,” Steve says, using the lube he discarded earlier to slick it up a little before it’s disappearing out of view and then nudging against Bucky’s stretched, messy hole. “But you’re so worked up sweetheart… coming so fast without even asking permission…” Steve tsks and Bucky blushes. 

“Daddy,” he whines, stretching attractively and opening for the plug with a sigh as it fills him back up. 

“That’s right, and what belongs to Daddy, honey?” Steve asks, rocking the plug inside of Bucky just to make a point and it’s a point that Bucky just loves, squeezing around the slippering metal and moaning. 

“I do.” 

“Mmhm… and you don’t get to come unless I tell you…even your orgasm belongs to Daddy,” Steve says, casual as can be. Bucky just stares at him, glassy eyed and slipping down into that headspace that Steve takes him to and it feels so good, so warm and fucking delicious that he squirms on the bed and nods. 

“Yes sir.” 

“So Daddy’s just going to have to remind you all day who you belong to, hm?” Steve says, pulling his hands away and sliding up the bed so he can give Bucky a gentle kiss. 

“Yeah, wanna show you how much I’m yours,” Bucky agrees, tugging at the front of Steve’s uniform and already kind of wanting it gone. It was hot to start with but now he wants all that skin on display for him. 

“Get comfortable here I’m going to go get something to clean my baby up,” Steve says, pushing off the bed and stroking a proprietary hand down Bucky’s side. Bucky stretches on the bed as he watches Steve go and wriggles, feeling the plug stretch inside him. It’s not too much but it’s just enough and it emphasizes how naked and how used he is. 

When Steve comes back, he’s changed into something casual, and he’s got a warm rag that he uses to clean most of Bucky off and then he helps him into a pair of clean underwear and an oversized shirt that must belong to him because it’s definitely too large to be Bucky’s. He shifts around on the bed and groans when the plug moves around inside him. 

“Don’t you look good enough to eat,” Steve says, giving Bucky a kiss. 

“You already did,” Bucky says shamelessly, grinning even when Steve pinches his hip and laughs. 

“C’mon I’m ordering us some food,” Steve says, tugging Bucky up and nudging him towards the living room. “Go get comfortable on the couch.” 

It all feels very normal, like it could be any other night in, but it’s not. Every time he moves just _so_ he can feel the plug; or worse, Steve reaches back and purposely nudges the base with his fingers and Bucky arches up into him with a shaky breath. He doesn’t know when Steve will want him next and maybe that’s half of the game, the anticipation of it, that at any point Steve could turn cuddling into fucking, or that he could just pull Bucky into his lap and tell him to service him… there’s just … a lot and Bucky is on some kind of floaty plane of waiting for the command. 

The first time takes him by surprise, still. Steve calling him into kitchen to help do dishes from breakfast and when Bucky gets in there, Steve bends him over the sink and shoves his underwear down with a growl. 

“Uhn!” Bucky scrabbles at the big sink edge and squirms as Steve kicks his legs apart and kisses at his throat. 

“Stick that little ass out for me,” Steve whispers, running his hands over the curve of Bucky’s hips and then squeezing his ass as Bucky tilts his hips up so that Steve can rut against him. “That’s it baby.” 

“Fuck… FUCK,” Bucky whimpers, rubbing back against Steve until Steve is tugging the plug free, gentle as can be and setting it in the sink with a little bite to Bucky’s shoulder. 

“Hold your shirt out of the way, let me see you.” 

Bucky nods, just aimless other than whatever Steve tells him to do, rucking his shirt up and then gasping when he feels the wet press of Steve’s cock against his hole. There’s no more prep - no other prompting, just Steve slowly rocking into him, bracing against the counter with one hand, the other holding Bucky at the hip and taking what he wants. 

“Daddy,” Bucky moans, shoving back to take more, “Daddy, yeah--” 

“That good for you, baby?” Steve says, voice low and close and Bucky hums, reaching back and grabbing at Steve’s hair, feeling so good, feeling so deep in his head space that he could take anything that Steve wanted to give him. He feels wet and slick from earlier and he knows Steve is only adding to it and that makes him shudder, just thinking about how he’s there to be a good boy for his daddy, to take whatever it is that his daddy wants to give him. 

“Uh--uhn!” Bucky reaches down with one hand, letting Steve hold him up and jerks himself off, turning his head and breathing hot against Steve’s jaw. “Wanna come… Daddy can I come? Please?” 

Bucky feels the hand on his hip tighten and he can feel Steve’s thrusts speed up, “Mmm that’s how you ask baby, such a sweet boy you can come whenever you want … but you know Daddy won’t stop.” 

“Don’t want you to,” Bucky groans, jerking himself off faster. 

He tightens his fist around his cock and on one particularly deep thrust he goes stiff and cries out, coming all over his hand and a little on the counter as well. Bucky drops the hold he has on himself and grabs the edge of the sink with both hands, canting his hips back so that Steve can fuck him deep even though every thrust is rubbing mercilessly over his prostate and making his legs feel like jelly. 

“That’s it baby,” Steve pants, “just take it for Daddy.” 

Bucky groans and closes his eyes and tries to relax, his whole body feeling exhausted but so fucking good as Steve uses him just a little longer before snapping his hips in deep and coming with a growl. While still buried there he rolls himself in a few times, making sure that Bucky can feel what a mess he’s making of him. 

“God that feels so good, doesn’t it, sweetheart,” Steve whispers, nosing at the back of his ear, “rinse off your plug for me.” 

With shaking hands, Bucky does exactly what he’s told and hands it back to Steve with a little sigh. It’s almost a shame to have the cool metal replace the heat of Steve’s thick cock, but Bucky knows Steve isn’t done with him and the way Steve kisses his shoulder, his throat… he doesn’t think it’s going to be long before he’s taking him again. 

He’s not wrong. 

In the middle of an episode of Street Food, when he’s curled up in Steve’s lap just to be cuddled and fawned over, which Steve seems to be enjoying, things start to get more heated. Steve is kissing at his jaw, his touch lingering more, his hands slipping up the front of Bucky’s shirt until he can thumb at Bucky’s nipples and have him gasping out. 

“Think I’ll have you again, right here,” Steve murmurs, working at the little hard peaks as Bucky goes from zero to sixty in a hurry, flushing down his chest and rocking back into Steve’s lap where he can feel the hard line of his cock through the baggy joggers he has on. 

What Bucky realized in the kitchen is that Steve isn’t wearing underwear and that he’s got lube in the pocket which is great for what they’re doing but it feels so fucking dirty and hot at the same time. That Steve is literally just waiting to take him all day and all Bucky has to do is wait for it. If he wasn’t already in that headspace to begin with he’d certainly be getting there quick now. Steve takes his time on the couch, having Bucky ride him in the soft cushions until they’re both too worked up to last. It’s as hot as every other time before that and Bucky’s starting to ache a little but not enough to stop. 

This time when Steve comes back with a clean cloth and the rinsed off plug, Bucky can feel the come leaking out of him and he’s whimpering when Steve purposely drags the end of the plug through it just to work it all back inside of Bucky’s loose hole. 

“Mm.. can’t have you losing any of that,” Steve says, thrusting the plug a few times as he kisses Bucky, helping him back into his underwear. 

After, he settles them back on the couch and lays down, spooning behind Bucky and Bucky just drifts, letting Steve hold him as the episode plays and Steve mumbles something about delivery and Bucky just hums his approval. He doesn’t really care any which way because Steve’s taking care of him, Daddy’s doing all the work, Daddy’s got it all taken care of today… 

It’s later when Steve rouses Bucky off the couch, Steve had buzzed someone in to deliver food probably and Bucky sits up on the sofa, groaning when the plug shifts again. He pushes up on his knees and looks over the back of the couch and quirks an eyebrow as Steve reappears with a back of take out and a gift bag that he carries off to the dining room. 

“Daddy?” Bucky calls, melting off the sofa to follow Steve. 

“Kitchen,” Steve calls, and Bucky turns that way instead, finding Steve pulling down a plate and digging out silverware but it’s a place setting for one. Bucky quirks an eyebrow and Steve nudges the black bag across the table towards him. 

“I want you to wear this for dinner, baby,” Steve says, looking uncharacteristically shy and Bucky glances down in the bag but everything is boxed up and tied in a neat ribbon so there’s no telling what the hell is in there. “Go put it on for me and then I want you to go sit _on_ the table, by the head chair, hm?” 

Bucky glances down in the bag and then up at Steve with a curious little tilt to his head, “yes sir.” 

He heads towards the bedroom but Steve stops him, calling his name. 

“I’ll be waiting in the living room - call me when you’re ready?” 

It’s a way out, a sort of safe word without a safe word and Bucky appreciates it but it makes him all the more curious about the contents of the bag. Not that he has to wait for long. When he gets back to the bedroom, he pulls out the box and tugs the ribbon free, staring down at the looping script on top of the box. 

He hasn’t really heard of the place before but he shrugs and flips the lid back before peeling away layers of tissue paper and then freezing. 

“Oh…” 

Bucky’s fingers brush over the delicate fabric, the mesh, the lace, the silk and elastic and he’s trembling - dying to put it all on and and scared it’s going to rip to shreds if he does. Stockings, panties, a garter belt, some kind of waist thing … oh fuck he’s hard just looking at it and he knows it won’t hold his fucking dick in and he wonders if that’s part of the point? To look absolutely obscene in front of Steve. 

And on the dining room table? Hnnngh… his brain is shorting out and he stands there full of indecision for a minute before he gives in and strips his tee shirt and underwear off and goes for it. 

He’s going to make Daddy happy goddamnit.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is called my thesis is kicking my ass and originally was gonna be longer but then I was like eh I'll just post the porn stand alone now and get to the plot later. 
> 
> ????????
> 
> Profit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I don't feel bad at all .... this is literally Bucky in lingerie. Steve fucking him. 
> 
> That's about it. Steve has to half-break the scene a little but he explains why and it never really gets or goes to a dark place he just says that he needed to be fully in a Daddy headspace and that's all. Because we communicate here and don't let shit bother us. 2019 IS ABOUT TALKING ABOUT OUR FEELINGS. 
> 
> In fanfiction. In real life I'm a disaster queer who has no life and is about 90% dead. (oh hey you figured out where my username is from)
> 
> The lingerie set in question costs something like... idk. $1500 not that I meticulously priced it out ahaha. 
> 
> Anyways.

Bucky doesn’t want to know how much it must have cost but when he picks up the panties, there’s a $675 price tag on them that makes him go hot all over. The garters are just as expensive, the waist cinch looks almost sensibly priced at $130 and the champagne silk stockings with a black heel and seam up the back a scant $55. 

“Jesus,” Bucky breathes, looking at it all laid out in the tissue paper and trying to get his shit together. He wants this - wow fuck he _really_ wants to do this and it’s so fucking hot that Steve literally got this fantasy out of him and made it come to life in the same day. It’s absurd and just feels incredibly overwhelming. “What do I ever start with…” Bucky hisses to himself. If this were anyone else he’d text Nat but Nat knows Steve so that makes it a little awkward… 

Shucking out of what little clothing he has on, Bucky opts for the waist cinch first because it seems the most complicated but turns out to be not so bad. It fits just around his ribs and waist and doesn’t actually pull anything in but it sits overtop of his skin and applies the tiniest pressure to let him know it’s there. The fine mesh and lace detailing a sexy contrast on his overheated skin. The garters are even better though… lace with crystals that scrape on his skin just a little, biting enough but not painful. He’s a little scared of the fact that it cost almost $700 but he’s trying to put that out of his head, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling on the stockings. The woman in the picture looks like she’s put on her panties last and Bucky supposes that makes sense - he definitely wants Steve to be able to get them off of him and if he has to undo all these stupid hooks to get there that’s just a waste of time. 

It’s when he’s finished, standing there in Steve’s bedroom, looking at himself in the mirror that he lets himself feel a little nervous. It’s not that he doesn’t look good .. actually he feels kind of great about himself. His hair is curling a little at the ends, pulled back out of his face in a loose bun and sure he couldn’t get all the stocking hooks done up but he thinks he did alright. 

Still, he’s gonna go out there and put himself on display for Steve and something about that is just … it’s not bad, Bucky feels really good about it, he’s in that headspace where he wants to make Steve feel as good as he does, wants to be a good boy, but there’s just that anxious twist - will he be enough? 

He knows there’s only one way to find out but it’s still the longest walk of his life and he sneaks one of Steve’s oversized button downs out of the laundry hamper, shrugging it on, unbuttoned over himself as he tiptoes through the house. Bucky remembers his instructions, hop up on the table at the head chair and let Steve know when he’s ready and he thinks this is it, that he’s ready now. But he still takes a minute or two to breathe. 

“Daddy?” Bucky calls, closing his eyes and hoping this works out. 

He doesn’t hear Steve approach until he’s within a few steps, and even then it’s only because Steve lets out a shaky exhale. 

“You okay?” Steve asks, taking the last couple of steps forward and bracketing Bucky on the table with his body. He doesn’t push for more, doesn’t move the shirt out of the way, Just cups Bucky’s face in one hand and turns him up for a kiss. “You’re shaking a little, honey.” 

“M’fine,” Bucky answers, reaching out and pulling Steve close with more force than he means to and laughing when Steve stumbles a little, “sorry-- I’m just.. Nervous I think?” 

“Yeah?” Steve pushes some stray strands of hair out of Bucky’s face and Bucky turns into the touch. How can Steve be this good to him? 

“I’ve never played this long or had like … with this kink or anything and it’s really hot I just don’t want to let you down and--” 

Steve cuts him off by wrapping his arms around him and hugging him close, rubbing his back and kissing into his hair, “you couldn’t possibly let me down -- I just want to take care of you and let you experiment and have fun.” 

“I am-- I am having fun it’s just a lot at once,” Bucky admits, sliding his hands over Steve’s shoulders and nosing into his chest, “and then I couldn’t get all the garter snaps fastened…” 

Steve lets out a soft laugh at that and pulls back, finger-combing Bucky’s hair away from his face and smiling, “do you want me to get that for you? Or do you want to stop? Whatever you want baby.” 

Bucky stretches one of his legs out and nudges at Steve with it, his knee bumping at Steve’s hip until Steve gets the picture and takes a step back, catching Bucky’s thigh in his hand and raising an eyebrow. 

“Fix it, Daddy,” Bucky says, quietly, voice still a little shaky. It’s worth it though, for the look of disbelief and wonder and awe that Steve gives him, his fingers fumbling a little as he runs them up the seam along the back of Bucky’s leg and catches the stocking, pulling it up taught before he brings down the snap of the garter belt to hook them together. 

It was the ones on the backs of his legs giving him trouble and he lets Steve fix them both before he pulls him back in, wrapping his legs around Steve’s hips and pulling in for a kiss, something a little warmer than last time. 

“I wanna keep going,” Bucky says, running a hand down Steve’s chest, “I want to see how you take care of me. I know you’ll make it good. I trust you.” 

“Fuck, sweetheart,” Steve groans, leaning forward and catching Bucky around the waist to kiss him hard, holding his head in place while he licks into his mouth and Bucky can feel how much he’s wanted in that moment - how much he’s adored. It’s heady and glorious and he feels a little high on the sudden rush of affection, not wanting to let Steve go just yet but when Steve pulls away he still lets him, knows it’s only going to get better. 

“Can I take that shirt off you?” Steve asks, tugging at one of the lapels. “Not that I don’t love seeing my baby in my clothes… but I want to see him all dressed up in the pretty things I bought him.” 

“I guess,” Bucky says, playing at nonchalant as he shrugs the expensive white shirt down his shoulders and lets it puddle on the table top. The dark finish against his skin with the black lace … and he knows he looks amazing because when Steve sees him he freezes up. He sees his boyfriend go temporarily offline and Bucky can’t help but smile a little, trying not to laugh so he bites his lip instead. 

“See something you like?” he teases, sliding one foot up on to the table so he can spread his legs and let Steve see the glint of the plug through the scant lace of the panties. 

“Jesus, Bucky,” Steve moans, grabbing the back of the chair like he needs it to keep him centered and grounded. “I knew you’d look good; but this… pretty as a picture, doll.” 

Bucky stretches, trying to let Steve see it all, and Steve rakes his gaze over him, obvious in his attention and Bucky sort of fuckin loves it? He didn’t know he would be into being on display like this but Steve makes it feel so good for him. 

“You make me want to skip all my other plans and take you right now just like this,” Steve mutters, shaking his head and reaching out to catch one of Bucky’s feet, rubbing at his instep and looking up the long length of his leg. “But I do have some very nice plans.” 

“Did you?” Bucky asks, sitting up more and pushing himself forward, flirting even though he knows he doesn’t have to, leaning into Steve’s space. “How do you want me first?” 

Steve smiles at him, soft at first and then predatory. 

“Sit right here in front of my chair if you don’t mind,” Steve directs, tapping the space where he intends to sit and Bucky scoots over a bit, resting his feet on the cushion and then looking up at Steve through his lashes until the chair is pulled away and he frowns. “Just until I get you into position.” 

Bucky raises an eyebrow and then swallows as Steve stands over him, resting big hands on his knees and then as he slides his hands up Bucky’s thighs he pushes his legs open, spreading Bucky wide and never once breaking eye contact. 

It’s slow and methodical and Bucky knows it’s Steve showing just who’s in control. Not that there was ever any doubt. 

“Just like this?” Bucky asks, swallowing a moan as the plug shifts inside his hole and makes him remember how wet he still is from earlier. 

“Just like that, sweetheart,” Steve says. “Hands flat on the table and wait here while I go grab some things.” 

Bucky nods and waits, but it’s not for long. Steve comes back in with some champagne and plate of food heaped up high that he sets directly in between Bucky’s spread legs with a grin. The champagne he sets off to the side and then he’s sliding his chair under the table, positioning himself directly in front of Bucky’s spread legs and Bucky has to suppress a shiver. He feels more exposed than before and he can’t figure out why. But it feels good. He wants it - God does he ever want it. 

“Just relax,” Steve says, helping Bucky splay his legs over the arms of the big chair, helping to keep him open. “Daddy’s going to take such good care of you.” 

Bucky whimpers and looks down at where Steve is neatly grabbing a piece of steak on his fork and holding it up to Bucky’s mouth. Oh. Bucky takes the bite off the fork and stares at Steve the whole time, chewing slowly and remembering back to their first date. The way Steve had just taken charge, ordered for both of them, fed Bucky the appetizer and stroked over his thigh under the table while talking to him about everything from his job to his service to hockey… 

The noise Bucky makes in the back of his throat when it hits him is a little pathetic but he bites it back and tries to sit still, staring down at Steve who just quirks an eyebrow at him and takes a couple of bites for himself, using his free hand to stroke up and down one of Bucky’s thighs, keeping him grounded and calm and in the moment. 

“Daddy,” Bucky moans out, flexing a little as Steve’s thumb catches under one of the garter straps and teases up to his hip. 

“You’re so fucking good, sweetheart,” Steve says, tracing the strap again, the delicate ribbon caught on his big hand making Bucky’s heart rate jump. “You look so good for me, do you like what Daddy picked out for you?” 

Bucky leans back, stretching so Steve can see it all, “yeah, love it that Daddy knows just what I like.” 

Steve grins and leans down to kiss at the inside of Bucky’s knee, feeding him a couple more bites after he pulls away and smoothing a free hand up his thigh. It’s sweet, so much like their first date and so far away from it at the same time. It’s quiet and perfect there - just the two of them, Steve spoiling Bucky exactly how he wants to, giving him everything he wants and Bucky displaying himself entirely. He knows that he’s dessert - that he’s what’s on the menu next and there was a time when that thought would’ve given him anxiety but now it makes him giddy, makes him preen. 

When the food dwindles and Bucky is hungry for something else, he shoves the plate away and nudges one silk stocking clad toe at Steve’s chest and smiles slowly. 

“Daddy, m’done with this now,” Bucky says. 

“You ready for something else?” Steve asks, setting the plates well out of the way and taking a minute to stroke over Bucky’s thighs, his hips, up his flank. Bucky just nods and feels that slow, warm honey feeling soak through his whole body. He was half hard when they were eating dinner but under Steve’s careful attention he’s all the way erect again and every time he shifts and twitches, he can feel the plug shift inside his wet, stretched hole. 

Steve’s thumbs trace along the inside of the lace panties, his elbows forcing Bucky’s legs to stay spread on the table as he plays with him. “That pretty little dick of yours is already so hard it won’t stay in these nice panties I bought you,” Steve sighs and spreads his big hands over the crease of Bucky’s thighs, up over his hips so he can grab him and slide him forward on the table. 

“Nnngh!” Bucky whines, reaching out and grabbing at Steve’s shoulders to steady himself. 

“Can you hold still for me,” Steve asks, giving Bucky a squeeze before dropping his hands and patting his side. Bucky just nods, deep in that headspace and happy to do whatever it is that’s going to make Steve happy too. “Good boy.” 

What Steve comes back with is the bottle of champagne from earlier, still chilly, the bottle sweating in the room’s ambient temperature and Bucky looks at it, wondering if he’s going to get a sip but instead Steve is raising the bottle up and tipping it so that it pours out over his chest. 

Bucky gasps, leaning back a little, almost out of instinct and Steve chases him, his mouth coming down on Bucky’s skin, catching a little in his mouth and licking a hot trail up to his throat, letting the chain of his collar clink against his teeth before he’s pulling back and kissing the sharp taste of the alcohol into Bucky’s mouth. 

All Bucky can do is moan, let Steve’s tongue chase his own, his whole body trembling as he starts getting really wound up again. 

“Nnn Daddy - you’re gonna ruin all my pretty lingerie,” Bucky complains, the champagne soaking into the light corset waist piece. 

Steve just chuckles, pushing the hair out of Bucky’s face and tracking down his body with one finger. 

“Daddy bought it, baby,” Steve says, voice low and rough, “and that means Daddy can do whatever he wants with it.” 

“But I like it,” Bucky presses. 

“Then I’ll buy you more,” Steve says, hitching Bucky closer, fingers digging into his thigh so he can drag him forward, “but if I want to ruin it, I’ll do whatever I damn well want, sweetheart.” 

“What else are you going to ruin?” Bucky shifts his legs and Steve watches, drags his gaze up so slowly that Bucky starts to blush again. The feeling of the splotchy heat all over his chest now. 

“Anything that’s mine,” Steve says, low and hungry. 

Bucky shivers, can’t help it and isn’t surprised when Steve’s mouth is sinking into one of his thick thighs, biting down on the flesh between the top of the stockings and the scant panties, sucking a dark bruise as Bucky cries out and lets his hands scrabble against the slick surface of the table. 

“Haa-- haa!” Bucky squirms but not to get away, just wants more, and he gets it. Has Steve licking up until he can nip at the little ribbon of the garter belt, big hands spreading over Bucky’s hips, grabbing him, touching him. 

“Daddy…” Bucky moans, head tipped back and staring up at the elaborate chandelier over the table, “Daddy please.” 

“So impatient,” Steve tsks, kissing his way up Bucky’s body, avoiding the most obvious choices and instead landing where there’s a softly stretched bit of lace, a little patch of exposed skin. His big hands move like brands over Bucky’s torso, up to his chest, and over his shoulders, one hand bracing himself on the table and the other reaching down to grip the side of Bucky’s panties and tear them off. 

“Ungh FUCK!” Bucky cries out, shifting as Steve chuckles and kisses down his throat.

“You liked that?” Steve growls, his fingers finding the base of the plug, twisting it, rocking it once or twice until he’s pulling it out and then dropping it on the table unceremoniously so he can line his cock up and shove that in instead. 

Bucky’s eyes roll back as he arches off the table and scrapes blunt nails across Steve’s shoulders and moans so loud it echoes in the room. It’s hot and glorious and filthy and Steve’s thrusts are deep and rougher than before but so fucking good. 

“I can’t -- that was -- it was like $700 dollars!” Bucky cries out, shoving at Steve’s shoulders as Steve chuckles and shoves his cock in hard enough to jostle Bucky up the table. 

“Yeah?” Steve hovers over Bucky and then kisses him, fucking him hard and deep until Bucky is making those little hitching sobs that he knows Steve loves to get out of him, “I’ll do whatever the fuck I want with ‘em,” Steve says. He digs his fingers hard into Bucky’s hip and angles up until he’s dragging that fat cock right over Bucky’s prostate and Bucky is sobbing this time. 

“I bought them,” Steve growls, “I own them, I own the table, I own the house, the champagne, and I’ll do whatever I fucking want with it, sweetheart.” 

“And me,” Bucky pants, hands digging and fisting into Steve’s hair, his mouth so close to Steve’s now that their lips brush. 

“And you what?” Steve asks, slowing down so he can roll in slower and really abuse that little bundle of nerves that makes Bucky arch up off the table, he’s got tears rolling down his cheeks but it feels so good he’s practically soaring. 

“You own me,” Bucky whimpers, voice cracking over the words and Steve’s hips stutter to a stop. 

“Jesus baby,” Steve grits out, nosing down into Bucky’s collarbones and panting hard. 

“You do!” Bucky insists, his voice cried out and hoarse, fingers tight in Steve’s hair. 

“Sweetheart,” Steve pulls back and has to shift his whole weight, dropping to his elbows so he can cradle Bucky’s head. He looks so nervous and Bucky doesn’t know what to do with that so he just screws his eyes shut and tries to hide his face. “Fuck when you say things like that,” Steve half-whines himself, kissing at the corner of Bucky’s mouth and slowly rocking his hips forward, burying himself in deep and Bucky can feel Steve’s thighs shaking. 

“Daddy,” Bucky groans, trying to get him closer, trying to get more, desperate for everything at once. 

“You’re okay,” Steve soothes, carding fingers into Bucky’s sweaty hair and kissing him on the mouth this this time, chaste and easy and then deeper and more intense until Bucky needs to catch his breath, “c’mon, let me get you in bed.” 

“N-no no!” Bucky protests, pushing suddenly at Steve and trying to figure out if he broke the scene or something because he doesn’t want this to stop he doesn’t want Steve to stop touching him like this and fucking him deep and--

“Honey wait, listen,” Steve tsks at him and shakes his head, “easy baby… I want to keep going I just want to lay down with you, feel you everywhere, is that okay?” 

It takes Bucky a minute to nod but he does, lets Steve pull out and peel him off the table, hoist him up in his arms and carry him back to the bedroom, all the while whispering to him low and quiet, “God baby you’re perfect, you don’t even know how much I want you right now” and “such a good boy” and “you make me fucking insatiable you know that?” The last is half-growled as Steve lays Bucky out in the bed and crawls back over him, hitching Bucky open by grabbing his thigh and angling back down so he can sink into him again like he was never out of him.

The angle is different now that Steve isn’t standing up and Bucky does like that he can touch him wherever, that they can slide against each other in the sheets from last night, that Steve can press his weight into Bucky as he fucks him slow. 

Bucky feels so open and well-fucked, so taken care of, so fucking _good_ as Steve takes him over and over, never pulling out all the way, just thrusting in and keeping him stretched wide like Bucky likes. 

“Touch yourself,” Steve huffs, speeding up and mouthing at Bucky’s throat, “jerk yourself off baby, let me see.” 

Bucky makes a sound in the back of his throat and reaches down, wrapping a hand around his aching cock and feeling all that heat pool low in his gut. He isn’t going to last much longer, not with how Steve is moving inside him coupled with this. 

“Fu--fuck,” Bucky stutters out, shaking and keeping his other hand on the back of Steve’s neck, “close.” 

“Good,” Steve pants back, keeping up his same steady pace until he takes Bucky over the edge, making him cry out and jerk suddenly, his orgasm making him shake apart with a loud moan that echoes in the smaller room. “Christ,” Steve growls, grinding in and kissing at Bucky’s shoulder. It’s like he can’t quite get a hold on himself - either of them. Bucky is twitching from his orgasm and Steve is chasing his own, fighting down something else entirely until he shoves in deep and comes so hard he has to stifle the sound against Bucky’s skin. 

It’s intense and too-much and Bucky grabs at Steve as he comes down, letting Steve roll them so they’re on their sides and he can hold Bucky in his arms, can stroke down the length of his back. They stay like that for a long time, just breathing and coming down enough to be able to clean up, Steve never once stops touching him, stops kissing some inch of sweat-damp skin. When Bucky feels coherent again, Steve lures him into the bathroom and then sits on the edge of the tub, turning the taps on and then carefully undressing Bucky out of the remaining lingerie, setting it aside and then running his hands over the newly exposed skin. 

They don’t say a lot, but Bucky isn’t up for talking. His throat hurts and he just wants Steve to hold him and do for him and take care of him and that means he doesn’t need input. When the bath is a quarter full, Steve helps him down into it, kissing his cheek and whispering “let me go get you some water, gorgeous.” He dims the lights on his way out the door and returns a moment later, setting two cold bottles on the rim of the tub and then sinking into the water with Bucky, finding a way to hold him in the water that’s comfortable for them both. 

Steve works some of the water up in his cupped hand do pour it over Bucky’s hair and kisses at his temple, bringing him up to the surface a little at a time, waking him up out of subspace. Bucky can tell that he’s doing it, can feel the ebb of that comfortably numb and wonderfully warm place he goes when Steve is just taking care of him and he hates that he has to come back out, that he has to just take over. He buries his face in Steve’s shoulder and makes a low sound, grabbing Steve’s thigh under the water to hold him still. 

“Don’t want to yet,” Bucky grumbles. 

“Don’t want to what?” Steve asks. 

“Don’t want to stop,” Bucky says slowly. 

Steve hums and turns his face to kiss Bucky, whatever part of him he can reach, “even if you stop the scene you know I won’t stop taking care of you.” 

Bucky makes a noncommital noise and shrugs and Steve strokes over his back and along his side, trailing his fingers under the water. 

“Baby you’re mine either way, you know that, right?” Steve asks carefully. 

Bucky turns his face and Steve looks at him, that soft smile on his face that makes Bucky feel melty on the inside even at his most stoic of times. 

“When we’re playing, or when it’s just us, you’re still mine - you’re still my sweetheart,” Steve says, hitching Bucky closer to him, letting the water slosh a little and giving it no mind. 

It takes a long while for Bucky to come down but later that night when they’re in bed together and Steve is stroking through his damp hair and Bucky is wrapped up in one of Steve’s too-big tee shirts and a pair of boxer briefs looking ‘fucking adorable’ as Steve had said, Steve promises they can talk about longer scenes sometime. About doing something for more than a few hours if Bucky wants to try it in the future, but there’s no pressure. 

“I think I might like to,” Bucky says, holding one of Steve’s hands under the covers. “Can I ask you something?” 

“Mmhmm,” Steve hitches him closer, getting Bucky comfortable against his chest, nestled in the pillows. 

“When you stopped halfway through...did something happen?” 

Steve makes a low sound and rubs a hand over Bucky’s chest, “just like you go into subspace there’s sort of a Dom headspace? I was there and I could’ve gone further in, the way you kept saying I owned you… but I didn’t want to go that direction as much as I wanted to just be your Daddy in that moment.” 

Bucky makes a noncommittal sound and Steve kisses behind his ear, “I needed it to just be the two of us. Bucky it was important for me to have you out of a scene in that moment as much as possible. To keep myself centered and to keep you from going any deeper too. I liked it where we were - it was about maintaining. Kind of a safety thing I guess. Does that help?” 

Bucky nods and turns a little so he can look in Steve’s face, scooting up and giving him a soft kiss, “you always take good care of me.” 

“Of course, honey…” Steve says, stroking over the back of Bucky’s neck and into his hair. "I always will."

*****


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this installment, Bucky has a bit of a flashback to his kidnapping bad time - nothing too bad, what I would consider a mild panic attack and associated symptoms. Thankfully he has Steve there to bring him down. There's a little bit of medical stuff in this (but not a lot) it's a bit like having an EEG/EKG but .. different .. still, about that surface level of work being done so nothing too in depth! Otherwise this is a pretty mild chapter with some set up for plot! Let me know if I forgot to tag for anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished my dissertation (loud screaming) and then I got a new job (holy shit) and I'm moving halfway across the country in two weeks (what the fuck). 
> 
> In any event here's a new chapter to tide you over while those things happen. I also have been mapping out the rest of the fic and should be done in the next 5 chapters so you'll note that's been updated. That doesn't mean this whole WORLD is completed. Rather that we'll end this part of it at 20 and then start part II ;) Thanks for your patience lads.

“What’s that?” Steve asks, peering over Bucky’s shoulder as he walks by the couch. 

“Pepper gave me a Stark ipad or whatever they call it. That first day we met?” 

Steve makes an ‘o’ face and nods running his fingers through Bucky’s hair and smiling, “have fun with it, those things are top of the line and can run any program you want… Tony gave me one too and he’s frustrated to no end that all I do is use it to read and play hand-eye coordination games.” 

“You play games?” Bucky cranes his neck back to look at him and Steve smiles a little, “don’t get smart.” 

“Mm, you love that I’m smart.” 

Steve’s smile softens and he leans over to press a kiss to Bucky’s lips, “yes I do. I’m going to go work in my office - you need anything just come get me.” 

Bucky looks back down at his Stark pad and reopens the browser he had open for apartments and sighs. Even with the raise he got from moving up into the EHTS he’s still pretty sure he can’t afford any of the places that are close to Steve’s house. There’s one place that’s renting a basement unit that has utilities included that’s doing a showing today but they close it up in the next hour and Bucky weasels off the couch, jogging into Steve’s study, holding the pad up. 

“Actually, do you … do you have a minute?” 

Steve nods and scoots forward so he can hold his hand out and Bucky passes over the Stark pad with a sigh, “I’ve been - well I spend a lot of time here and I don’t feel right bailing on my roommates so much… so I was thinking about getting my own place, right?” 

“Okay,” Steve nods, flicking through the pictures of the studio that Bucky found.   
“But I want to find somewhere close to here because I want to be able to come over when I want and you’re near enough to work and school that it’s a convenient neighborhood… it’s just kind of expensive so it’s hard to find places but this one is renting and I was wondering if maybe you’d go look at it with me?” Bucky rambles off and taps the screen again and Steve smiles at him, nodding. 

“Sure, Bucky, you wanna go now?” 

“Yeah, if we -- if we could, I need to go home this weekend anyways to do some laundry and stuff so… I don’t know,” Bucky says, feeling kind of mixed up at the feeling of leaving Steve. He’s been over at his house all week after the accident and recovery and it’s been … good. Like better than normal and he doesn’t want this to be over but he’s not -- _they’re_ not. 

He hears Steve scooting back and he follows him out to the garage with his cell phone and the listing still up on the pad, giving Steve directions as they make small talk and Bucky tries to take in how far the house is from Steve’s. Is it walkable? Maybe he could get a bike or something… Would Steve let the car come get him if he wanted to come over randomly? God why can’t he just go on staying with Steve? No that’s weird. 

When they pull up in front of the house, Bucky frowns, it’s further away from Steve’s than he thought it would be and the pictures don’t even look like the same place. 

“Is this... “ Steve takes the pad and glances at the building in front of them and the building in the photos. 

“Yeah,” Bucky says faking confidence, “they must just be uhm, you know renovating or something.” He hops out of the car and follows the open house sign around to the advertised private entrance around back. He expects to find a nice front-door style entry but what he gets is a heavy steel door with no peep hole and a bare bulb hanging off to the side. 

“Buck--” Steve starts. 

“Renovating!” Bucky reminds him, knocking on the heavy steel. 

No one answers and Bucky tries the knob, finding it unlocked and letting them both in. It’s… 

Bucky shudders and takes a step back out and slams the door. 

Steve gives him a look and Bucky shakes his head, swallowing down the taste of bile and shoving his hands in his pockets as he fast-walks to the car. 

“Buck--BUCK!” Steve calls after him, having to run up the driveway to catch him, but Bucky runs the last few feet and dives into the passenger seat, buckling himself in with shaking hands and shaking his head again. 

Steve jogs around to his side of the car and hops in, leaning over the console and wrapping an arm around Bucky’s shoulders, and trying to bring him closer. 

“Baby, baby what is it?” Steve asks, running his fingers into Bucky’s hair and kissing at his temple. Bucky can hear him, can hear the note of distress in his voice, but he’s powerless to do anything about it except close his eyes and take shuddery breaths that don’t quite make it all the way down into his lungs. It takes him more than a minute to get it together enough to hiss out a reply. 

“London.” 

It’s not even… there aren’t even that many similarities now that he’s not staring the damn room in the face but just for a minute the smell inside the space, the way the room was unlit and the lack of windows made him claustrophobic and panicky so fast he couldn’t bear to be there a second longer. He knows it’s irrational in the daylight, in Steve’s car, where it smells like _Steve_ but it felt real back there… he lets Steve hold him a little longer and then they go back home where Bucky frowns at the Stark pad and unfollows that listing with a vengeance. 

Steve strokes along his spine and kisses into his hair, trying to pull him closer, “I’m sorry, sweetheart, we’ll find you something better eventually, alright?” 

“I guess.” 

*****

The next morning, Steve takes him back to Nat and Clint’s house and Bucky invites him in for the inevitable awkward moment - might as well get it all over with if they’re going to be living in this situation a bit longer. 

Clint meets them on the front porch and leans in the doorway dramatically, “did you make sure to bring his meds and his toothbrush, Steven?” 

“Thank you for making me feel like we’re trading off a kid in a divorce,” Steve says, rolling his eyes. 

“That’s exactly what I was going for,” Clint reaches out and drags Bucky into a crushing hug, swaying him back and forth as they move through the doorway, “NATASHA OUR SON IS BACK FROM HIS OTHER FATHER’S HOME, FINALLY.” 

“I think he calls him ‘Daddy’” Natasha says, smirking as she pokes her head out of the kitchen, making Bucky squawk. 

“And I like it,” Steve says, looking unapologetic as he carries Bucky’s stuff in from the car, toting it off to his room as Nat and Clint give him the third degree like only good friends can. 

“You gonna finally spend the night in your bed?” Natasha ribs him. “You might want to launder the sheets they have a fine coating of dust on them since you’ve been away so long.” 

“We may need to air out the whole room,” Clint sighs, “can’t believe, our little James back from the war.” 

“God you are not making me want to stay,” Bucky moans, dragging himself away so he can check and see if he needs to help Steve with anything. He finds Steve already tucking the last bag away and Bucky walks up behind him and wraps his arms around Steve’s waist and noses into his shoulder. 

“They’re going to embarrass me to death. I didn’t think it was possible.” 

Steve chuckles and runs his hand over Bucky’s arm, “that’s how you know they’re your _best_ friends. Tony manages to do the same to me.” 

It’s kind of soothing, knowing that your stone cold boyfriend _can_ get embarrassed and Bucky lets that thought carry him through to dinner - Steve stays of course - the four of them sitting around the table like civilised adults eating take out off of actual plates. It’s nice knowing that all of them work together so they can talk about everything without any weird silences or trying to find ways around the topics. Bucky had never let it bother him, none of them had really, they knew they were all doing the best they could and they all took care of one another and that’s what mattered at the end of the day. Still, knowing you can just tell everyone in front of you that you had a shitty day and whose fault it was and everyone can relate … it feels good. 

There’s also the whole thing about … well … moving out. 

“I uh, I went and looked at a place,” Bucky says as they’re clearing plates away. 

“Yeah?” Clint helps him by packing some of the leftovers as Natasha pours extra wine for herself and Steve. 

“It wasn’t a good fit but I’m in the market I guess.” 

“You know you can stay here as long as you want to,” Natasha says. 

“But it’s supposed to be your guest room,” Bucky points out, rinsing off another dish and putting it into the dishwasher. 

“And you’re our guest,” Clint says, nudging him. 

“And I appreciate that but I should get my own place eventually, and now that I have an adult job it might be a little easier to do that in DC.” 

Natasha snorts, “this fucking market…” 

Steve taps his glass to hers and mutters “here here” as Bucky tucks another dish away. 

“We’ll keep an eye out for you - for anything that looks promising,” Clint says. 

“Thanks, that’d be great.” 

Afterwards, as the night winds down, Bucky starts to get an anxious knot in his stomach. Natasha retires early like she usually does; to read and probably play a game on her tablet. Clint takes his hearing aids out and signs with Bucky about work the next day, Clint is going in to the office but Bucky is heading to Stark Industries for some testing on his arm. Steve said he can go with him at least. Clint blows him a kiss and heads upstairs as Bucky goes back and climbs onto the couch with Steve. 

“Hey,” Steve pulls Bucky into his lap and Bucky lays his head on Steve’s shoulder with a sigh. 

“You heading home soon?” Bucky asks. 

“I probably should, especially if I’m going to pick you up first thing in the morning,” Steve strokes through Bucky’s hair and kisses his cheek. “Or I could spend the night.” 

Bucky’s whole body relaxes and he feels … safe. 

“Would you?” 

“Yeah sweetheart,” Steve says quietly, wrapping him up tighter, “I know what you need.” 

Bucky makes a sound in the back of his throat and Steve just holds him closer, leaning in to give him a surprisingly chaste kiss that makes Bucky melt into him. 

“C’mon then, let’s go to bed.” 

Curled up under the covers, Steve spoons around him on his too-small mattress to make them both fit and Bucky huffs a little at how it’s absurd when they could be spread out on Steve’s massive bed but Steve just kisses a line of soft kisses behind his ear and makes a low sound. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone over here before,” Bucky admits, “couldn’t really bring home someone since -- well -- my roommates were secret agents and all.” 

Steve lets out a little snort of amusement and sets his teeth into Bucky’s ear playfully, “am I the first boy you’ve brought home, is that what you’re saying?” 

“Yeah that… that’s what I’m saying,” Bucky says, turning a little, “Steve it’s …” 

Bucky turns fully around until they’re facing each other, having to tangle together in the small space and this time it’s Bucky who reaches out first, running his hand up Steve’s chest, cupping his face, tracing over his jaw, and into his hair. The lights are out but he can feel the little movements in the dark, the twitch of Steve’s muscles, the way he turns into the caress, the way he kisses into Bucky’s palm with reverence. It’s probably the serum - little things enhancing in his body - hell he feels like he can see Steve in the dark half the time - but he doesn’t mind, he kind of likes this, knowing what’s happening, feeling it all with the heightened senses. 

Steve’s hands are under his shirt, rubbing up and down his back, just a soft tracing of fingertips along his spine or over his ribs and muscle. It’s so soothing, so gentle and it could turn sexual if they wanted it to, if they let it, but right now it’s just bright and soft. The way Steve holds him together and Bucky lets his mouth press wet, open-mouthed kisses to Steve’s throat, to the corner of his mouth. Like this is as far as it could go, that this is as far it’s going. 

But one gentle smear of his lips against Steve’s beard, Steve’s hands spreading between his shoulders and over his hip, and Bucky is breathing out that thing he’s been holding in. Like a bubble popping over them. _”I think I love you.”_

Like the words don’t want to be kept in anymore, like he can’t quite figure out how to stop them, but as they come out he immediately panics, wanting to go back and moderate them backwards because he feels them, he knows they’re true but he’s scared that Steve won’t like it for some reason - like those words are gonna upset _him_. 

“Yeah, sweetheart,” Steve whispers back, dragging him closer, slotting their lips together so that when he answers he’s kissing the words right into Bucky’s mouth, “I _know_ I love you.” 

Bucky makes a wounded sound and Steve catches him up, kissing him deep and with a kind of intensity that Bucky isn’t sure they’ve hit yet - or maybe they have and he’d just been downplaying what it meant this entire time. But now he knows - and he squirms to get closer - to get his arms around Steve and try to get him closer still. 

“Baby,” Steve noses at him and Bucky melts, tipping his head back and sighing as Steve takes the hint and kisses into his neck, “what do you want?” 

“Just you,” Bucky admits quietly, “just this is fine - it’s enough - I just want it to be you.” 

Steve kisses him harder, rolling Bucky half under him to get them closer but not taking it any further. It’s slow and deep and Bucky lets Steve set the pace, lets him keep it even and sedate and it’s so good, so delicious. 

“Sweetheart,” Steve murmurs, shifting them around and snuggling closer so that Bucky is tucked into his chest. Bucky spreads himself out there and gets comfortable, letting Steve kiss into his shoulder and finger comb his hair. It makes the stress from the weekend melt out and that tension he’s had wrapped up in his body uncoils completely and he relaxes and falls asleep immediately. 

***** 

“Buckeroo.” 

“Bucky.” 

“Buckeroni.” 

“Bucky?” 

“Buckminster Fullerine.” 

“I’m okay with that.” 

Tony taps at the Stark pad in his hand and then reaches out to adjust one of the sticky nodes that’s attached to Bucky’s left arm. On the other side of the room, Bruce raises an eyebrow and Tony shrugs. 

“So,” he pulls up a rolling stool and sits down, “what we’re going to do is check the status of the serum and how far it’s incubated in your system. Some of the later versions could take up to 2 months to fully settle in the host but that’s a long shot. I think what we’re seeing here is the serum has matured through the rest of your system and that’ll require some physical tests to prove out - but your current health and status are vastly improved, any past ailments aren’t healing.” 

Bucky frowns, “is that bad?” 

“Not necessarily!” Tony says, “you were in really good health so there wasn’t a lot for the serum to do to you other than enhance you, give your cells some elasticity and shit like that, but ultimately it just took you to 11 from a 9. The only really traumatic injury you had was your arm and it provided amped up muscle around that but it didn’t heal the scar tissue out.” 

“But when I had the serum it completely cured me,” Steve says. 

“No offense, Rogers, but we were starting with a 2 back then and you went to a 10.” 

Steve starts to open his mouth, stops, looks thoughtful and then nods. 

“Also lets face it the serum you got was brutal and a completely different kind of animal than what Barnes here was put through… same family of drugs but … wildly different in terms of the biochemical makeup.” 

“Can we start the test now,” Bruce calls, “we do have a timetable to stick to.” 

Tony sighs, “don’t ever work with other people,” he whispers to Bucky, “work alone, don’t have teammates, don’t make friends, have assistants, none of it.” 

“I can still hear you through the mic,” Bruce calls. 

Tony groans and hits the start button on the pad in front of him. 

“This isn’t going to hurt, you may feel some light electric pulses as your muscle groups are activated but nothing will shock you or cause you pain.” 

He rolls away and Steve hovers closer, sitting near Bucky but not touching him since it is a physical test. They look at each other sidelong and Steve gives him a gentle smile and Bucky blushes, and he knows he’s being obvious but he doesn’t care. 

The test runs for a little while and Tony disconnects him from the electrodes and Bucky puts his shirt back on. Steve’s comfortably stretched out in a big squashy chair that’s for waiting guests and Bucky goes and sits in Steve’s lap like it’s no big deal. Honestly he’s kind of exhausted and he lays his head on Steve’s shoulder and Steve just hums and shifts him around so they’re both comfortable. 

“You okay?” Steve asks. 

“Mmhmm,” Bucky pushes his face into Steve’s sweater and closes his eyes, “let me know when they’re ready to talk again I guess.” 

Steve squeezes him and Bucky dozes off without even realizing it. Bucky forgets that when he’s tense, and basically all medical shit makes him tense, he wears himself out fast and then he’s absolutely useless. 

Tony and Bruce come back after about a half hour and are ready to debrief so Steve and Bucky and the two mad scientists gather ‘round a casual conference table with fresh coffee (Tony knows what’s up) and some snacks and Tony goes over some of the mechanical fixes while Bruce points out the physical limitations of the body. Bucky immediately understands why Pepper has them working together on this project. 

“It’s strange because your arm isn’t completely useless, and the enhancement from the serum is helping, but you’ve still got scar tissue and nerve damage that are taking up a lot of functionality from the limb,” Tony says as Bruce points out the issues on a scan. “What we think would be most helpful is a series of neuropathic updates, implanting a cybernetic work around that bypasses your broken nerve signals and instead creates a new one, a stronger one. It would mean some surgery but nothing intense we’re talking tiny holes, tiny instruments, tiny subdermal implants. Nanotech blah blah blah.” 

Bruce rolls his eyes, “there are risks associated like with any surgical procedure but if you wanted to go forward with it we can keep you informed about those and everything possible would be done to minimize the risk, obviously. Your life is more important than cool robot upgrades.” 

Tony pops a donut hole into his mouth and scowls at Bruce before talking with his mouth full, “but he can have both.” 

Bucky nods and then sighs, “can I think about it?” 

“Oh yeah of course,” Tony says, pushing a folder over to him, “you have time to consider if this is something you want - all the details are in there, all the test results - both raw data and a more lay analysis. If you decide you want to do this or if you want to try something else, just let us know.” 

“I’ve just had enough metal inside me for now so I kind of want to think about if I need more,” Bucky says. 

“Bitch don’t I know that feeling,” Tony says under his breath and rubbing at his chest. 

They part ways and Steve is aiming them towards the parking garage when Bucky fidgets and checks his phone. 

“After class tonight can uh...can I come over to your house instead?” 

“Yeah of course, baby,” Steve says, reaching out and squeezing his hand, “you can come over whenever you want. Is everything okay?” 

“I just don’t … like medical stuff and I’m scared I might have a nightmare later and I don’t want to be alone if I do,” Bucky says and then scrunches his face up, “but that also means I’ll be at your house having a nightmare so maybe that’s not a great idea because then I’ll wake you up and-”

“You’re absolutely staying the night, no no no,” Steve cuts him off and reels him into a hug, “I want to be there, okay?” 

Bucky nods, and lets Steve hold him a minute more and then pulls back when the elevator doors ding open, “okay.” 

Steve gives his hand another squeeze and they head towards the car. 

*****

The rest of the week is actually without incident after that whole medical check in thing. Bucky goes the entire week to class and work, doing his whole 9-5 grind plus school and it isn’t that bad. Work is good once he starts in on actual projects and isn’t just their little test subject or new recruit that needs to be buffeted around from place to place. The only strange part comes at the end of each day. Bucky feels some kind of pressure to go back home and stay with Nat and Clint, but on the nights he’s there he misses Steve but he also feels a little weird inviting him over, so the next day he’ll stay at Steve’s house. 

That part? That part’s _exhausting_. 

He loves his friends and spending time with them, but he really loves the security of being with Steve. His apartment hunt is going tits-up and that’s being polite about it. The last three places he called about seemed like really advanced scams and the one legit one that came through was $400 over budget. Like okay, it’s DC it’s a swamp, it’s not SPECIAL. He goes over to Steve’s house on Friday to spend the weekend and on the one hand he wants to get bent over the closest surface and fucked into a coma but he’s so tired he’s going to fall asleep before he can even get through foreplay. He’s going to be lucky if he doesn’t fall asleep during dinner. 

“You okay sweetheart?” Steve says, bringing take out into the living room where Bucky is watching Real Housewives with a little bit of drool on his chin. 

“I’m just… I feel like I need my own place. I want to spend more time with you but having you over with Nat and Clint is like inviting you over to my parent’s house and I want to have a place where you can stay over with me and it’s more … our space…” Bucky huffs and picks up some of the curry that Steve’s sat down in front of him. “But everywhere I look is so expensive that it’s like, out of my reach? And I’m so not comfortable with like, a different roommate scenario.” 

“What about here?” Steve asks. 

“Like your neighborhood? I checked but no one is renting their guest houses for anything under $2k a month which is insane by the way….” 

Steve snorts and then shakes his head, “no I mean like here, with me.” 

Bucky frowns and looks at him, “I don’t understand.” 

“I have that unfinished guest room, and I have way more space than I need...you could have your own room, you can come and go when you want or need, you can stay in my room if you want, or I can stay in yours.” 

“Is that… is that weird though,” Bucky asks quietly, “I feel like, I haven’t uhm done a relationship like this and I don’t want to fuck it up and I’m scared that doing this is gonna fuck it up.” 

Steve has this sweet crooked smile and Bucky pokes at his curry trying not to turn red from embarrassment. 

“You told me you love me,” Steve says, nudging Bucky’s knee with his own, “I think that’s a good indicator that we’re fine and that this isn’t going to fuck things up.” 

“I said I think I love you.” 

Steve laughs, “yeah and the next morning when I was fucking you in that tiny little bed before work, you said ‘I really _really_ love you’.” 

Bucky grumps, “maybe that was a heat of the moment admission!” 

“Mm, I don’t think it was,” Steve says, reaching out and turning Bucky’s face towards his for a kiss. “Listen, you have an open invitation to move in here. I have the room, I would love to have you closer because I’m selfish like that, but you are not obligated to move in here okay? And if you did live here, your friends are welcome whenever.” 

Bucky is quiet for a minute and he watches as Steve gets his own take out to start in on, “I uhm, I don’t have a lot of stuff to move,” Bucky says. 

“That just makes it easier,” Steve says, brushing it off as not a big deal. 

“No I mean… I don’t… none of the furniture is mine that’s all guest room stuff I just have like clothes and books,” Bucky pushes the curry around his plate, “I don’t really have a room to move or set up so…” 

Steve looks over at him and Bucky looks up at meet his gaze. 

“Then I guess we have some shopping to do, huh?” Steve says, gently, “you can decorate however you want. It’s your room. Your rules. Want to go to Ikea tomorrow?” 

“Yeah, yeah alright,” Bucky says, letting out a long breath. 

“That mean you’ll move in?” Steve asks after a long silence. 

“I guess it does.” 

When they climb into bed later, Bucky curls into Steve’s side just how he likes and runs his hand over Steve’s stomach underneath the covers, staring into the darkness. 

“Do I have to sleep in my room every night or like, on assigned nights?” he asks. 

Steve snorts, “you can sleep wherever you want. Your room, the couch, my study… I think you know where I’d like you but it’s always up to you.” He gives Bucky a gentle kiss on his forehead and shifts them so they’re closer together. “And you don’t have to only put your things in your room - you can have stuff in the living room, other spaces. It’s your house now.” 

Bucky takes a shuddery breath and doesn’t know what to do with that feeling, that responsibility. That this is his place too because he’s with Steve. That what they have is stable and okay and _good_ and he’s allowed to have this thing and enjoy it. 

*****

Bucky wakes up and Steve is carding his fingers through his hair, a gentle touch that’s not meant to stir him but is probably more for Steve’s comfort than anything. His other hand is paging through something on his Stark pad and Bucky shifts around so he can eavesdrop a little on it. Steve just shifts to accommodate him and Bucky reaches out, tapping on a bed that Steve’s looking at. 

“Is this for my room?” Bucky asks. 

“Just getting ideas before we get to ikea, better to have a game plan,” Steve smiles a little and Bucky leans up and kisses at the underside of Steve’s jaw. 

“So I’m still moving in?” Bucky asks. 

“You still want to, then yes,” Steve says, hitching him closer and kissing at his temple. “Do you want to talk to your friends about it first?” 

“Maybe,” Bucky, “I’m still gonna say yes though.” 

Which is true. Well, and he also knows how his friends feel about Steve. They’re probably going to give him a little bit of ribbing for moving in with him after only a couple of months or whatever but it’s DC and it makes sense with what they do and it’s not like … well in terms of big secrets it’s not like they have any … actually they have each other kind of by the balls with this whole secret agent thing. Not that he thinks Steve would ever use it against him, they’re wow… Bucky pauses and looks over at his boyfriend, this big, huge guy who’s stretched out in his stupid expensive house who has everything he wants and is rich and powerful and Bucky realizes they’re on the same page - they’re even. He feels completely equal to Steve. It takes his breath away a little, that whatever Steve does for him, the way he treats him builds him up to feel like that but it’s true and fuck he really loves it. 

He really loves Steve. Shit. 

When he gets up to shower he texts Clint and Natasha. 

**Murder House**

**12 Point Buck**   
I have some moving news

 **Suit & Bow Tie**   
Did you find a place? 

**12 Point Buck**   
Kind of, more like a place found me? 

**Nat Attack**   
It better be in a good part of town that’s near an MTA stop

 **12 Point Buck**   
Kind of? Steve invited me to live with him? 

There’s a moment where the chat is just typing bubbles and no response and Bucky stares for a moment and then feeling some kind of anxiety about disapproval he sets his phone to silent and jumps into the shower and decides to deal with it after. He’s not surprised when Steve pokes his head in and asks if he can join him and Bucky just slides the door back enough and Steve slips in behind him, wrapping an arm around his waist and kissing against one damp shoulder. 

“You ready to do a little shopping today?” he asks. 

Bucky hums and leans back into Steve’s broad body and closes his eyes against the spray, “yeah, I guess so, you gonna help me put it all together later?” 

Steve sighs, “I guess I have to…” but Bucky can feel him smiling. 

He knows Steve can afford whatever he wants, whatever Bucky wants, but he knows Steve is doing this for him, going somewhere that’s still in Bucky’s price range so he doesn’t feel uncomfortable with how expensive it is and making Bucky feel like he can still buy it if he wants to and that makes him feel warm all over even if he doesn’t say it. 

Bucky gets out first and gets dressed, putting off checking his texts until he has to and then settling on the bed, legs crossed as he opens the chat. 

**Murder House**

**Suit & Bow Tie**   
That sly fucking dog, I knew he liked you but I had no idea he was going to try and steal our sweet young man away so soon. 

**Nat Attack**   
Do you think that’s a good idea, you haven’t been together that long… 

**Suit & Bow Tie**   
Nat, c’mon it’s Steve - you know he wears his heart on his sleeve and when he wants something he goes for it. It’s not like he’s hiding anything either - we would know it. 

**Nat Attack**   
I get that but I meant for Bucky, you sure you feel good about this? You’re not just doing it because you think it’s your only option, right? 

**12 Point Buck**   
No, I know I have other options, but this feels like the best option. The option I want the most. I want to be close to you guys, to school, to work, to Steve… and his house is kind of all of those things. 

**Nat Attack**   
Ours is too. 

**12 Point Buck**  
Yeah but I can’t have sex with him in your house

 

 **Suit & Bow Tie**   
Yeah you can! There’s not a no sex rule! 

**12 Point Buck**  
Oh I know I just mean I CAN’T have sex in that house with you like, I can’t get turned on. It’s like having sex with your parents in the next room. 

**Suit & Bow Tie**   
I am HURT. 

**Nat Attack**   
We have sex all the time. 

**12 Point Buck**  
This is why I’m moving. LMAO help. 

Bucky snorts and puts his phone down as Steve comes in wearing nothing but his jeans and a tee shirt, hair still damp. 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah I was -- I was just texting Clint and Nat … they were… they were themselves,” Bucky laughs a little and shakes his head, nudging his phone away and standing up to go grab his shoes. “We should probably get this started if we want to have enough time to assemble anything before it gets dark.” 

“Oh ye of little faith, I might be a really good Ikea furniture assembler!” Steve counters, going to his closet with a grin. 

*****

Over the next week Bucky learns a lot of things. 

Steve is actually pretty good at assembling Ikea furniture.   
He’s better at breaking it in.   
Bucky puts a chair together backwards and is humiliated.   
Steve fixes it while Bucky is having a soak in the jacuzzi.  
Being able to invite Steve into his room at the end of the night is kind of a huge thrill.   
Even if all they do is make out and cuddle.   
Packing up his things from Nat and Clint’s house is super emotional.   
Up until Nat shoves him and tells him to leave so she can peg her husband.  
Going to work with Steve in the morning does not get old.   
Especially when Steve makes him coffee to go and kisses him awake. 

But they still have jobs and lives and there’s school and there’s … work. 

Fury calls him into his office and Bucky feels something like terror zip up his spine. When he gets in there though, Fury is sitting behind his desk with a dossier in front of him and looking benign. As benign as Fury ever looks, really. 

“You seem to be doing well, Agent Barnes.” 

Bucky nods and stands at parade rest until Fury motions to one of the chairs opposite him. 

“How do you feel about going out in the field?” 

“I’d love to sir,” Bucky says, settling down and trying to get as much information from the situation as he can. Not that there’s a lot to take in, Fury purposely seems to leave his office blank. 

“Do you think you’re ready for it?” Fury asks. 

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” 

Fury nods and slides the file he’s been looking at over to Bucky. 

“Local law enforcement have escalated a threat in the midwest, you and Agent Rogers are going to be sent out to neutralize the threat and tie up any loose ends,” Fury taps his pen on the page dragging Bucky’s attention to a series of photos and maps. 

“A plane went down right around here,” Fury’s capped pen circles the space and Bucky nods, “we have civilian reports of eyes-on the crash, we have FAA radar confirmation, we even have local security camera footage, but here is exactly where the plane crashed.” 

Fury turns his laptop around and there’s a live feed of a lake. There’s not so much as a twig out of place and Bucky frowns. “Huh.” 

“People are now starting to question if maybe it was a plane they saw, maybe it was just a weather balloon… one or two people are claiming UFO because of course they are after the last ten years of bullshit… but this was obviously a plane. So. Pack up and ship out. You’ll be on the next jet in probably 2 hours. Time enough to get equipped and briefed.” 

“Yes sir,” Bucky stands up and motions to the dossier before Fury snaps it closed and hands it to him. 

“Think of this as trial by fire, Barnes.” 

“Of course, sir.” 

Bucky nods and walks out, letting out a deep breath and re-routing towards his desk to grab his laptop before he heads towards the field office. He doesn’t bother texting Steve, if Steve is his assigned partner, he’ll already know what’s going on and it would be unprofessional to text about a covert op anyways. 

It’s strange but being back here isn’t as nerve wracking as Bucky thought it would be, it actually feels nice, feels useful to be doing this all again but in different circumstances. It also feels nice to be doing it with Steve and Nat and Clint at his side.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's no sex in this chapter it's all action but with that said there's an encounter with HYDRA that involves violence. So there's mentions of weapons and injuries but no one human dies and our heroes make it out okay so I don't think there's much to warn about directly. If you read it and feel triggered by something or feel that I've missed a warning let me know and I'll totally add it and I apologize in advance for missing it. 
> 
> Overall though I think it should be okay! Also enjoy some new characters showing up....

There’s a little jet that takes them out to the site, and the thrill of it being piloted by Steve is not lost on Bucky. 

“I can’t believe I didn’t know you were a pilot,” Bucky says, glancing over at Steve as they start to come in for a landing. 

“There’s a lot of things I couldn’t tell you because of clearances that now you’ll get to find out,” Steve says with a smirk, eyes never leaving the console. 

The jet itself is more high tech than anything Bucky has ever seen in the military and he’s a little starstruck by the technology but he figures since EHTS is bankrolled by Stark they probably have all of his cool tools so he’s not going to spend too much time thinking about it or worrying. 

Steve takes the jet down close to the lake, landing it like a helicopter in a small clearing light as a feather and Bucky just shakes his head at how surreal it is. This man was putting together his ikea bed last week and woke him up this morning calling him ‘baby boy’ and now he’s all business in his tac gear and landing a fucking jet. God… 

“You good?” Steve asks, taking off his headset and flipping the switches to power down the engines. 

“Yeah, yeah…” Bucky unbuckles his seatbelt and pushes off, stepping into the back to load his guns before they take out. Steve meets him back there, picking up a shield and service revolver but more out of necessity than desire. 

He grabs Bucky before Bucky unseals the hatch and wraps a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him close.

“I know you’re a professional and you know the difference between work and home but… out there it’s work and I’m still gonna worry about you,” Steve says, voice quiet. He noses close and kisses Bucky soft in the dark and low glow of the emergency lights. “Be careful, Buck - I’ll always have your back but don’t take unnecessary risks, honey.” 

“Steve-” Bucky pushes up on his toes and wraps an arm around him tight, hugging him and burying his face into the kevlar of his suit and not sure how to respond other than to just nod and let Steve hold him a minute. He knows, objectively, it’ll probably be okay but he hadn’t really taken into account what it would be like to _work_ with Steve. He was so fucking wrecked when Steve came home hurt but if he has to see it happen… at least he’ll be there so he can be _with_ Steve but it’s so hard to think about. 

Steve lets him go after a moment and Bucky takes a step back, nodding and trying to be professional, letting Steve open the door, the two of them stepping out being greeted by a cadre of FBI agents that greet Steve by name and shake his hand. 

They’re led back to the site and Bucky follows along, taking note of everything around them, looking for signs that maybe they missed. Not that he expects the FBI to have overlooked something but he isn’t sure what they’ve gotten around to yet and he likes doing his own recon, thank you very fucking much. He ambles along just around Steve’s six and traces what he thinks must have been the flight trajectory with his eyes. Still, much like the photos, nothing even looks out of place. If something went down, especially a distressed aircraft, it would’ve made one hell of a ruckus - but there aren’t even an abundance of pine needles on the ground to indicate that things are amiss. 

In a small clearing by the lake, there’s an assortment of special forces at the ready but out of place is what looks to Bucky like a fully medieval tent. It’s like something out of a Renaissance Faire and he wonders if it was just collateral damage of a nearby property owner or something up until the flap is shoved back and a man steps out of it in armor and a red cloak. 

Bucky stares, trying to make sure his mouth doesn’t unhinge itself, but it’s hard since the guy is an absolutely brick shithouse and could even give Steve a run for his money in terms of sheer body volume. 

“Steve Rogers!” the man booms. 

“Thor!” 

The two of them embrace and Steve has to go up on his toes a little as Thor squeezes him close, dropping Steve back down with a stiff pat between his shoulder blades. 

“I hope this isn’t to do with my brother.”

“No, Loki is fine as far as we know… we’re here to see about the plane.” 

Thor nods and motions to the glassy surface of the lake behind him. 

“Ah, a most mysterious happenstance,” Thor winks and looks over to Bucky and Bucky gets that same feeling he got the moment he looked at Loki back when they met at headquarters. “You are the new Infinitous.” 

“Infin…” Bucky trails off. 

“He is,” Steve says, “this is James Barnes, our new recruit.” 

Thor smiles at him and holds out a hand to shake and when Bucky takes it, Thor shakes it with a surprisingly gentle touch, “you are a warrior like Steve.” 

Bucky blinks and then nods, slowly, a little out of sorts, “I … yes? Former I suppose…” 

“Mm,” Thor hums, a pleased noise in the back of his throat like a very large cat. Thor gives Bucky a warm smile and looks to Steve, “I’m glad you found one another.” 

Bucky blinks between them but he assumes that by Steve’s smile it’s fine that Thor knows. Without further preamble, Thor moves towards the tent, motioning them along with him. 

“Come in, have a look at our findings, I think you’ll see this is clearly within our jurisdiction,” Thor says, holding the flap aside for them to enter. Steve motions him ahead and Bucky follows Thor wordlessly wondering when this became his life. It’s not like he’s mad about it but talk about surreal. Inside the tent there’s a… Bucky freezes and looks at Steve who’s smiling like a kid on Christmas morning. 

“We reviewed the video from your comrades in arms,” Thor says, motioning to a live holo-vid that’s on a frankly ridiculously sturdy wooden table that looks like a permanent fixture and not a pop-up variety camp furnishing. “When enhanced you see … _this_ ,” Thor says, sticking his hand inside the video and spreading his fingers out to zoom in on a shimmering _something_ near the water’s surface.” 

Steve leans in over Bucky’s shoulder to get a better look and Bucky squints. Thor moves his fingers once more to expand the image again and this time it’s … well it’s certainly resolved clearly but what it is remains a mystery. There’s a hole ripped into the top of the lake and the plane seems to be swallowed up by it. Thor deftly runs the simulation at a crawl so that they can watch the full disappearance, zoomed in, and sure enough… the lake shimmers and opens a portal for a lack of a better word and swallows the plane before returning back to a glassy top with not even a ripple. 

“Huh,” Steve rubs over his jaw and looks up at Thor, “looks like that thing that opened in Wakanda a month or so ago.” 

“Indeed,” Thor says, crossing big arms over his chest and looking at Bucky with a smile, “any thoughts?” 

“This is all new to me,” Bucky says, leaning in and slipping his hand inside the simulation to test it out, watching the video manipulate around his fingers is like all his favourite Star Trek episodes come to life. “What was the thing in Wakanda?” he asks, without looking up. 

Steve pulls up a chair and sits down, leaning against the table and watching Bucky play with the simulation. “About a month back, there was a rift that opened over the southern edge of Wakanda in one of the more remote areas that’s typically left open for farming, grazing lands that kind of thing. Of course Shuri - the princess and resident secretary of tech I guess is her title - monitors any kind of activity within the country so it just sends this alarm up in the center of the city. They race out there at which point there’s nothing left - just some residual feedback from where something tore through the defense grid.” 

“There was also a video from that,” Thor says, nodding to the table. He reaches out over the half that Bucky isn’t using and wriggles his fingers until a flicker of light wraps around his hand. “JARVIS, Wakanda footage of the rift, if you please, sir.” 

“Of course, Mr. Odinson,” a voice emanating from the table top speaks up and then there’s another clip of holo-vid, much the same as Bucky’s. The aircraft even looks the same when they’re side by side like this. 

The three of them watch the two ‘crashes’ happen simultaneously and they look like a ballet. If they weren’t recordings that they had made themselves, they’d almost look--

“Faked,” Bucky says quietly, furrowing his brow. 

“Hm?” Steve prompts. 

“There’s something not right about these,” Bucky mutters, crossing his arms over his chest. “Where were you when this was happening, Steve?” 

“The Wakanda rift? That was right around when you were picked up in--” Steve frowns and then looks at Bucky with a scowl. “I was going to be sent to Wakanda to investigate that but I pulled out when you were compromised,” Steve growls, “Natasha went to Wakanda with Maria and I went with Clint to London to do an evac.” 

“You think it was meant as a distraction?” Thor asks. 

“It seems a little weirdly coincidental that it would happen like that,” Bucky says with a hard frown.

He pauses the simulations and works his jaw, “we need to get the FBI out of here - they’re not safe.” 

“I can take care of that,” Steve says, pushing away from the table, “Thor, you wanna help? Diplomatic immunity blah blah blah?” 

Thor smiles and squeezes Steve’s shoulder, the two of them going out as Bucky goes back to the table and stares down at the data. 

Then, because he’s alone, “JARVIS, run a timeline of events between the Wakanda rift and the Barnes London Kidnapping.” 

“Of course Agent Barnes.” 

It’s just to satisfy his curiosity and maybe he’s completely off base but he’s pretty sure he’s not. 

JARVIS runs timelines of the Wakanda rift event with a series of 3D illustrations and dates first and then overlays the London Kidnapping over it and alongside it in the same fashion, highlighting where the two intersect. Bucky furrows his brow and taps his fingers against the edge of the table. He knew something was fucking up with that … but then that means that this 100% is not happenstance and someone is fucking with them, more than likely HYDRA if he had to make an educated guess. 

There’s a long pause outdoors as the last of the agents clear out and Bucky takes a minute to go over the footage again and again. He watches the timeline of events, how it all plays out perfectly in sync to distract EHTS from his whereabouts in London but then when he zooms into the two separate incidences what he notices is the way that the teams move. Their body language, how they handle orders, the careful almost mechanized way they fall into formation amongst one another.

He knows his captor, captors?, were human but some of the others… could they be robots? Some kind of advanced mechanized army?

Just as he’s about to get up and go tell Thor and Steve, he hears gunshots outside and leaps out of his seat, grabbing his rifle. 

“Fuck,” Bucky mutters, sprinting out of the tent and running headlong towards what he thinks might be the direction of the fray. He’s not sure what the fuck is going on but he’s got a pretty good idea that his captors are behind it and he’s out for revenge among other things. 

There’s a moment where he’s wondering if anything at all is happening, but then he hears dull clanging in the distance, return fire, shouting, and he knows that’s where Steve and Thor must be taking on at least some of them. But more importantly as Bucky gets closer, he starts taking fire. A bullet whizzes past him suddenly. Striking through the lower brush and Bucky grunts, tucking into a roll and glancing up to see if he can catch sight of whatever stupid fuck got that one off. 

Still, while he’s moving he can’t see shit even with the serum-advancements so he speeds up, sprinting low and fast before sliding into what he hopes is a good enough spot and glares up into the canopy. 

Taking point he drops lower into the cover and taps stealth mode on his tac gear feeling rather than seeing the field drop around him to shield him. Steve had told him stealth mode operated to make sure that any kind of heat-seeking detection was deflected and instead as long as he remained in cover he was relatively undetectable. Bucky lays still and listens, tuning in to any little twitch of foliage. There’s clatter in the distance, probably Thor and Steve still at it but he can hear something closer, whatever was shooting at him is near and he wants it bad.

Laying as still as he can, he waits it out, keeping his gun in position and taking one slow quiet breath after another. Bucky swears he can feel his heartbeat in his ears but then it’s all worth it, an enemy operative dropping down from the branches over him and radioing in. He can’t hear what he says, just sees a h4and go to his ear, sees his jaw move and when he starts to walk away Bucky fires.

With the silencer on, there’s barely more than a rustle and ‘pfft’ and the body crumples to the ground. Bucky stays still and waits, sees if any return fire comes but when nothing happens he stands and jogs to examine the body.

What he sees when he’s standing over it makes his blood chill down in his veins. Blown circuitry fried through by a high caliber round, a mechanical hand twitching in the underbrush. Bucky’s eyes dart around frantic before he uses a heavy knife in his belt and severs what looks to be a main line of communication between the upper circuits and the rest of the body. Then he’s dragging it into the underbrush and sprinting towards Steve and Thor.

It’s a fucking set up.

***

When Bucky bursts into the clearing, Steve and Thor are back to back and look almost like they’re enjoying themselves. there’s a scattershot of bodies around them and Bucky elbows through the closest target, using the butt of his rifle to send it staggering back.

“They’re robots!” he shouts over the din of the shield and the hammer. “This is a distraction; it’s a fucking set up!”

“What?” Steve catches his shield on his forearm and Bucky slings his rifle over his back, grabbing the closest enemy and going hand to hand. Steve shouts but only has time to get Bucky’s name past his lips before Bucky is tearing back the synthetic skin on the robot’s face and showing Steve the ugly wiring underneath.

“Shit.”

Thor turns to look over Steve’s shoulder and gives what Bucky can only describe as a roar. It’s enough to throw Bucky off and he kind of laughs, feeling a little bit the same sense of annoyance at the whole thing but he stops laughing when arms come around him and snatch him upwards.

“Holy-“

“BUCK!”

“We’re not _all_ robots, you know,” the voice says, muffled and distorted by the mask it’s wearing. Bucky struggles, reaching for whatever he can get on his belt but a strong electronic pulse shakes through him and he screams, his hands going rigid and his body jerking against his will.

The last thing he sees is a bright flash that he would think is lightning but … it’s a clear night and all the sudden he’s falling. 

When he jolts awake he can’t tell how long it’s been but there’s shouting. Steve and Thor are running away from where Bucky is on the ground and Bucky pushes himself up to sitting, his hands shaking as he watches something unbelievable happen. 

Without warning, something massive rises out of the lake, and with almost no sound, it moves above the tree line and is gone in a flash. 

“What the fuck?” 

****

Incidentally, he doesn’t have to wait too long for a response to that question. He’s peeling himself off the ground when a big hand wraps around his bicep and hauls him to standing, the rush of blood making him momentarily blink back stars but when he gets his bearings back he’s staring at Thor. 

“Your many-headed serpent friends.” 

“That’s such a strong word,” Bucky grits out. 

Thor smiles and pats him gingerly on the shoulder, “are you alright?” 

“I mean I wasn’t kidnapped. Again. So I’m going to count this as a win.” 

“Bucky!” Steve jogs up out of seemingly nowhere and Bucky holds a hand up, gives him a weak looking wave. 

“That last one was definitely not robot,” Bucky says darkly. 

Steve moves through the rest of the brush at a _pace_ and wraps an arm around Bucky’s waist, hauling him close and burying his face into his neck. 

“Thought there was that whole ‘separation of church and state’ thing or .. whatever,” Bucky says, stroking over Steve’s side and sinking into his embrace. 

“You’re not leaving my sight,” Steve tightens his hold and Bucky can feel the gentle press of his lips somewhere over the line of his tac gear. “Not again.” 

Bucky looks up as the sound of the fabric of the universe ripping open seems to … manifest in their vicinity. Bucky works his jaw and makes his ears pop and pulls back enough to see Thor raising his hammer to address what it seems he’s thinking is a threat. But out of nowhere he drops his stance when a person steps through. 

“Loki….” 

There, standing in the clearing with them amidst a scatter of robotic bodies is Loki who Bucky was VERY certain was back in DC at Pepper’s office working on plans for the gala that’s coming up at the end of the week. 

“Huh…” Bucky blinks but doesn’t question it because right now he has a _lot_ of questions and this isn’t even making the top fifteen. 

“They have it,” Loki says, spreading his hands and then snapping them tight until he can conjure an image of what looks like a cube of floating blue smoke. “It was tracked to earth and into the hands of HYDRA.” 

Thor makes a disgusted sound, “I thought it was being held in Asgard?” 

“It was found to be a fake…” Loki’s brows draw together and he shakes his head, “Pepper is concerned about inside work at EHTS, I’m considering reaching out to the Gr-”

“Don’t bring him in unless we have to,” Thor cuts him off. 

“What do you mean Pepper is worried about inside work?” Steve asks. 

“She’ll be briefing you at the gala is my guess. She wants to talk but...can’t risk being overt.” 

Steve nods and Bucky looks back and forth between them all and tries to piece what he knows with the rapidly incoming information. He’s having one of those moments like in it’s Always Sunny with Charlie and the Pepe Silvia conspiracy and he feels like when they get home he’s going to have to sit down with an awful lot of index cards. 

“Will you be attending the event, Thor? Pepper also wanted me to find out about that…” Loki’s voice breaks through the buzzing in Bucky’s brain. He sees Thor shake his head and frown. 

“I think I’ll follow up on the missing tesseract in Asgard actually…” 

“Is that what the blue cube is called?” Bucky asks. 

“It is,” Thor answers, looking much more serious than the man Bucky met only a few hours prior. 

“We have some data on it that I can read you in on during our flight back,” Steve says, shifting so he can get his hold more firmly around Bucky’s body. “Loki are you coming back with us?” 

Loki snorts and shakes his head, “no thank you’ll I’ll be using the fast travel option. I don’t fancy planes.” 

Steve holds his hand out and Thor shakes it, “I’ll clean up here and head to Asgard.” 

“Contact me privately with your findings, I have a feeling something bigger is going on and we can’t risk drawing in everyone at HQ.” 

“Aye,” Thor nods and Loki motions to Thor’s retreating back. 

“I’ll stay and help a bit before I return to DC…” 

“Fair enough - I can trust you won’t say anything internally?” Steve asks. 

“I’ll wait until you let me know what the cover story is,” Loki agrees. 

Steve nods and then guides Bucky back towards the jet and Bucky is all too happy to let him take over, following him through the underbrush and trying not to look too closely at some of the… aftermath. 

“Thor will make sure those get packed up and turned over to Tony’s lab is my guess,” Steve says, staring at the one that Bucky downed and giving it an impressed sort of once over that Bucky only barely acknowledges. 

There’s so much running through his head - the kidnapping as he experienced it, the Wakanda rift, this … the tesseract - whatever that is - and why they were even out here in the first place. How long had the tesseract been missing, what was its purpose? Shit it’s a lot… he goes through the motions of loading up into the jet and doesn’t really come back to himself until Steve is setting autopilot. 

“Are you alright?” Steve asks. 

“It’s just a lot,” Bucky admits, sinking into the seat harness. “I thought maybe the kidnapping was a one off experience or at least you know a normal conspiracy to do with my service record but it seems like something really big and wretched is going on…” 

“That does tend to be the way my line of work goes...I just feel kind of terrible that you’re involved in it,” Steve says. 

“No, I get it,” Bucky sighs and looks out the window, watching the land race by underneath them. “Can you tell me about the tesseract?” 

“What I can tell you about the tesseract,” Steve says, “is that it’s a horrible blue cube that has power we can’t fathom and harnessing it is completely mad. So we decided, unilaterally, as the world council that it was a terrible idea so we sent it to Asgard with Thor and Loki because it would be safe in the vaults.” 

“Except it wasn’t in Asgard…” Bucky says slowly. 

“Or it was there and stolen - either way it’s here now and some of the technology we’re seeing out of HYDRA feels … really eerily tesseract adjacent so … you do the math.” 

“Fuck,” Bucky says, frowning and staring out the window, “and what … well is it possible that someone in EHTS is the one who stole it and gave it to HYDRA?” 

“Or,” Steve says darkly, “that someone in EHTS is HYDRA.” 

Bucky makes a low sound of dissent and crosses his arms over his chest, “and there’s nothing we can do about it right off the bat is there? This is a covert ops long play thing…” 

“Got it in one,” Steve says. 

Bucky sighs, “I can wait, as long as someone pays in the end.” 

*****

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [possessive and a little frantic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18704815) by [deisderium art (Deisderium)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deisderium/pseuds/deisderium%20art)




End file.
